Wednesday 22 September 2004

it's all good

I've come across quite a bit of negative things about being pregnant, giving birth, and coping with a baby. The "non-serious" books about motherhood talk about the less savoury aspects such as hair growing in odd places, enormous painful boobs, wanting to slap your partner with a spanner, and other such hormone-induced hilarity. "The Best Friend's Guide to Pregnancy" is full of sarcastic and somewhat bitter reflections on motherhood and how much you'll hate the man who impregnated you. You won't sleep again, just wait until the baby starts kicking you in the ribs, you'll always be covered in a fine layer of baby barf, and you'll never have sex again. I think I've heard and read it all in the short 6 weeks I've been out of the pregnancy closet.

Perhaps it's in our nature to complain. It's certainly easier to discuss the negative aspects of pregnancy rather than focus on the good stuff. Me, I like being pregnant and although some bits of it I could do without, I am thoroughly enjoying it. How very cool to think that there are two hearts beating inside of me right now, that there is a baby floating around in my womb, and in a few weeks I should be able to feel those first kicks and jabs. I've loved seeing my belly grow and feeling the first flutters. At night, I lie in bed and prod my abdomen, wondering if that little lump or bump I feel is Pip as it dissolves under my fingertips. Lately I've felt what I can only describe as a "thud"; a combination of sound and feeling that reminds me of attending concerts with loud drums or heavy bass, when I can feel a beat reverberate inside of me. I don't mind when people rub my belly (although at this point, only around three people have actually done this so maybe it'll become annoying later on when everyone feels compelled to do this). I like it when people ask how I'm doing; I'm not sure why this seems to be a pet peeve with a lot of pregnant women. Put very simply, I love being pregnant. It's really cool.

The more cynical people will say that this is probably due to the fact that I didn't spend 12 (or 40) weeks with my head down the toilet, and maybe they would be right. I know that it's mere luck that determined this outcome, and for that I'm grateful. I want to enjoy this unique experience without it being marred by misery. I know that I'll get huge and uncomfortable in later weeks. I know that labour and birth can be terrifying and indescribably painful. I know that our lives will change when the baby comes. But for now, I am blissfully happy...and so is Pip because I can feel him/her fluttering around at the moment. Very cool indeed.

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