your questions answered



Once again, I have poured through my usage statistics and taken note of particular search strings leading to this site. I shall attempt to answer some of the questions that bring you to my site, with the hope that I can provide some sort of insight to you, my beloved readers. It's in the spirit of the holiday season, an' all that.



1. what kind of life incanada how they spend the time canadian?

Judging by the lack of spaces and punctuation in this query, I'm guessing that this Googler was so keen to gain any knowledge about Canada, good sentence structure went right out the window. Good for you, Googler! Life in Canada, for me, was good. A little chilly, but good. We spend our time just like anyone else, except with more beer, ice hockey, and swearing in two official languages.



2. why do dogs make funny noises when they are asleep?

I've come to the conclusion that dogs do it to freak out their owners. Not only do they make funny noises, they twitch and spasm like they're going into convulsions, and sometimes sleep with their eyes open (usually staring right at you while they twitch and make funny noises). I am also convinced that our dog belches deliberately whenever I happen to be very close to his face.



3. how to hard boil an egg?

One: boil water in a pan. Two: put egg in water, turn down heat slightly. Three: let sit in gently boiling water for about 11 minutes. Four: remove from water and let cool slightly before peeling 'cos it'll be really, really hot. Five: try to enjoy hard boiled egg regardless of the bellowing laughter from your partner who can't believe that you don't know how to hard boil an egg.

a taste of home



It's official - several Britons agree that tourtiere is darn tasty. I went all Delia and put a doughy holly decoration on top (god help me).







The holidays have been fab and a lot of fun, spent eating and drinking far too much and seeing lots of friends and family. The most beautiful present I received was a diamond and white gold necklace from Paul. The most hilarious (and slightly frightening) present I received was a book from my Mom and Dad called "About My Dog", which is very similar to a baby record book. Although there is no page in which to insert his first lock of shed hair or his first lost baby tooth, it does allow you to record all sorts of information that only the nuttiest of pet owners would seriously log. My favourite Christmas photo so far is this one of Paul's niece Polly. I love it because it sums her up perfectly that day, following me and constantly asking me "What are you doing?" with that inquisitive look on her face. Oh and this photo as well because it reminds me of the Grinch's dog Max when he straps the reindeer antlers to his head (another gift courtesy of Mom and Dad).



We've still got another week off and a lot of leftover chocolate to get through. Somehow, I think we'll survive.

have yourself a merry little christmas



Have a fab holiday and may lots of good stuff happen to you in 2004. :)



Festive smoochies,

The broad, her bloke, and the dawg

xx

it's the most wonderful time of the year



Everyone decided to go to Tesco yesterday. That is, everyone who is a) midly brain damaged and/or had a common sense-ectomy b) clinically insane or c) over the age of 102. People abandoned their trolleys in the middle of aisles as if they suddenly remembered that their houses were on fire. Those who didn't abandon their trolleys used them as battering rams to push their way through the crowds. For some bizarre reason, everyone was in the cheese aisle. It was refreshingly quiet in the gluten-free food section, so I took refuge there for a few moments. I said "oh, excuse me" sarcastically when people shoved into me (that's how rude us Canadians get, really). I did deep breathing exercises to calm down and stop myself from throwing packages of pitted dates at the next person who stopped in front of me for no apparent reason.



Christmas is my favourite time of the year. I just don't know it until it's all over.

ho, ho, ho



I'm all set. Got my tourtiere recipe (thank you Maggie and Terry!). Got my food shopping list done. Have eaten way too much junk food in the past two days, and I don't care. Am feeling splendidly merry without the aid of red wine or a gin and tonic. Spent lunchtime hugging Jasper and telling him that he's the best puppy in the world (including such clever snippets of conversation as "Who's the puppy? You are, Jaspey!"). Have hung the Christmas cards up on a pretty red ribbon on the French doors.



It must be Christmas. Or I'm going a little bit loopy.



Does anyone in North America remember a commercial from about 10 years ago for Cornflakes, where kids leave a bowl out for Santa? The little girl (a la Cindy Lou Hoo) wakes up to discover Santa eating the Cornflakes and she whispers "Shhhh. Ho, ho, ho!" to him and goes back to sleep. They are airing this ad now in the UK, dubbed with the voices of English children who have spent too much time in bad acting schools. No, seriously. It's bizarre.



So spray on the fake snow, hang up your stockings, deck them halls, and steam your puddings. I'm outta here until January 5, and I couldn't be giddier (I will be away from work, but will undoubtedly fit in some time for blogging over the hols). Let the countdown to the end of the work day begin...

sorted



We want to see Lord of the Rings: Return of the King tomorrow, but we can only see it after work. This is a bit of a problem because this would mean leaving Jasper alone for too long. My friend Paul G. came up with the following solution:

"bring him - I am fairly sure that he will really enjoy it - mind you - make sure to give him all of the back story first - otherwise he might get a little lost and bored - which would likely result with him chewing the seat apart and taking out all of the stuffing. if he saw the second one he is good to go - just dress him up like a hairy little kid and it will be no problem - buy him a glass of ice and he will be happy as a clam."



Fantastic - I'm booking for two adults and one child right now.

festive blockage



"Thames Water estimates that the annual yuletide feast of turkey, goose, beef, and ham leads to a 25% increase in the amount of fat ending up down the drain."



Mmmmm. Drain drippings.