i'm just weird like that
In my lovely, lovely antenatal yoga class last night (did I mention that it's lovely?), we were talking about labour at various points. The teacher and I have both had home births, one lady is hoping for a home birth for her first baby, and the other had her first with the help of syntocin/oxytocin and is pregnant with #2. So at one point, we were straddled on chairs leaning over the back and I mentioned that I laboured like this (didn't mention that I was screaming the house down at the time, so as not to alarm newbie mummy.) I said that it was really comfy and worked well because Paul could rub my back during contractions. Then we had a conversation about pushing. Lady who is pregnant with #2 said she couldn't tell how/when to push and explained because she had been given syntocin, she was told to push by midwives (despite not feeling the need.) I said how the pushing phase actually felt really good; a huge relief because you feel like you're working with the contractions. I told her that maybe if she's left to labour naturally, she might experience the urge to bear down next time. She sort of laughed when I said pushing felt good and said, "That's because you seem to actually LIKE giving birth!"
Actually, despite the pain and screaming (I read my birth story from time to time to remind myself that it wasn't all roses because Birth Amnesia tends to do this), I really did love giving birth. I'm very excited about doing it again, despite how mad that sounds. The anticipation of labour, the first few contractions, getting everything ready...I really can't wait. I think having had such a positive birth has given me a huge amount of confidence going into this one, and remembering the sheer joy and elation of Mia being born is something I am eager to experience again.
But first, I look forward to going on maternity leave, afternoon naps, and wandering aimlessly around shops on my own. Two more months...