throwing fun-sized chocolate bars







WoooooOOOOOooooooooooo! It's Halloween, which can only mean one thing - I'm gonna be stuffing myself with little tiny chocolate bars all weekend long (I may have inadvertently bought a few too many for any potential trick or treaters this evening). *cough*



I've thoroughly enjoyed all the comments from my previous post, and will eventually come up with a list of films I've enjoyed. In keeping with the Halloween theme...



Nine Horror Films* That Didn't Make Me Shout at the Main Characters and Actually Had a Good Storyline:

• Carrie - I first saw this film on television when a babysitter let me stay up late. I was so frightened by it that when I went to the bathroom afterwards, I was convinced that a bloody hand was going to reach up and grab me (for those of you who haven't seen this film, this relates to the final scene). You can spot a Brian dePalma film a mile away (he's a big fan of using split screens), but he has a knack for creating some of the spookiest images on screen. Look for the scene when Carrie's in the bath after she returns from the prom, and note her mother standing behind the door as she closes it. It's a very quick shot, but incredibly unsettling. Dressed to Kill is another great dePalma creation.
  
  
• The Exorcist - Okay, I admit that there are scenes in this film that make me giggle when I watch them now (particularly the scene where Linda Blair is prancing up and down on her bed chanting "Lick me! Lick me!", but maybe that's just my juvenile sense of humour), but I think this is one of the scariest films ever made. You'll see a theme with my list of scary films; most of them involve religion. I find films about demons or with religious images to be extremely disturbing, which is odd considering that I didn't come from a religious background. It's the "quieter" scenes that I find most frightening - particularly the scene where the priest is listening to Regan speaking in tongues on his tape recorder.
  
  
• The Shining - The parody of this film was on last night's rerun of the Simpsons, which is a must see if you enjoyed the original. It's not Jack going insane nor Shelly Duval's chain smoking terror that frightens me, it's Kubrik's talent for putting together vividly unsettling images. Those twin girls will give you the willies for days after seeing The Shining.
  
  
• Poltergeist - Again, there are scenes in this film that make me laugh out loud now, but when I was 11 and saw this film for the first time, I almost cacked myself when that clown doll came to life. I HATE films where inanimate objects come to life and start wreaking havoc. I like this film because it's got a creative plot (talk about your child getting lost in television - literally), some clever lines, and for its time, decent effects.
  
  
• Nightmare on Elm Street - The sequels were beyond inane, but the original was rather clever. It's a good story with a delightfully malevolent villain. Plus, it's got a very young Jonny Depp for comedic value.
  
  
• Jaws - Not really a horror film per se, but this film scared the life out of me when I was a kid. My Dad thought it would be really funny to joke that Jaws Jr. lived in our swimming pool, however that summer no one would come over to swim and I was terrified of the deep end for months afterwards. It's tense. It's bloody. It started a trend of really bad sequels (anyone go see the 3D sequel? I did.), but this still has the ability to keep you on the edge of your sofa.
  
  
• Amityville Horror - I mentioned that I am frightened by films with scary religious themes, inanimate objects coming to life, and this genre: hauntings. Especially films about hauntings that are supposedly based on a true story. I will never forget the glowing red eyes. Brrrrrrrrr.
  
  
• Sixth Sense - An excellent plot twist, a film in which Bruce Willis is actually bearable, and a fantastic script. I couldn't sleep after seeing this film; the thought of dead people popping up around the house kept me awake for hours. What a shame that Unbreakable and Signs paled in comparison.
  
  
• The Omen - Again with the scary demonic horror films. An absolute classic (and originator of many 666/Damien jokes) starring one creepy kid and one of the scariest soundtracks ever.
  
  

*keeping in mind that I haven't seen many horror films in the last 5 years or so.

throwing tomatoes



Johnathan Ross has asked us to list the worst films ever. I usually rate a film's horribleness by something I call the "Plane Factor": if it's so awful that I won't even watch it on a long haul flight, it must really, really suck.



Nine Films That Failed the Plane Factor:

• XXX - Vin Diesel in the dullest action film ever. I opted to watch the channel that shows the flight's altitude, speed, and external temperature for 2 hours instead.
  
  
• Daredevil - I'm starting to think that anything Ben Affleck touches turns into a diva with a large caboose, or a very bad film. I believe reruns of Cheers and sports news won out over this one.
  
