eating, sightseeing, more eating: our Easter holiday summary

What busy bees we've been! The kids have two weeks off here for Easter (which is too long if you're not going away anywhere this time of year, in my opinion) so we've been filling our days with fun. I totally admit that I choose activities and places to eat based on things I like; you won't find me suffering in silence at a Chuck E. Cheese. So this break, we had days out in London and Cambridge, and a trip to the safari park. And quite a lot of eating.

The fun started in London with a trip to the museums. I was going to start with the Tate Modern, but I took us to the wrong tube station. I'm sorry, but Mansion House and Manor House are too similarly named for my liking. Anyway, we skipped Tate and went straight to lunch to Benihana's, which is one of Jack's favourites. I haven't been for years - probably since I introduced Paul to the concept on a business trip to Florida before we were married - and it was good fun. It was very quiet and we pretty much had the place to ourselves. The onion volcano was awesome.



The next stop was the Science Museum (fun, but the kids got bored fairly quickly) then the Natural History Museum (more fun, couldn't pull the kids away.) Museums are free in London, all the time. How amazing is that? You do have to pay for special exhibitions, like the David Bowie one at the V&A, but it's free to wander around the rest of the museums. I love that they're accessible to everyone. All museums should be like this.



Our day ended with a trip to Hamley's toy shop (overcrowded and overrated, and not at all like the toy shop in "Big" which is what all toy shops should be like) and supper at Mother Mash. It's a great concept but the food is not as great. Don't get me wrong, it's tasty but could be done so much better. I think it's a good place to go if you're not English and not used to getting pie and sausages that are well made - it's certainly better than your standard pub fare - but the food suffers from precooking and reheating. Needless to say, the kids absolutely loved it, service was excellent, and it was a fair price for all the food we ate.



I took the girls to Cambridge while Paul took Jack to a rugby match at Twickenham with other friends. As always, my first priority was food, so we had lunch at Jamie's Italian. I signed up to their mailing list ages ago and was recently sent a "gold card". I wasn't sure what it entailed, but knew that it got me £10 off our first visit using the card. Much to my delight, not only did I get a discount, I got a free "taster" (fresh mozzarella with basil and oil), free pudding, and because it was my birthday the week before, a free bottle of prosecco. BEST DAY EVER.



I've been meaning to check out the new science centre since it opened and it was well worth a visit. Don't be put off by its size, which is about as big as the ground floor of our house. Which isn't big at all. I thought the girls would look around for 5 minutes and want to leave, but they were transfixed by all the hands-on activities. We made maple tree "helicopter" seeds out of paper and flew them in a wind tunnel, listened to demonstrations about things like static electricity, and examined giant plastic eyeballs.  As we looked at the exhibits, staff came around to tell us interesting facts about what we were looking at. We were there for almost two hours, before I lured them away with the promise of cake at Patisserie Valerie. It's a great little place, and cost us a grand total of £6.



Our final fun day out (before I had to go back to work, boooo) was at Woburn Safari Park, which is very expensive if you forget to order Tesco vouchers far enough in advance. Seriously, don't go unless you're doing it on vouchers. It's stupid expensive for what it is. The first part is a driving safari, which is pretty much the same concept anywhere in the world. You drive around, try to spot animals, then monkeys poo on your car and rip off the antenna. The other part of the park has bird shows, play areas, and a few more animals.



As always, the day involved food. We had supper at Wagamama, a Japanese-inspired chain restaurant with long bench seating and a lot of noodles. It's good, but it won't put any authentic places out of business. They have a varied and interesting kid's menu, and the portions are massive, much to Jack's delight. The food is fresh, nicely cooked, and full of flavour. I had a humungous bowl of udon noodles with steak and veggies, and the girls had little cod balls with curry sauce and rice. Jack started to complain about having a child's portion of chicken ramen soup, until it arrived and was bigger than his head.



