Thursday 22 February 2007


The first I saw of you was your red bottom, poking up over the screen while the doctors held you. Giving an almighty cry, you arrived. Beautiful, dark-haired, tiny fists, little turned up nose, I fell in love with you straight away. I watched you sleep the first night, making sure your chest rose and fell. I could not believe that you were mine.

Since then, I've seen your bottom thousands of times and you can give a cry loud enough to alert the local police department. Your hair has gone blonde, but your nose is still turned up a bit. You aren't a tiny helpless bundle anymore, you're a little boy with a very distinct personality - but that doesn't stop me from making sure that you're still breathing at night. You astound us by how clever you are, and you crack us up with your pithy remarks. You make every day magical. This day is yours, and now you are two. Happy second birthday, Jack-Jack. I could not love you more.

And I still cannot believe that you're mine.

Tuesday 20 February 2007

our lucky little piggie

This year is the year of the golden pig according to the Chinese zodiac. This happens only once every 60 (or 600, depending on who you ask) years, and children born under this sign are said to lead particularly lucky and wealthy lives.

So woohoo, no dodgy old retirement home for us, then!

Monday 19 February 2007

wake me up when it's over

I got the hideous flu/virus thing that Paul and Jack had last week, which means I've spent the last few days feverish and shivering, and something evil has taken up residence in my sinuses. I haven't been able to taste anything since last Thursday and my face feels like it's going to implode. I'm actually feeling slightly more human today, but dammit, I cannot be sick this week! We've got Jack's kiddie party on Thursday, we're off to Kent for a family birthday weekend, then my parents arrive on Sunday for a week long visit. In the meantime, I've got 2 1/2 working days to complete a rather mammoth task at the office and I need to do some baking for Wednesday. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Being big n' pregnant with a hideous virus and unable to take cold medication SUCKS. Especially when I can't even console myself with some nice chocolate because I could be eating dried up Polyfila for all I know. That's it. I'm going back to bed...and I'm taking these twelve boxes of Kleenex with me.

Thursday 15 February 2007

i am woman?

I'm starting to doubt myself as a woman. I understand that I actually am female, given the fact that I'm building a baby inside me at the moment and wotnot, but there are two troubling things I've discovered about myself recently: I didn't think "The Devil Wears Prada" was a very good film, and I'm not really that keen on "Ugly Betty". Am I the only woman on this planet who feels this way? I mean, I do love shoe shopping and chocolate, so that must count for something, right?

can we fix it?

So after claiming that our son isn't at all interested in children's television programmes, he's now developed a liking for specific shows. He's very fond of Bear in the Big Blue House, Bob the Builder, Winnie the Pooh, and Fireman Sam. His concept of how television actually works does need a bit of tweaking, though. When he wants to watch TV, he'll bring the remote to me and say things like "Bear, please" or "More Piglet!" which is grand if the show is on at the time. Otherwise, we have to get into a lengthy explanation of why mummy doesn't control what's being televised that goes something like this:

"Bear!" [thrusts remote at me with a determined expression on his face]
"Bear's not on right now, sorry."
"Bear!" [places remote in my hand and moves my fingers over random buttons]
"Bear's sleeping now, Jack. We can't watch him at the moment."
"Meeeeeeeeehhhhhhh! BEAR!"
"No, Jack. No bear right now."
[Thinking for a moment] "More, bear...please." [Makes puppy dog eyes at me]

Needless to say, we now we have Sky+ set to record Pooh and Bear.

Tuesday 13 February 2007

under my desk, napping

On Friday, our little boy had a fever and spent most of the day flopped out on the sofa while his daddy worked from home. We managed to sneak out of the house for the evening for a delicious pre-Valentine's dinner (thank you, Caroline!!), but then the lurgy found Paul on Saturday and slapped him around real good. So with a husband physically incapable of doing much and a little boy with a barking seal cough and a fever, I attempted to hold the fort and grow a baby at the same time. I failed miserably. Jack did that special toddler thing of pointing randomly and making "meeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhh" noises that get progressively louder and more aggravated because you have no clue what they want and every question gets an angry response of "NO!" Most of the weekend was spent looking in the fridge and listing every item in there, while Jack looked at me with pleading puppy dog eyes and going "meeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhh". "Do you want juice?" "NOOOOO!" "Cheese?" "NOOOOO!" "Yoghurt?" "NOOOOO!" "Milk?" "NOOOOO!" "Elephants?" "NOOOOO!" etc.

