Blog From A Broad

in space, no one can hear you sneeze



I woke up this morning feeling a lot like John Hurt in "Alien" when he had an alien stuck to his face. There is an invisible, evil entity that has affixed itself to my sinuses, and the only way to dislodge it is to throw Tylenol Sinus tablets at it.



If I blow my nose much more, it'll drop off my face like an old fig. I have to nap every few hours, I'm cranky, and I've only eaten bland foods for the past two days. I'm either turning into an infant, or an 80 year old - not sure which yet. Daytime television is starting to make me break out into hives. I've watched Ricki, Sally, Montel, Oprah, Trisha, and reruns of the Bionic Woman (okay, that was cool). My ears are plugged up. I've been in pyjamas since Wednesday. My lips are really dry. My throat hurts.



Help.