It's been a fun, tiring break. I hope the kids got something out of it (other than big bellies) and I'm grateful that I have the opportunity to take them on days out like this. And now, after a long two weeks and a tough work schedule, I'm off to Ragdale Hall with a couple of friends to do nothing. I may be some time.

we have officially become middle-aged

So I've been finding myself spending a lot of time looking at kitchen designs and pictures of living rooms for inspiration. This is a sure sign that I am no longer "young and hip", although I think that description died a death the day I got really excited about getting a bread machine as a gift.

We've had plans drawn up which are about to go to the council for planning permission, and Nationwide has been positive about re-mortgaging the house. The house, she will be getting bigger - not to fill it with more children, I hasten to add. We just need more space, especially when the kids get older. The new room at the back of the house will be a family den sort of thing, and the current living room at the front of the house will be my TV-free haven. We're also renovating the kitchen, which is something we've talked about since we moved in ten years ago. That melamine paint was supposed to be a temporary measure to cover the ugly 80s cabinets, but there they remain. So long, retro cupboards and lack of counter space! If budget permits, we're also hoping to add a utility room in the garage.

As with all things in my life, I am a little bit worried. The thought of living on a building site with three kids fills me with dread, especially when we will be without a kitchen for a little while. I feel overwhelmed by all the choices out there, and what's the best decision. Do we go for a dark worktop, or will that be impossible to keep clean? Wood flooring through all the rooms downstairs, or ceramic tile in the kitchen? Dark or light cabinets? What kind of cabinets? What colours will we use for the new room and the living room? Gah!

Thanks to bureaucracy, we will have a lot of time to think about all of this. It'll take quite a few weeks to get planning permission and another few weeks for the builders to get started, depending on how busy they are at the moment. I can't imagine anything will get started before August, which is fine. I think that because we're still in the very early stages and we have no idea what we're doing, it's all a bit overwhelming. Exciting, but kind of scary.

Being a grown-up is hard work sometimes.

missing

We went to see old friends of ours on Sunday, whose dog Jake is a couple of years older than Jasper. Although he's a cocker spaniel, he's got a very similar face - black with those big brown soulful eyes, and even has the same grey muzzle. He's always reminded me of Jasper, which is something I'd forgotten about until we went to visit.

He does that head butting thing that Jasper did when he wanted attention; if you stop petting him, he pushes his head under your arm. It was nice - really nice - to stroke a dog again and hold a little furry face in my hands, but god it was hard. It was only as I was saying things to Jake that I realised they were the doggyisms I said to Jasper. The way I scratched behind his ears and rubbed the top of his nose was the same. It made the absence of our dog more apparent, and that was very difficult to cope with.

Our friend asked if we would get another dog. Paul is certain that he wants another, but I'm just not sure. I hate not having a dog in the house. Hate it. It's unbearably, painfully quiet when I'm here working on my own. I miss the tapping of his nails on the floors, the thudding of his massive tail on the walls and radiator (or whatever he was standing next to at the moment), his bark when the doorbell goes. Having a pet is very therapeutic - I just can't feel shitty when I'm stroking a dog.

On the other hand, I never want to go through the loss of a pet again. Jasper was my first pet and although I always knew that day would come, it's been horrible. It's only been just over a month and everything is still so raw, and I know that it's not the right time to decide about doing this all again. I think, as my lovely friend Kari said, I will simply know when the time is right. Right now, I wouldn't be able to look at a new dog without comparing him to Jasper and perhaps having unfair expectations of how he should behave.

One day, maybe. Probably. One day.

a mother of a day

I'm not sure why a lot of my friends and family back home get confused or are surprised that Mother's Day is much earlier here. I've been posting about it on Facebook every year since 2007, so obviously they are just not paying attention! The nerve.

So last Sunday was Mother's Day in the UK, which is related to Lent and Easter and is never on the same Sunday each year. Confusing, but it keeps you on your toes. It's always at some point in March; a bonus for me as my birthday's the 31st. Not that I demand much of anything or expect to be spoiled, I just love knowing I'll get at least two meals cooked for me one month out of the year.



All three made cards for me, which is something I absolutely love. Give me handmade any day over Hallmark. Mia's class did their Mother's Day-themed assembly on Friday, and she did so well. I love her painting of me - I look surprised and/or like I've had some work done. All the paintings were brilliant and met with tears of laughter. The school needs to update their Mother's Day song, though. It was something along the lines of, "You may not have any education, but you can cook well and that's good enough for me."



