Thursday 3 August 2006

do you know the muffin woman?

I learn some great colloquialisms from Heat magazine, the latest of which is "muffin tops". This is the condition in which your jeans are slightly too tight and all of your fat squishes up and spills over the top of the waistband, giving you the appearance of a muffin. I laughed heartily when I read this phrase until one day, I saw the muffin staring back at me in the mirror. It's like someone left me too long to rise and my doughy middle has exploded in protest. If you poke my tummy, I make a "hee hee!" noise.

Perhaps I should forego cake Friday from now on. And maybe not eat the giant box of chocolates sitting on my desk. Or go to America for two weeks in October.

I'm doomed.

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