Friday 22 March 2002

you know your workmates didn't really care for you that much when... get a shirt like this as a going away present. No, he wasn't really terribly popular I'd have to say.

See for more details on the story of the shirt.

Posted by

(photos courtesy of Jack going mad with my camera after our weekly pub lunch)

Thursday 21 March 2002

some people's kids

So I came home instead of going to yoga so I could be here to show my flat - to some twonk who never even showed up. I rang him after waiting for 1/2 an hour, and all he could muster up was "Uhhh I just forgot". No sorry or anything.

Which reminds me, we discovered that there's some bloke in our office in America whose last name is Wankier. I kid you not. We really want to send him an email.

At home. Must post short entry. Sounding like William Shatner. Bones!...

Anyhoo, just forgot to add that Royal Tenenbaums was a fabulous flick. Really enjoyed it - run out to see it if you can. Erm, although it's probably long gone from North American cinemas by now.

Gotta show some bloke my flat in an hour. *sigh* This is definitely starting to get tiresome.

Well, I dunno. I can use Blogger from work without any problems, but I still can't post anything longer than 4 lines from home. *shrug* Maybe it's Windows XP being evil.

I found someone to take my flat, but my landlord is dragging his heels about it and wants me to still show the place to anyone else who wants to see it. That was fun - I was stress free for one day thinking I finally found someone to take over my lease. Now it's back to keeping the feckin place spotless all the time, not being able to go out in the evenings because I've got to show my flat to various bored and cynical people, and worrying that no one will take the flat in time for me to move. Feckfeckfeck.

Meanwhile, I'm researching holidays in Provence in April. :) Whee!

Tuesday 19 March 2002

...and in other news...

More people came to see my flat, so maybe someone will actually take it before I leave after all. Hurrah. The Tescos delivery man said that he was very sorry that I'm moving and he would miss me. Now that's sweet. In other terse news, we're off to see The Royal Tenenbaums tomorrow night. Should be fun. Brief posting is fun. So succinct, it is. Sound like Yoda now, I do.
still plagued

Blogger continues to irk me. I am irked. It is so irksome. Now I've probably exceeded my character limit for one post, so I'll hit "Post & Publish" now.

Sunday 17 March 2002

happy green beer day

I asked everyone at work what they were doing for St. Patrick's Day. They all looked at me like I was insane and said something about how it was only Americans who did that. And the Irish, I reminded them. Oh yeah, them too, they said. The English just aren't into it, which is strange because you'd think a holiday that revolves around being in pubs would catch on here. Go figure.

One thing's for certain - I'm going into London on Canada Day, covered in rub on maple leaf tatoos, and swearing at people in Quebecois French. Brits ain't gonna take that festivity away from me. *mumble grumble missing the parade mumble Old Dublin fiddle player grumble*

Well, since I cannot update my template because Blogger continues to be a massive pile of pants, I'll have to put this here. Mark's back! I'll put a link on the left whenever I can.

As for Blogger, I give you a very enthusiastic pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffftttttttttttttttttttttttt.

Saturday 16 March 2002

sorted sorta

Ah. It appears that Blogger doesn't like to upload my entries if they contain more than something like 80 characters. Well, that's an interesting and irritating development.

Right, welcome to my pithy blog. If I have anything lengthy to say, I'll break it up over a series of posts. *snort*

Blogger is becoming increasingly annoying. It seems that it only works every 4th or 5th time I try to upload my page. I also love it when it takes a bazillion years to post the last thing I wrote, only to give me a "this page cannot be displayed" error thus losing my post in the process.

I've looked in to Grey Matter and Moveable Type, but I just don't understand how it works. I gotta get Perl? Eh? How do I use CHMOD via FTP? Why on earth can't someone come up with something that runs on your server that isn't insanely difficult to configure? Surely there must be some way to come up with a tidy exe file that installs a lovely bit of software that a) timestamps entries b) allows you to update your page and c) gives each entry an ID number so that you can attach comments. Sheesh.

In the meantime, I'm typing entries in Notepad to upload whenever Blogger feels like working. If it's like last time, that means you'll see this in about three days.

