girls are weird.

03 May 2008

i should be in bed

A bit of fun 'cos I can't think of anything to blog about. Tagged by Miss Kitty:

Remove 1 question from below and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. [Lisa's note: I don't do tagging, so if you're reading this and are thinking to yourself "Ooh. I wanna do this.", go for it.]

1. What do you really really want right now?
Sleep. Lots of it. And then perhaps a nap, followed by a doze.

2. If you can turn into anything, what do you wish you can turn into?
A baby or toddler because man, what a fantastic life. People feed you, you sleep whenever you want, and you think stuff like paper towel tubes are really, really cool. And tasty.

3. How are you feeling now?
Full of curry.

4. Where is the place that you want to go most?
Home. Oh hey, I'm going there on Thursday. Well, that's sorted then.

5. If you have one dream to come true, what would it be? I've changed this question to: If you were a Krispy Kreme doughnut, which one would you be?
Something covered in nuts with a squidgy middle.

6. Do you want more children?
Mine or other people's? No to both.

7. Do you think religion is redundant?
Religion is necessary for some people, and I respect that.

8. What cheers you up for the rest of the day?
My kids because they are damn funny. When they're not screaming and dripping snot, that is.

9. If you meet someone you love, would you confess to him/her?
Confess what? About that killing spree back in '72? No, that would definitely create a really awkward moment. I'm really in touch with this whole etiquette thing.

10. List out three good things of the person who tagged you.
a) She's one of the few people around me who appreciates the finer things in life such as Peanut Butter Cups.
b) She's an Aries. All the cool chicks are Aries.
c) She organised some kick-ass games for my baby shower, and didn't make any of us eat baby food.

11. What are the requirements that you wish of your other half?
Own teeth, own hair, has a job, doesn't live with his mother.

12. What type of person do you hate the most?
The chav a-hole who took the last parent/child parking spot at Tesco the other day.

13. What would you do if you won a million dollars?
I'd buy you lunch, and maybe even dessert too.

14. What would you wanna be remembered for after you're dead?
My tombstone should read: "She emigrated, she birthed, she made really good brownies."

15. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
The fact that I dwell on the ridiculous for far too long.

16. What would you most want to achieve right now?
Right now? Not forgetting to pack anything important.

17. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Happiness - everyone's.

18. If there's one thing in your life you wanted to do but yet unable to, what would it be?
Learn a third language.

19. What do you see yourself as in the next 10 years?
Middle-aged and writing angry letters to the Daily Mail.

20. If you were an animal, what would you be?
My dog, definitely. He's awake something like 10 minutes out of the day, and that's only to eat.

[posted by: Lisa] --

29 April 2008

i'm going to my happy place

I keep wondering if the hypnotherapy is actually going to work. When I think about our pending holiday I feel a bit panicky, but I think that has to do with worrying about the logistics of travelling across the ocean with two small children. So to "test out" the hypnotherapy, I've been envisioning the flight and turbulence to see how I react. During quiet moments, I focus my mind on being on the plane, the hum of the engine, then the dreaded *ding* of the seat belt sign illuminating. I imagine feeling bumps and shudders, then slight drops. I breathe in deeply then exhale the tension. The calm soothing voice of the hypnotherapist plays back in my mind and I tell myself that the fear is all in my mind.

Yep, I've officially gone cuckoo caca.

[posted by: Lisa] --

25 April 2008

look into my eyes; not around my eyes

I really don't like flying. I like travelling and I like going to new and exciting places (especially if it involves outlet malls), but I hate having to take an airplane to get there. Actually, I'm not afraid of flying - I don't mind take off and landing, or being up in the air - I'm afraid of crashing. It's the turbulence and the anticipation of turbulence that makes me want to run away screaming. Plummeting 30,000 feet to our deaths. That sort of thing. It's not like Lost, you know.

So as my kids get older and Jack is much more aware of everything around him, I don't want them to learn to be afraid of flying from me. Plus, I'm fed up of feeling like a nutcase when I fly, particularly considering that I used to love it when I was a kid. I want to look forward to our flights and enjoy having 8-10 hours of nothing to do but reading, watching films, and spending time with the kids.

