Monday 7 February 2005

wake me when i'm in labour

It's been a tough, stressful week. It's been a stressful couple of months really, what with the insane work deadlines and trying to make sure I had everything wrapped up before I went on leave. So it wasn't that surprising when everything seemed to catch up with me yesterday. I stood in the shower and suddenly felt faint; my breathing laboured (no pun intended), I leaned forward against the wall and turned the water temperature down. I got out and towelled myself off, and felt the familiar pains of heartburn travelling up my throat. I hadn't slept well the night before because my hips and legs become very painful after lying on one side for a couple of hours, and of course the three or four trips to the loo don't help either (especially when just hauling myself up to go to the loo hurts in places I never knew had nerve endings). I have been getting more contractions, but they feel more like period pains now rather than the involuntary tightening sensations I've been feeling up to this point.

I got dressed, wrapped a towel around my head, curled up on our bed and cried. Paul found me sobbing into the pillow as I told him that I was just so fed up with feeling like crap. Something always hurts or is uncomfortable, or I'm too tired or out of breath to perform even the most simple tasks. I used to love being pregnant, but now the anticipation/anxiety of giving birth and the general discomfort of being hugely pregnant overshadows this. Paul, as usual, made me feel much better after letting me vent and sniffle all over him.

Considering I've had very few "hormonal moments" in the past nine months, I'm not doing too badly. Everyone will tell you that the last few weeks are hard (which probably doesn't help, but at least you know that you're not alone) and everyone will also tell you that it's all worth it. Which, of course, it is. It's just getting to the baby in my arms bit that's dragging me down. In the meantime, I'll be under my duvet eating cookies if you want me.

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