| blog from a broad |
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*offer not valid in Quebec. Pictures of the House of Lisa here. Dressing Up for the Carnival - Carol Shields From "The Royal Tenenbaums" soundtrack: Let's go back to my playlist from a couple of years ago, shall we? Blur - Song 2 Luscious Jackson - "Ladyfingers" Last rented - "Enigma" and "The Score" lisa@wittydomainname.com Billegible about me 
Monthly archives:  Comments by: YACCS |
april 30
2:16 PM how...interesting What could you possibly say to a gift like this? Thanks to Jack for the giggle.
Just rang NTL. Ordered digital telly. I'm never leaving the house ever again. I've got until May 18th. before I become a hermit. Make that May 3rd. when I get the Gamecube. They tried to talk me into getting broadband, but I resisted. Man, if it wasn't for the fact that I leave the house to go to work, there'd be a danger of turning into one of those crazed loners. If you see me writing what looks like a manifesto, send in the troops. It's odd because I never watched much television before. I had cable in Montreal, and it was such a waste of money as I only really watched maybe two programmes a week. Maybe it's the quality of British television that's got me hooked; there are so many good shows on that I've been following. I'm by no means a television snob - I know people who sniff at the mere mention of it and haughtily proclaim that they do not own a television. I like good television programmes, and even the schlock sometimes for that matter - I'm not ashamed to admit it. One of the things that's unique about Britain is that there are only 5 channels (to see any others, you need digital or satellite). It sort of brings the nation together because we're united by the fact that we're all watching the same things. You can go into work the next day and ask your workmates "Did you see Louis Theroux last night?" and everyone will join in on the conversation. It's kind of cool, really. So am I a sad gitette because I'm excited about my upcoming Gamecube and digital telly? Don't answer that; it's hypothetical, ya twonks. I do yoga and pilates, I watch interesting independent films, I'm starting a compost heap for my garden, I quit smoking, I don't eat red meat, and I read a lot. It all balances out the hours I'll be spending shooting things in the Star Wars game and watching the Big Brother house on E4 this summer. Well that's my theory, anyway. I believe that I'm going through an "I can afford fun toys and I'm going to indulge myself" phase. And why not? I can't sit here doing Ashtanga yoga and nibbling carrot sticks all day long, can I?
Bored. Hung over. Tired. Nowt to do. Wish I had a Gamecube.
Oh wait - yes, I will do this again. This Friday, in fact. Wine and Chinese food, a deadly combination. I don't drink beer (I've tried to like the taste, honest) but oh do I like wine...and food. I start the week with the best intentions: eat sensibly, workout, and get enough sleep. On Mondays, I'm all raring to go. By Thursday, I've officially lost interest. By Friday, we're down at the pub and I'm eating a veggie cooked breakfast. Friday nights and/or Saturdays I'm eating and drinking for England. On Sundays, I'm regretting the past couple of days and eating properly again. My body must hate me. Today, I will be mostly drinking water and moving very slowly.
Wheeeeee I passed my scooting thingy and now I know how to do all sorts of funky scoot tricks. Well, not really "tricks"; I can now do stuff like emergency stops in the rain and U turns. I am a very happy and relieved bunny, and very much looking forward to a night out with the gang. We're saying farewell to the smashingly fabulous Blair who will be moving up north to gorgeous Edinburgh. Jealous, I am! He's a very nice guy and he will be missed. Gotta shuffle off and get myself all prettied up. Oh how I cannot wait to get my hands on a glass of wine. Mmmmmm.