Friday 15 March 2002

your weekly horoscope

Another one from Gordon Bradley, who is always after me Lucky Charms.

aries-- north american pop culture would be such a void without colourful folk like the Lucky Charms leprechaun

taurus-- nothing compares 2 U

gemini-- you have a drink with Shane McGowan and the Pogues and get home three weeks later

cancer-- when Irish eyes are smiling, it always seems to be maudlin people in an airport hotel bar, no?

leo-- green food colouring in beer: now that's just crazy talk

libra-- if you've ever added 4 ounces of creme de menthe to a McDonald's shamrock shake, you will know soo know what i mean; what was i saying?

virgo-- Irish coffee is not in fact the breakfast of champions

saggittarius (sp?)-- sorry to be a hardass, but if you discover a 4-leaved clover, it's more likely genetically-modified than lucky

capricorn-- Bono called: he wants his fading rockstar sunglasses back

scorpio-- enough of your scorpion-like shenanigans

aquarius-- things have been rough lately. take a holiday in a relaxing spot such as Belfast or Dublin

pisces-- Guiness has minerals and gets you mellow, coca-cola has caffeine and sugar and makes you hyper and fat. umm, score one for the Guiness
i see drunk people

Curry, wine, and a very funny DVD. A good time was had by all. My neighbours are probably very glad that I'm moving.

Wednesday 13 March 2002

i need a maid

It's such a pain - I've got to keep my flat really clean because people might stop by to take a look. What's worse is I spoke to a woman tonight who was telling me that her husband is a neat freak and won't take a flat if it looks messy. Grand. Apparently he's especially disgusted by dirty ovens. Guess what I've been doing for the past 1/2 hour? That's right. Cleaning my oven.

Oh, how I cannot wait to move.

Monday 11 March 2002

what's in a name?

For only £38, you can change your name online! We thought it would be really funny if you could change other people's names, but alas, you cannot.
hack cough splutter

At home today with a bad cold. Whee. Everyone thinks I'm skiving 'cos it's Monday, and I'm having some sort of luxurious long weekend. Pfffttt.

I'm all excited about moving. Well, I am and I'm not - I can't wait to move but I really hate the actual physical act of moving. Packing just gets right on my tats, and I keep looking at the big stuff (like the glass-topped dining room table) with dread. Did you know that the promise of pizza and beer entices people to help you move here in the UK? I thought that was a Canadian thing, but no! They fall for it...erm...I mean...they are more than happy to lend a hand for this fee here too.

I have ordered more stuff from Amazon. They are so eeeeeeeevil.

Ever since my 30th. birthday, my Mom started this tradition of sending me a birthday card every week for the month of March until my birthday on the 31st. I can't figure out if this is really sweet or really weird. She also keeps sending me care packages containing things like Kraft Dinner and Sapporo Ichiban soup, and has supplied me with more Roots clothing than the Olympic team. Actually, I finally found Kraft Dinner here, but the box design is different and they call it "Kraft pasta and cheese". How posh! In all seriousness, I think my Mom's parcels and cards are fab. I really get a kick out of opening my kitchen cupboard and seeing Canadian products with two official languages on the labels, sitting next to my HP sauce and Bisto. "Fusion cuisine", as my friend Chris would call it.

Saturday 9 March 2002

yes, i know it's not friday

...but Blogger has been down for ages and I couldn't post anything to my site. I still can't - I'm actually typing this into Notepad and will update my site whenever Blogger decides to behave. I have to say, this is about the third time this has happened to me and I've only been using Blogger since January. Anyway...

Here's my Friday Five, from Smattering:

1. What makes you homesick?

Lots of things that I never realised would bother me until I moved to another continent. I get homesick when my Mom sends me care packages (she's too funny) filled with things like Kraft Dinner and Second Cup coffee. I get homesick when I get email from friends back in Montreal. I get homesick when I find something really funny but there's no one to tell as you'd have to be Canadian to "get it". I got really homesick when my Mom sent me a video tape a little while ago - I asked her to tape the "Talking to Americans" special (hilarious, by the way) and she included hours of other shows from home that I can't see here.

2. Where is "home" for you? Is it where you are living now, or somewhere else (ie: Mom & Dad's house, particular state/city)?