  
• The Blair Witch Project - Perhaps the back of the airline seat in front of you is not the best screening medium for this film. Still, I think the sign of a bad horror film is when a) it makes you giggle and b) you utter a small "Yay!" every time a main character gets bumped off.
  
  
• Titanic - 2 1/2 hours of mindless drivel combined with a theme song by Celine Dion. There is nothing more sinister and tortuous on this earth.
  
  
• The Avengers - I am a huge fan of the original series and I love Uma Thurman. This film was truly awful. Truly. If this was showing on a flight, I would have grabbed a parachute and headed for the nearest emergency exit.
  
  
• Unbearable Lightness of Being - Or as I like to call it, "The Unbearable Length of a Film". I couldn't even make it through the book. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy many lengthy arty films ("Camille Claudel" is one of them) but this one is painful.
  
  
• Jacob's Ladder - I saw this film for free and I still felt ripped off afterwards. It's one of those films that makes you say to your cinema companion, "What the flaming hell was that about?"
  
  
• Tomb Raider - Not even Angelina Jolie's incredibly pert boobies could keep me watching this film. It's been shown on two flights with two different airlines I've been on, and it was on television recently. I still haven't made it all the way through to the end.
  
  
• Moulin Rouge - I wanted to like this film. It had Ewan McGregor in it. It looked luscious but was too corny to digest.
  
  

What's on your worst film list?

boo!



The tradition of trick or treating has slowly made its way across the pond. We don't expect many kids to come round this Friday night, but I'll go get some little chocolate bars just in case. Otherwise, it'll mean handing out Oxo cubes, bags of microwave popcorn, and packages of instant oatmeal, and I have a feeling that wouldn't be terribly popular with the kids. We're also going to carve a pumpkin, and I will be introducing Paul to the North American culinary delight known as roasted pumpkin seeds. It is my mission to frighten the English with our odd pumpkin-related Autumnal cuisine.



Although extremely tempted to dress up our dog as "Jasper The Friendly Ghost" for Halloween, I shall refrain.

words fail me



When something tragic happens to someone you care about, your immediate instinct is to do or say something that will help somehow. But this is futile because it's impossible to find the words to express how heartbroken you feel for this person and there's nothing you can do to make things better. We end up feeling useless (especially when you have to resort to impersonal communication like emails) and you really wish that you could wrap your arms around this person until the tears are gone.



I feel so lucky that I've never had to go through such pain, but I feel so awful that there's nothing I can do. Except be here.

easy peasy



I have a confession to make. I ate mushy peas yesterday and enjoyed them. And I wasn't even drunk at the time. Granted, they were mixed together with a bunch of other things so they weren't that apparent. I made Silvana Franco's mushy pea fishcakes last night, and they really weren't half bad. A spoonful of mint jelly and a tin of mushy peas are mixed into mashed potatoes, then poached haddock is flaked into the mixture. This is formed into patties, dusted with flour, dipped in egg, and then coated in seasoned breadcrumbs. Fry for about 2-3 minutes on each side until golden brown, and serve with lemon mayonnaise (and with chunky chips, of course).



Whilst searching for information on mushy peas, I came across this story. I thought stuff like that only happened in cartoons.

bouncing baby boy



Just so you know what I was going on about in Monday's post, here's a picture of Aidan in his bouncy jumpy chairy thingy.







(Photo courtesy of Aidan's Mummy and Daddy)

mythology 101



Before I begin today's post, I feel the need to clear up two things. One: sushi is not raw fish. It's like saying every sandwich has to be ham and cheese. Sushi means yummy sticky rice, sometimes wrapped in stuff, with other stuff in it or on top of it. Two: I don't hate cats; I'm just allergic to them. I've known some very fine cats in my time, and most of them aren't evil creatures who are secretly forming plots for world domination and only love you for your ability to provide food.



Ah, I feel better now. Thank you.



One of the most entertaining things I've seen for ages was Micky and Susan's little one Aidan in his bouncy chair. It's a very clever little device that you hook to the top of a doorframe (like a vice grip) with a seat suspended from elasticized straps. The baby sits in the chair and can bounce him/herself up and down for hours on end. What's even more fun is watching your dog watching a baby bouncing up and down in this thing. I'm sure he was thinking how similar it looked to the fun ball on a rope he likes to swing around in our garden, except on a much larger scale. Luckily, Aidan wasn't mistaken for a chew toy at any point during the afternoon.