Wednesday 5 February 2003

oh come now, you're not even trying

Sometimes the glaringly obvious escapes people, and then I get to mock them on my site. Everyone wins, really. Take house sellers, for example - they know that people are coming around to see their houses and at what time, and the idea is to get you, the buyer, interested in purchasing their homes. Easy. So why is it that out of the two houses we've seen, both homeowners presented us with messy, unkept dwellings and expected us to fork over �150,000? I'm telling you, the House Doctor would be appalled. One of my favourite UK Style programmes, the "House Doctor" is a Californian woman called Ann who comes into your house and explains why it's not selling, then tarts it all up for you ("staging" they call it). It all makes perfect sense - people see these houses first time around (and truly, these places are pretty dire), then come back after she's added some paint, removed clutter, hosed the place down with Mr. Clean, and then they love it. House 1 wasn't too terrible, but please, hide the kitty litter before buyers come round. House 2 was rather horrible; a stale smoke-smelling house that hadn't been looked after or loved in a very long time. All it really needed was a good clean, some fresh paint, and maybe some kind of flooring in the upstairs bathroom. I kid you not, it was only partially covered by an ill-fitting piece of brown vinyl. Yum. The fact is, it takes so little to make a house so much more appealing. We are seeing house 3 this weekend hopefully, which happens to be across the road from the one today and looks much more loved. I'm telling you, when Paul sells his house it's going to look faaaantastic - thanks to watching several hundred hours of UK Style. And people say TV teaches us nothing. Hah.

Paul's TiVo (or "Mr. Tivo" as I like to call it) will be coming to live with me this weekend, and I'm all agog. TiVo is absolutely brilliant for people like me who a) have certain programmes they don't want to miss and b) have the short term memory of a goldfish. TiVo will remember all my programmes for me, record them, then cheerfully suggest other programmes that I should watch that are usually completely unrelated. It'll let me rewind live television for those moments when my mind drifts or I need to pee, and I have to go back to see what I've missed. Ah, TiVo. What can't you do?

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