Good question and one that's really hard for me to answer. People ask me where I'm from all the time, and I always stumble when I answer. I say Montreal, but I was actually born and raised in and around Toronto; I didn't move to Montreal until I was 20. I tend to say Montreal is home for me because it's the city I've lived in the longest (11 years) and it's the last Canadian city I called home. Actually, I generally just say Canada is home because not many people here know where or what Montreal and Toronto are. My parents are still in Toronto, so when I lived in Montreal, "home" always meant Toronto. Confused? Oh yes, me too. When I went back to Canada at Xmas, people I met asked where I was from (apparently I've developed some sort of accent). Again, I stumbled and said "Canada, but I now live in England". So now it seems "Canada" is home for me even though I don't live there anymore. Just don't ask me where in Canada. ;)

3. What makes it home for you? People? Things?

A sense of identity, mostly. Montreal never truly felt like home because there was always some cultural reference I didn't understand or some shared experience I didn't know about. In a more general sense, "home" tends to be wherever I am and wherever I feel comfy. Right now, I'd say that Cambridge feels like home. I've got favourite pubs and restaurants, know the area well, and consider myself more of a local now.

4. Where is the furthest you've been from home, miles-wise?

Hmm that must be Paris, I'd reckon. From Toronto (let's say that "home" is my birthplace for the sake of argument), that's 3,738 miles away.

5. What are your plans for this weekend?

Showing my flat to someone in about an hour, then I'm probably off to Jack and Heather's to watch a Canadian film tonight (oooh today's theme is CANADA), then I'll be spending much of my free time packing and chucking out things I don't want to move.

your weekly horoscope, by gordon bradley

I just love having an excuse to use this picture every week. ;) Courtesy of my ex-workmate and friend, Gordon - enjoy!


you may call it 'homemade TIVO', but most just call it a VCR


you are the wind beneath my wings, but i have to apologize, because i had no idea the in-flight meal included chili


someone who can articulate the difference between a Sedan and a Coupe is someone who can afford to buy your soul


your mastery of all sexual zones leads you briskly to zinc ointment


the mexican food tastes different in Mexico--it's like it's more spicy or something


you're just like the whore with the heart of gold, except your heart isn't gold so much


it took the egyptians thousands of years to discover papyrus, but you keep beating that bulrush dear

saggittarius (sp?)

why is teen violence so out of control? well for starters, you could give them some nachos


liza minelli has 16 bridesmaids in her upcoming spring 2002 wedding, because you know if she doesn't fall down from the scotch, it'll be the pills


if kevin spacey ever tells you this long story with a guy named 'keyser sose' in it, go meet mr. kobayashi at the curb before he does


remember the Sleestaks from 'Land of the Lost'? yeah, well, this weekend: them


you and a zoo penguin could both eat 'saumon a la tartare', but people would find the penguin cute

Friday 8 March 2002

oh. my.

There's a sticky note in the kitchen with the words "please eat me" on it. It's just sitting there on the counter, not stuck to anything. I really, really, really want to stick this on an unsuspecting workmate. See, this is why I keep getting dodgy performance reviews.

Thursday 7 March 2002

we shall have a fishy on a little dishy, we shall have a fishy when the boat comes in

I'm half asleep and full of wine, but I just had to say that the Loch Fyne restaurant here in Cambridge is really delish. It's a posh (ish) seafood restaurant in town that's a bit pricey but the quality of food is excellent. I had scallops to start, with fish cakes (nothing like those crappy ass Bird's Eye frozen things) and a chocolate tart for dessert. My god, but I'm full. Must roll off to bed...

(no boobies were harmed in the making of this post)

Wednesday 6 March 2002

spamitty spam

Fresh from my Hotmail inbox comes this delightful subject line:


I already have some, thanks. Oddly, this email was not from Shel. ;)
update yer links!

Could all of you lovely possums who are linking to my page please update the URL to I love you, I kiss you.

Tuesday 5 March 2002

she's got it, yeah baby she's got it

The cottage is mine. MINE. :) I move in at the end of this month. Yay me.

I registered my very own domain name today. Yes, that's right - in about 24 hours you'll be able to visit me at If you think that's bad, you should have heard some of the ones we came up with earlier. Let's just say that if any of you need the domain name "", Jack has discovered that it's available.