After the assembly, I went into work where a project manager greeted me with a bottle of fizz as thanks for my work on our latest release. What an excellent end to the week and start to the weekend! Our nieces came for a visit on Saturday for the night, which was a lovely treat - we don't see them very often. On Sunday, Paul cooked us an amazing roast dinner and a gorgeous bouquet of flowers arrived at the door.

Each year when I talk about the lovely things that happen to me on Mother's Day, it invariably and unintentionally makes someone feel like crap. I know I'm lucky to be with someone who's thoughtful and loving, and I don't take that for granted. Life is not perfect by any means and we've been through a lot of sad, tough times together. I am very blessed to have three great kids, who make me laugh and smile every day, and who force me to take time out to enjoy life. Being a mum is something I didn't even know I wanted until I was in my 30s and I don't think I'm particularly good at it (I don't even iron anything, for god's sake), but I am a much better person for it.

weekly roundup

So can we all agree that the photo a day thing is a great idea but it's never, ever gonna happen? Let's do a photo a week. Okay? Okay.

Here's this week's photo - Mia at her karate grading today:



She is so little and cute when she does her grading, but she can hold her own. We find out Thursday if she gets her next belt (purple.) I think she did brilliantly, but I'm a bit biased.

I finished my first full week of work and I'm exhausted, which sounds pathetic, but I'm very much out of practice. Being full time at my day job and carrying on with all the errands, tasks, and other hilarity that being a family of five brings is goddamn tiring. I am feeling a bit smug about it all, though. I didn't forget anything hugely important, all children were fed and had clean clothes for the week, and I didn't lose any of them.

Truth be told, it's been stressful and I feel like I'm struggling to keep my head above the water but weirdly, this has been a good thing. Because my time is even more limited, I'm much more conscious about what I'm doing and getting better at prioritising. I'm putting aside the tasks that aren't really important and making time for those that are. Normally I would plough through menial crap like doing the dishes or tidying up when I could be sitting with the kids and doing something with them. I find myself asking myself, "Do I really need to do this?" and usually the answer is nah. Go cuddle a toddler instead. Laundry can wait.

Tomorrow, an architect is coming over to advise us about whether or not we can extend the house at the back and what our options might be. I can't even begin to tell you how exciting this is. This could mean a souped-up kitchen and extra space we can use as a family room. We could end up with a civilised living room for grown ups if the kids have another room they can use. I might get a sofa with a little loungey bit on the end where I can put my feet up and knit. I don't care that this is a middle-aged thing to get giddy about; I have no shame about my love for quiet spaces and nice kitchens.

And that's the week that was, plus a bit about this coming week. We're living on the edge!

eight

Last Friday, my little boy turned eight. EIGHT! It feels like I've been a mother forever, and the memory of my time held against my will in hospital seems very distant. On the other hand, sometimes Jack does still seem very little (which he is) and I'm grateful that he hasn't outgrown the need for a cuddle and still tells me he loves me every single day.

He constantly makes me laugh. I love his Linus-esque observations of the world around him. When he's not fighting with them, he is really wonderful with his little sisters. He loves asking me about what he was like when he was a baby - his favourite story is the one about the time he farted so loudly, it scared the dog. That one never stops being funny, apparently.

He's the one that brought quite a few of you to this site, in fact (or at least many of you "found" me when I was pregnant with Jack.) I love my boy with all my heart. He's changed my life forever, for the better.

about face

So the day after writing about wanting to do more things with Isla on Mondays, I've agreed to take on more working days for the next five weeks.

*hysterical laughter*

I just wasn't going to be able to produce all the documentation my client needed in time for their  product releases at the end of March, so I suggested that I work extra days to help meet the workload. I'm currently on a 3 day week, which is great and works well for me, but there's no way the work would have got done.

Plus, I suppose the extra money will be nice. I can put it towards buying Isla therapy one day when she realises that I gave up precious time with her and shoved her into nursery for an extra day a week.