I'm rather nervous about my CBT tomorrow. I'm sure it's pretty tame, but it's a test and that always makes me nervous. It's also a pain to get to the test centre, and I'm scooting in unfamiliar territory. I used to be so much braver when I was a young pup. Now I think too much and make myself worry. Starting to sound like Bridget Jones again. Not VG. Funniest (unintentionally) thing written on someone's going away card:
Curse you, Dave! He mentioned this "ghost hunters" site, and I took a peek. I read through a lot of it without being bothered too much, and then I got to this page. There was a programme on TV about this one night, and it scared the holy bejeezus outta me. Sitting here by myself, in a very old English cottage, I listened to these sounds and had to turn all the lights on and put on a sweater. GAH! Needless to say, I've never seen any orbs in any pictures I've taken of the house (you can see pics of every room from the link in the left menu) so I suppose this place isn't haunted...I hope. I'll fetch the Mystery Van. Rokay Raggy! Is it mean to find this funny? On this site, they give a list of "protocols" you should follow when taking ghostie pictures. One of them is: "Ask the spirits of the dead for permission to take their photos." Sorry, that just made me giggle. Okay, now back to turning around every 3 minutes to make sure there isn't a murderous ghoul creeping up on me.
My mate Chris and I will be scampering off to buy Gamecubes on or just after May 3 when they come out. Hoooo weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee yeah baby yeah! I'll never leave the house again! Now you have to understand, I haven't bought any sort of gaming console since my Super Nintendo a billion years ago. I don't really own any PC games (I only ever really got into Myst and games of that ilk), so I'm not what you'd call a geeky game junkie. Oh, but I want a Gamecube. Now. Mmmmmmm. In other non-geeky, non-technical related news, big happy thoughts going out to Heather who's got to do some sort of weird ass PhD defense thingy tomorrow. Um...wot's it called? Anyway, that thing starting with a v that you've got to do before they grant you your PhD. I totally respect the woman, not only for getting her PhD from Cambridge, but for doing her thesis on Quebecois literature - and she's a Kiwi! Festivities have been planned for the evening, starting at the lovely Fort St. George pub on the banks of the Cam. Mmmmmmmm. I go for my CBT (Compulsory Basic Training) on Saturday so that I can get a wee piece of paper that says I've been trained to drive my scoot. I don't actually need it (you can drive anything less than 50 CCs on a regular driver's license), but I think it's a good idea to learn a few things and take the test. Incidentally, I've discovered that if I drive right in the middle of the lane, people don't tend to drive into me. I think that after riding my bicycle every day, I got used to keeping to the far right and drove the scooter like that as well, which made cars think that I'm a bicycle going 10mph. I notice now that drivers treat me more like a vehicle that's meant to be on the road with them, which is a good thing. My Amazon goodies arrived today. Mmmmmmm. Of course now that I've invested in a bench, free weights, a yoga and a pilates video, I've been informed that there is, in fact, a gym in my general area. Doh. Maybe I'll join up for the classes and cardio stuff. It's kind of cool - it used to be a piggery. Now that's got to motivate you to burn off the extra blubber.
So this morning I'm walking to work past the garage that's just two doors down from me, and one of the mechanics says, "Scooter died again, eh?". Needless to say, he was pretty amused when I told him that I had to ditch the scoot at work because I was out last night. So later this morning I get an email from a recruiter telling me about this great role in Cambridge, and would I like to send in my CV? Yes, it's for my job that I will be vacating in less than two weeks.
Hung over. Need more tea. Too old to be doing this going out on a weeknight malarky. New songs added to the left menu. Am getting sleepy. Sleeeeepy.
Found the lost Friday posts. Try to contain yourselves.
Plus side: the cold is almost completely gone so I can work out again. Down side: I'm in agony. Feel the burn? Feel THIS. Ouch. Um...this is supposed to be good for you, right? Right?
A day off + bored Lisa + Internet access + credit card = Dangerous. At least my purchases tend to be limited to books, CDs, DVDs, and groceries from Tescos. I decided that I needed a book on how to garden and lo, right on the front of the Amazon.co.uk site is an advert for Alan Titchmarsh's "How to Be a Gardener Book One". Fantastic! Half off the cover price! Brilliant! Oh but the fun doesn't stop there. I've decided to get yoga and pilates videos so I can do these exercises at home as I'll be giving up the gym membership this month. No, I did NOT get Geri Yoga, thank you very much. Oooh and while I'm at it, I should really pick up The Royal Tenenbaums soundtrack because I've been meaning to get it. Hellllllllp.