Pfffffffttttttt! I just typed in another domain name to see if it's free, and I think someone should use it: . I'm peeing!

Monday 4 March 2002

instant gratification

The world is a dangerous place, and I'm not even talking about stuff like poking an eye out with something while running. My Amazon order that I placed on Saturday arrived this morning - now that's fast! And eeeeeevil. It makes me want to order more...MORE! Then I went to the bank to see if I could increase my overdraft for this month, just in case I need it to help pay for the deposit on my (hopefully) new home. "Why certainly", the 15 year old accounts manager said to me, "How would £3,000 sound? Is that enough to cover your costs?" Holy hell is it ever, I thought as my eyes glistened and I subconsciously started rubbing my hands together. MUUUHH HAHAHAHAAA!!

*slap* No! I cannot live in a world that gives you stuff and encourages you to get into debt! Gah! Yes, I need the money for a deposit but they shouldn't make it so bloody easy. I will not use the entire overdraft. I will not use the entire overdraft. I will not use...oooh, that sofa would look so cute in my new home. *Ka-ching*

Sunday 3 March 2002

why credit cards and internet connections are dangerous

Currently on order:

  • The Highway Code (Wot, you think I'm gonna drive in this country without knowing what the road signs mean?)

  • Snap! (I had an urge to purchase something by The Jam and no, it has nothing to do with the scooter.)

  • Father Ted Series 2 Part 2 (Ah go on, it's the latest in the series on DVD.)

  • Monty Python and the Holy Grail (The 2 DVD set finally comes out here on Tuesday.)

  • A gift for Tony's birthday (He reads this page, so I ain't tellin' you what it is here.)

Saturday 2 March 2002

get yer motor runnin'

Yes, I am now the proud owner of this kicky little scooter. I'm a scooter babe! Well, I'm a soon to be scooter babe - I do have to wait for my UK licence to arrive in the post.

The test drive was so much fun. That thing is a hell of a lot peppier than you'd think. I was only going about 30 MPH up and down the road and it felt a lot faster, plus it accelerates very quickly. It's going to be perfect for the commute to work, whether I stay here or end up moving to Willingham.

At the end of the test drive, I was actually going "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!" which is so uncool. But fun. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Friday 1 March 2002


Ohmigod. The cottage is no longer listed on the letting agent's web site. Does that mean my credit's been approved and they're letting me take it?! Hmm a bit odd considering they don't have my deposit in their hot little hands yet. But still...
oops, almost forgot

It's the Friday Five!

1. What's your favorite vacation spot?

Out of all our travels, Scotland still stands out as my favourite. It's impossible to describe how beautiful the Highlands are, and we picked the perfect week to go. Paris runs a very close second.

2. Where do you consider to be the biggest hell-hole on earth?

Hamilton, Ontario, Canada or Croydon, England. Take yer pick.

3. What would be your dream vacation?

At this very moment, I'd love to be somewhere warm, quiet, and near the sea.

4. If you could go on a road-trip with anyone, who would it be and why?

Has to be Tony, and we've probably clocked over 3,000 miles worth of road trips around the UK so far. I have absolutely no sense of direction and am easily confused by maps, and he has the ability to find his way around anywhere. One of my favourite places to be is in the passenger seat watching the scenery go by.

5. What are your plans for this weekend?

Scooter test drive tomozza afternoon, Micky's big birthday bash in the evening, then hung over early Spring cleaning on Sunday...just in case I move house soon, you see. I don't want to move a lot of junk I don't need. Yeah I know I've only been here 1 1/2 years, but I've already started accumulating a lot of crap. Sadly.

The property agents rang work yesterday to ask about my length of employment and salary. That was quick! I only posted my application off on Wednesday and I know that first class post arrives the next day, but that was darn speedy. I think this is a good sign. I hope.

Scooter test drive is tomorrow. A small crowd has decided to gather and laugh at me. Well, "support" me they said but I'm skeptical. I think I'm gonna dig driving it - as if enough people didn't already think I'm Italian, this scooter's gonna cinch it.

You know what's annoying? When you've got chips/fries in the oven and they're almost done, and then (and only then) do you realise that you've got no ketchup. DAMN.
go go go

Run out and see Gosford Park. Go! Now! I'll wait for you here. Dum de dum dum deeee...