Wednesday 29 March 2006

reasons why i never joined any mother/baby groups #563

I talk to Jack all the time (usually about totally nonsensical things), whether we're at home or roaming about in public. This I have no problem with. What never ceases to perplex me are mothers who talk at their kids in a non-stop, high-volumed frenzy. I kept encountering a woman and her small baby at Tesco the other day. The one-way conversation went something like this: "You like that kind of formula, don't you? Yes you do! Shall we try another one today? Yes? Shall we? Shall we give it a try? Look at those dresses! Aren't they pretty! You like dresses, don't you? Oh yes you do! Dresses are pretty!" at the speed of someone who just mainlined 12 litres of espresso, talking to someone with potatoes wedged in their ears. The baby was around 3 months old and probably not getting a lot out of the conversation, and the mother was turning blue from not taking a breath for twenty minutes. Frankly, if I was an infant, I'd be rather frightened by the whole thing.

Kids need to be spoken to - this is how they acquire language - and need attention. Kudos to mums and dads who involve their children in what they're doing and maintain that all-important running commentary. But please, enough of the manic, demented children's television presenter shouting.

Your children will thank you...if they can get a word in edgewise.

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