Saturday 17 July 2004

okay, okay - I feel pregnant now

I felt like hell on Thursday, had a horrible night and not much sleep that night, and a crap day yesterday. I had a throbbing headache for two days, the heartburn and nausea returned, I did something odd to my neck, and I have pains down my arms into my fingers (it's probably my RSI getting worse). I was clumsy, tired, moody, weepy, and felt like I was constantly on the verge of a panic attack. I can't sleep without a fan blowing on me, which doesn't really help anyway because I'm waking up every hour to take a Tums for the heartburn, drink some water, or get up to pee. I'm afraid to say how I feel today just in case I jinx myself again, so I'll just say that I'm not worried about not feeling pregnant.

The midwife rang me yesterday, and unfortunately, the first impressions weren't great. She kept insisting that I sounded surprised and seemed to take great amusement in going on about it. This was all based on the following: "Hello, this is Pat, the midwife." "Oh, yes - hello!" (in a pleased/relieved/nice to hear from you way). This led to several remarks about how shocked I sounded, with a slight tinge of disbelief when I explained several times that no one had actually told me what would happen next and perhaps maybe that's why I seemed taken aback slightly. So after minutes of this stimulation conversation, she finally got round to business and explained that she would be meeting me at home. She gave me a date and time, I said it would be no problem, and I asked her a bit more about what to expect. Specifically, I wanted to know what sort of checks she'd be doing as all she mentioned was filling out paperwork. She said she'd give me a blood and urine test (I'm guessing the former is to check for rubella immunity and blood type, and the latter is to check for infection and gestational diabetes) and check my blood pressure. I asked if she would try to listen for the baby's heartbeat, which was met with laughter and the comment that "it's a tad early for that". Mmmmmkay.

I'm thinking that perhaps she doesn't come across well on the telephone and/or my hormones are making me more sensitive than usual. I've asked Paul to try and get a good assessment of her when she comes for her visit, although he admitted that he found her strange on the phone as well (when she rang, Paul asked who was calling which seemed to really throw her for a loop). Thankfully, I don't think I'm under any obligation to go with this particular midwife, but we'll just have to see how it goes.

In the meantime, I'm just going to sit here quietly and wait for the second trimester to arrive.

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