Tuesday 2 March 2004


I don't know if I'm a worrier by nature, but I do know that I think too much. In my younger years, I tended to dive into most anything head first without a second thought (I still do this sometimes) but now I plan. Whether or not I actually stick to those plans is another matter entirely, but I do plan. I don't like to be surprised unless it involves an enormous diamond ring, winning lottery numbers, or George Clooney popping out of a birthday cake. It's probably strange to make plans for babies we haven't even conceived yet, but it makes me feel better; more prepared somehow. On the downside, it also means that I am starting to fret about things that are a long way off yet.

I am still in a quandary about the whole working/not working/working part time thing. All I can do is save up for any maternity leave now and just see how I feel when the time comes.

I'm on day 18 of my cycle and there's been no temperature shift yet. I promised myself that I wouldn't turn into a maniac about charting (I've seen enough obsessed people's messages on various pregnancy web boards to deter me), but it is a bit disheartening. I have a fear that years of being on the pill, my current age, and my wonky cycles as a teen/young adult means that ovulation is unpredictable. Or nonexistent.

I'm going to be 35 at the end of this month. I didn't really care about that until I realised that by the time we're ready for baby #2, it might be too late. I'm not even sure how long it'll be before we start trying for baby #1. And then how long it'll be before baby #1 is born after x months of trying. Gaaaaaaahhhh! *tick tick tick tick tick tick tick*

Otherwise, I'm peachy thanks.

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