I was just reading on Dean's page that he checked this page while on holiday in Spain at an Internet cafe, and left it on the screen. So, a big "Hola!" to my Spanish amigos who are undoubtedly flocking to my site as a result. Hee hee!
Ah, poo. I've nuked Friday's rant about motorists by mistake (but saw your comments - thanks Little Jen and Dean!). Curse you, Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim! Okay, Jim had nothing to do with it but I felt the need to include him in today's post so he doesn't feel left out. Speaking of the cursed Jim, I'm very happy to report that the evil cold is almost completely gone now. Hurrah! Of course now my hayfever has started to act up on me... We had gorgeous weather yesterday and today. Pictures from yesterday's excursion to Constable country (as in the artist, not a policeman) can be seen here. Pictures from three weeks ago from a trip out to Audley End (a big ass house in Cambridgeshire) can be seen here. You know what's fun about knowing sod all about gardening? I'm always so pleasantly surprised when something is suddenly in bloom. I have no idea what's in my garden (although I'm not so pathetic that I couldn't identify the palm tree and the climbing rose), so I've no clue what's supposed to flower and what isn't. I was out there this afternoon digging and weeding away (undoubtedly digging up stuff that's actually supposed to be there) and I'm kind of excited to see how it'll all look as we get into late Spring and Summer. What can I say, I'm a city girl.
Rightyo, might as well do the Friday Five as I'm bored as all get out.
Due to special circumstances (i.e the purchase of one pint of orange juice and lemonade), Jim will not be cursed today. I may also not be able to curse Jim over the weekend on this web site, but I will be thinking curseful thoughts as long as this cold continues. Thank you.
If you find drivers irritating as a cyclist, you'll find them even more annoying as a scooterist. Since scooting back and forth to work, I've discovered:
Don't really have anything to say today, but I must raise my fist and shout out "Curse you Jiiiiiiim!" as I still have this hideous cold. Hmmm that was more fun to do in person, actually. Ah, but he loves being mentioned on my page every day. Is it time for pub lunch yet?
Bored of that bog standard calculator that comes with Windows? Tired of number crunching on your Texas Instrument? Then have I got something for you. You definitely need sound for this one and you probably want to wear headphones if you're at work. (Courtesy of Jim who is keeping me entertained and who will not be cursed by me anymore...today)
Can't think of a gift for that special someone? Click here and wonder no more.
...sick and bored. Hey, ever wondered what you can do with all that Kraft Dinner lying around the house? This guy has loads of ideas! I particularly like the bonus recipe using the Mr. Noodles soup - god, no matter how drunk I got, I'd never be able to ingest that. Egad, it's part of the Kraft Dinner Worship Ring, no less. "One ring, to rule them all..."
I'm at home hacking up a lung. In keeping with recent tradition, I shall now raise my fist, shake it, and exclaim "Curse you, Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiim!". Thank you.
Well, it's nice to know that I'm not alone - out of a team of 10 people, 5 of us are off with this evil cold and at least 1 other said he was coming down with it yesterday. Curse you, Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim!! Now I'm at the point where I'm bored silly but too ill to do anything interesting. I don't mind being at home, but I hate being trapped at home. It's a lovely day, so I shall go sit outside and read brainless magazines that tell me how to tone my skin and walk my way to a better bum in 30 days. Oh yes, and before I forget, I've decided that "The Nose and Whistle" would also make a good name for a pub.
The comments on my last entry got me thinking - are there any anti-Canadian sentiments in films or television? I did a quick Google search and came up with a Simpsons reference where children are instructed to speak more slowly to Canadian children (I had to laugh at that one), and of course South Park and all their Terrence and Phillip stuff. Otherwise, the only thing I can think of that's ever offended my Canadian self is the godawful Candadian impression that Bruce Willis does in "The Jackal". He puts on some bizarre Fargo-esque accent and ends every line with "eh?" with this half stunned expression on his face. Any others?
