excuse me while i file my nails and polish off another box of chocolates
"So, what do you do with your days?"
"Are you bored yet?"
"Your scar still hurts?"
"It's nice because you can get everything done while the baby sleeps."
I have a theory. All mothers must go through some sort of pregnancy/birth/having a newborn amnesia because this is the only explanation for some of the comments and questions I've received. The quotes above were all said to me by mothers (and the third one was said by a mother who had a c-section), and the scary thing is, some of these mothers have young kids. I can totally understand how mothers of older/grown up children might not remember what life was like with a newborn, but I think the maternal brain must block out most of our experiences raising babies when our kids reach the age of two. Maybe that's why people go on to have more than one.
As a public service announcement, please, I beg you, do not say any of the above to a new mother. Additionally, try not to say things like "newborns sleep all the time" or "Four hours between feeds? That's great!" (I cannot tell you how many times I've had to explain that four hours between the start of each feed doesn't mean I get four hours of sleep each time.) What you should say are things like "You look great", "You sit down and I'll go make the tea", and "Here's the key to a luxury hotel in the area. You go there for the night and we'll stay here with the baby." (Okay, that last one is a stretch.) The point is, please try not to infer that the new mother hasn't got anything to do or that her life is easy in any respect. There was a point in time when you felt like running away and joining the circus after the millionth sleepless night, but it's been erased from your memory. Trust me, it happened.
I suppose this would be a good time to mention that I started my period yesterday. Go ahead; make my day.