I decided to see a hypnotherapist to help me get over this fear, encouraged by the positive experience I had with hypnotherapy antenatal CDs when I was pregnant with Mia. "What a bucket of caca!", I hear you say. Well, maybe. But if it helps me overcome my fear of flying, why not? Phobias are all in the mind, so "reprogramming" your brain to respond appropriately to the situation seems a sensible solution. The hypnotherapy didn't involve a middle-aged guy with a pocket watch going "You're getting sleeeeeepyyyyy" or getting me to cluck like a chicken. I think. Hmmm. No, pretty sure that didn't happen. It involved going into a state of deep relaxation, mentally going through the process of taking a flight, and getting suggestions and coping techniques from the hypnotherapist during the times I felt anxious. It was strange and interesting; I felt incredibly relaxed but extremely aware of what was going on. It was very much like when you close your eyes to go to sleep and your brain goes through a list of things you need to do, replays scenes from the day, etc. I "woke" feeling very relaxed and energetic, and slept very well the nights after I had my sessions.

We fly to Toronto in two weeks, so we shall see if any of it worked. At the moment, thinking about flying doesn't bother me at all and I'm very much looking forward to our trip home. Whether or not this is still the case when we're above the clouds and that goddamn little seat belt light comes on is to be determined. Fingers crossed.

*cluck*

[posted by: Lisa] --

14 April 2008

Maltezer Cake
Originally uploaded by Lisa Durbin

Oh, look - here's another photo I meant to blog about months ago. Here's the Maltezer cake (I think Maltezers are the same as Milk Duds in the States) I made for Jack's birthday. It was for Jack to take into nursery, and apparently it went down really well with everyone. This one's from Nigella's "Feast", which was that book she did before she went all funny and started pretending to ride public transportation and shop at Waitrose. Remember?

I was watching that godawful programme "Market Kitchen" on UKTV Food which is presented by that godawful Irish woman whose name escapes me at the moment. Said Irish woman made the remark, "The Americans don't make anything from scratch." Apparently all of you Yanks only make things that come from Betty Crocker, you poor souls. It's no wonder you need to resort to things like Krispy Kreme wedding cakes - if only you knew how to do a fruitcake! Bless your little cotton socks. With the demise of the Easy Bake Oven, little girls just don't learn how to bake anymore.*

*(Yes, I know Americans make things from scratch. The Barefoot Contessa told me so.)

[posted by: Lisa] --

28 March 2008

now that's more like it

Excellent. I'm now getting spam from The HOF:

Dear Halifax bank customer,

We have implemented security measures consistent with our internal information security practices to help us keep your information secure. These measures include technical and procedural steps to protect your data from misuse, access or disclosure, loss, alteration or destruction.

One of these security measures is HOF (Halifax Online Form) to help us to keep your personal and banking data up to date.

You should complete HOF on a regular basis.

Please complete HOF using the link below:

[posted by: Lisa] --

19 March 2008

mi mi miiiiii

I think I've come up with a lucrative new career - editing messages for spammers. Their emails would be more convincing thus earning more money for their cheap pharmaceuticals/banking password retrieval/Nigerian money transfer businesses, and I could make a small fortune charging per typo. It's a win-win situation, really.

The spamming world needs me. Just look at what just arrived in my inbox:

Dear Nationwide Customer,

As a part of our continuing commitment to protect your account and to reduce the instance of fraud on our company, we are undertaking a period of review and updating of our member accounts.

This is required for us to continue offering you a safe and risk free environment to send and receive money online and maintain the experience.

You are requested to visit our site and sing on or your Nationwide account may work not properly.

Sing On

Please do not respond to this notification e-mail.

Sincerely,
Online Banking Team

Those poor souls. I was so close to divulging my account details, too.

[posted by: Lisa] --

17 March 2008

um. i'm not the only one seeing this, right?

I just saw an ad for a Barbie that comes with puppies you fill with water, squeeze so they "wee", and tiny newspapers so you can "paper train" them.

No wonder people who watch daytime television on a regular basis end up going completely batshit.

[posted by: Lisa] --