I am a desparate woman. I need sleep. Maybe I'm just really weird (don't answer that) but I cannot sleep if I can't breathe through my nose; it drives me right round the bend. I do alternate nostril breathing in yoga, but I do NOT want to do that all feckin night long while I try to sleep! To cap it all, I had a whistle in my nose earlier today and every time I breathed, all I could hear was "fweeeeeee fweeeeeeee fweeeeeeeeeeeee". Well, at least at the moment I can breathe through my left nostril and my nose has stopped summoning neighbourhood dogs. This is the sort of blog entry that can only be chalked up under "I've got a web site and I'll post whatever I want to, no matter how ridiculously inane it is". I wonder how many Google hits I'm going to get for "nose+whistle" now?
I am so congested that I feel like an alien is going to burst out of my face at any minute. I slept maybe 2 hours last night because I had to keep blowing my nose every few minutes so I could breathe. That's it, I'm getting myself over to the pharmacy and investing in some serious decongestants. Curse you, Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim!! For all you coffeeaholics out there, can someone please answer this question for me: how much coffee do you use in a Bodum/French press? Is it still one scoop for every 2 cups? My Bodum doesn't have a little measuring thingy on the side, so I don't actually know how many cups it holds. I'll have to measure it out with mugs at some point. I've always had automatic drip coffee makers, so this whole frou-frou Bodum thing is new to me. I don't drink coffee, but I wanted to know how to use it in case someone comes over who does. Answers on a postcard, please.
Jim breathed all over my desk and gave me this bad cold, I just know it. Curse you, Jiiiiiiim!! *shakes fist* My point from yesterday's post was that I felt like my life got a billion times more depressing when looking at it from a singleton's perspective. My solo holiday in the Lakes suddenly seemed a lot more pathetic, and my boring "had nothing planned" weekend felt a lot sadder. Normally, I would feel like I wasn't being a saddo for doing things by myself or having nothing to do; I was simply doing something independently which was a good thing. Other more exciting things would happen in the future because I had someone to do things with. As a singleton, it all seemed really depressing. It just struck me how "smug" I had felt being in a relationship, if that makes any sense. Maybe it doesn't and you just gotta be me to know what I was on about. Now there's a scary thought - "Being Lisa MacDonald".
As sad as it is for me to be discussing Bridget Jones, there is something to be said about the concept of being a singleton vs. a smug married person (or smug unavailable). When you're with someone, everything seems a lot less pathetic. You can go to films by yourself because you know that if you wanted to, you could have seen it with your partner. When you're single, you're just a loser going to see a film alone because you don't have a partner. Boring do nothing weekends are okay when you're a smug married because you know there will be upcoming weekends filled with holidays, drives around the countryside, and meals out. Singletons spend boring do nothing weekends weeping into several boxes of Kleenex, rummaging through the fridge looking for chocolate and alcohol, and briefly considering taking up smoking again. Smug marrieds smirk at people who holiday alone, like let's say the bloke at work who's off to the Canaries by himself because he couldn't find anyone to go with. Singletons have to try to book holidays that don't cause others to smirk, selecting destinations that are either going to help finish that great novel you're writing or get away from it all and become one with nature - like let's say a couple of days in the Lake District. All of this while thinking that there's no way you're going to take meals at the hotel because you're going to look like a dork sitting there by yourself. Which reminds me, eating alone: see point above regarding solo film excursions. I need a glass of Chardonnay.
It's the Friday Five: 1. What is your favorite restaurant and why?
I've added Martine's site to my list o' links. I don't normally say something here when I've added someone to the illustrious sidebar, but I wanted to point out how much I like the fact that her blog is bilingual. My French was never stellar to begin with (I can't help it; I'm from Toronto. Don't hate me.), but I did learn quite a bit living in Montreal for 11 years. Of course now I very rarely speak French except when I go home for Christmas and if I happen to be on holiday in France. I'm so chi-chi. Anyway, I really enjoy reading her site and trying to understand as much of the French as I can (and reading the English stuff as well). I always like reading blogs from fellow Montrealers as it reminds me of home, but reading a blog that's also in French just adds another interesting dimension to it all. There's also the fact that any French I encounter this side of the pond is from France; I miss the Quebecois slang and accent. On a similar note, I'd just like to say that I still find it hilarious when Jack shouts out "TABARNACLE!" when he's annoyed at work. You've got to hear it with the Kiwi accent to appreciate it fully.
