Blog From A Broad

who NOT TO book for your child's party

We went to a party yesterday for one of Jack's nursery friends, and they had hired a magician to perform. At the beginning of the show, I had to take Jack to the loo and when I returned, I caught the end of a conversation involving the magician telling off some mums for talking during his performance. At a CHILDREN'S PARTY. For which HE is being PAID to perform.

It gets better.

One of the mums and I started chatting very quietly, leaning in close to each other because I had a very difficult time hearing her as we tried to keep our voices down. I then noticed the room had fallen silent, and turned to see the magician staring at us with the dirtiest look I'd ever received in my life. He had actually stopped the show to berate us, patronisingly asking us if we would "like to join in now." The child's mother looked at us in horror and embarrassment, and the other parents looked at us with a mixture of shock and laughter at the absurdity of the situation. At another point, another group of mums started chatting quietly at the back of the room, and this time he said "And now for our next trick IF THE MUMS IN THE BACK WOULD ALL STOP CHATTING" with a glare.

Now the thing is, normally I'm not one to hold my tongue. My instinct was to smack this asshole with my very large handbag and give him a piece of my mind. But because he kept doing it during the performance in front of our children, I didn't want to be rude. And after the show, I didn't want to further embarrass the hosting mum by having a go at the guy she'd hired to entertain the kids. So gracefully, I let him off - but not without ensuring that I get the word out that this guy should be avoided like the plague.

Do not, even in your most desperate moment, hire a guy called Billy Banana Children's Entertainer (AKA Peter Ashley) at http://www.billybanana.com/ phone number (01353) 649595. I'm not quite sure how he stays in business, but generally it's a bad idea to completely humiliate and piss off potential customers. Just a tip for you, Billy.