gosh, just look at the time
October 1st came and went without me noticing - I arrived in this country 5 years ago on that date, a poor peasant girl with only 10p in her pocket and a bagful of dreams. Well, actually, I arrived with a work permit, a couple of suitcases full of essentials, and some Canadian credit cards that were about to take a beating...but I digress. The point is, I can now apply for British citizenship for a large sum of money, some paperwork, and a few months of waiting around for someone at the Home Office to type up a nice letter of some sort. Since I need my passport to go home in December, I won't apply until the new year. You people can be thankful for the moment that you have one less person wandering around with a British passport and a weird accent.
Once I become a citizen, I shall immerse myself in all things British and attempt to assimilate myself into this great culture. I will speak with a fake accent (haven't decided on a region yet), ensuring that all sentences end with things like "What, ho!" and "Innit?" No longer will I use the forbidden words such as cookie, garbage, trunk, and jazzercise. I will hang net curtains in all of our windows, carpet every square foot of the house, and develop an intense interest in gardening. I will complain endlessly about things, but when approached by someone who can actually amend the situation, I will say that I'm fine, thank you ever so much. All conversations will commence with a discussion about the weather. All occasions will be accompanied by beer. In fact, it's a lot like being Canadian but with a different accent and less snow.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to brush up on my British knowledge for my citizenship test. Does anyone know how many episodes have aired of "Eastenders"?
No comments:
Post a Comment