Exhausted and emotional, I burst into tears yesterday. Three sleepless nights plus having to do the household business as usual equalled one tearful lady by Monday. I am still exhausted today, trying to decipher review comments for the document I'm working on, but really wanting to curl up into a ball under my desk and sleep for about 10 hours. And have I mentioned that I have gone off coffee?


Thursday 8 February 2007

summon the army

Heavy snowfall in much of England and Wales has closed schools and left travellers battling transport problems. A number of airport runways were closed with flights cancelled, while train services have also been affected. Hundreds of schools are shut and motorists are being urged to travel only if necessary. Some households are also without power.

Up to 10cm (4in) of snow fell in some areas. Leader of the Commons Jack Straw admitted the UK coped badly with snow. [source]

No kidding, Jack. On my way to work, the BBC warned me not to drive or to take a spade/shovel, torch/flashlight, and warm clothes if I do. Many of our local schools are closed, and most people opted not to come to the office today. There's about 2 inches of snow out there, and none of it's on the road as the traffic has melted it away.

I have to go out and get some lunch now. I may be some time.

because no one wants to see that

At risk of being laughed at, I will tell you about my latest baby-related purchase: a bebe au lait nursing cover. Now look, I know how stupid a lot of you will think this is, but there is a good reason for buying this item. Many of you can breastfeed without using your hands, while carrying the baby around in a sling and making homemade bread, and speaking on the phone to your mother. I'm very pleased for you. Me, I need five pairs of hands, several cushions, a sofa, and an elaborate hoist of some sort. So when it comes to breastfeeding, it's not really a matter of discreetly popping a boob out quickly and covering up with a muslin; it's more of a military operation. Thus, a little extra coverage is nice.

I was never very comfortable about breastfeeding in front of people (husband excluded, of course) and anything that will make me feel more able to do it is a Good Thing. No matter how many people laugh at me.

My only other baby-related purchase so far is a little laundry bag lined with red gingham. Awww. I got a huge assortment of baby clothes from Tosha, and as I started to go through them, I couldn't believe that a baby is actually going to fit into these teeny tiny outfits. Was Jack ever that small? Goodness.

Friday 2 February 2007

she moves in mysterious ways

Back from the scan and all is well, I'm very delighted and relieved to say. The little monkey was curled up into a tight ball, sound asleep, when only minutes before she was bouncing around in there. She decided that scan time was nap time, which made the scan a tad challenging for the sonographer (or The Scan Lady, as we shall now call her). The Scan Lady was lovely, she pointed out every detail and spent half an hour looking at our little one. As Beanie wanted her privacy and wouldn't budge, I had to go and drink something sugary and take a walk to encourage her to move. She did finally change positions ever so slightly, but it was enough to finish the scan successfully. She is healthy and fine (if not a little stubborn), and as far as The Scan Lady could tell, it still looks like a girl.

My placenta, on the other hand, is a troublemaker. It's slightly low, and although it's not covering my cervix, it's low enough to warrant another scan at 36 weeks to see if it's shifted. What does this mean? If it's in the way by the time I give birth, it's another c-section for me. Hurrah. Additionally, the later scan should show if the placenta has grown into the uterine wall. This is a risk with a low anterior placenta and a scar, and means that the placenta wouldn't separate from the uterine wall properly after the birth (which can cause you to hemorrhage). Hurrah again. Never a dull moment, eh.

Most importantly, the baby is fine. And my god, that's a massive relief. Let the shopping begin.

Thursday 1 February 2007

bottomless pit

I ate a burger the size of my head and chips today during a lovely pub lunch, and I'm still hungry. I don't know why, but I've been absolutely starving lately. Do babies have growth spurts in the womb? Yes, I think they do. Let's go with that theory.

It's the big scan tomorrow morning, and thankfully the excitement is winning out over the dread. In fact, the weeks are flying by now and I've even started thinking about what to buy for the nursery. I'm enjoying this feeling.

For those of you who are curious, the room is currently a sage green colour and I'm attempting to find red accessories. Am I having any success? Noooooooo. It's all pink, blue, or neutral creams. I like the idea of going "vintage" and using a bit of gingham and/or polka dots. We don't really have to buy much as we already have all of the furniture, but a few decorative touches and bedding are needed.

If all goes well tomorrow, let the shopping commence!