I seem to have missed a day this week. Yesterday, I was convinced that it was Tuesday then got very confused as to why ER was on. Was it a rerun? Did they switch nights? Took me about 5 minutes to figure out that it was Wednesday. Oddly, I didn't post anything here yesterday so I'm now convinced that I've lost a day. I'm sure alien abduction was involved. I'm checking myself for chip implants later.
The scoot is all better now, having been cleaned up by the nice bike shop man. Apparently it was just really mucky and needed a good clean. I also got a visor for my helmet, which Jack thinks makes me look like the riot police. Fabulous; that's just the look I was going for. They've gone a bit overboard at work today, what with all the hubbub about the Queen Mum. Yes, it's sad that she died and she was a pretty funky old broad, but enough already. We observed a two minute silence at 11.30am and they televised the funeral in one of the conference rooms. Tell me that everyone who attended was actually grief-stricken and not skiving off work. Several major stores shut during the service and the whole country observed the moment of silence. Apparently when the Queen herself buys the farm, we get a day off work. In a similar vein, I told my workmates about the cross on Mount Royal turning purple when the Pope dies. They all laughed but honestly, is it any cornier than all the fuss that's going on about the Queen Mum?
It's all a bit odd.
...post it on the company's Internet site or give it to a bunch of recruiters 'cos I am outta here! Handed in my notice at work today and I am on my way to a lovely job at Citrix in mid-May. I'll still be a tech author (I stay in this field because of the glamour and prestige, plus it gets me lots of chicks) and it'll be just outside of Cambridge. I'm inching my way towards the A1 as I attempt to get closer to the North East. It was really hard to decide if I should take the job or not - I like my workmates a lot (most of them anyway) and I'll definitely miss the laughs. Farewell festivity planning is already in the works. It's a bit odd because I don't actually have the new work permit in my hot little hands. This makes me nervous. I was told that it's been approved, but I'd rather have the paper in front of me right now. Eep. I really hope that the garage picked up my scooter from the front of my house today while I was at work...it ain't there now. Then again, hahahaha to the loser who knicked it as it wasn't even working! Ha, I say! Well, if that's what happened.
Double plus good house party last night. Here are some fun party stats:
We almost bought a domain name, but no one wanted to use their credit card to pay for it. On a similar note, we discovered that there's a site called Convergys sucks, which is rather amusing. It really was a fabulously fun party and it was very nice to hear many compliments about the house. To see some party pictures of people who probably don't mind being seen on the Internet, click here. Click here to see a movie of the scariest housewarming present ever (MPEG format, 1.87 MB) thanks to Reverend Jim.
I'm having my housewarming par-tay tonight, which should be good fun. I've probably got too much food (is that possible with this group? Mebbe not.) and I'm wondering if this place can hold around 23 people comfortably. Ah, there's only one way to find out. It's really nice to live in a place big enough to have a bunch of friends over; I used to be shindig central in Montreal and I miss that. I did have a few DVD nights (and of course the Big Brother final episode night) in my last little flat, but it was just so hard to accommodate more than like 4 people comfortably. I like my new house, I do. A moment of silence for my dead scoot, please. It just up and died yesterday morning, which was less than amusing. It's such fun being a girl with something mechanical: while I was swearing and trying to kickstart the scooter, not one but two blokes came wandering over to help. Granted, I live next to a wee garage and one of the blokes was a mechanic, but still. If I was a guy, I don't think I would have got the same altruistic response. The other fun thing about being a girl is that three different blokes asked, "Are you sure there's petrol in the tank?" Yes, thank you. That's a lot like a tech support guy going "Is your computer plugged in, ma'am?" I'm sure idiocy abounds and Occam's Razor does tend to apply to most situations, but even I'm not that retarded. So anyway, the little scoot needs to be rescued by the bike shop near work next week whereupon a bunch of blokes will look at it, suck air through their teeth a lot while going "hmmmmmmmm...THAT needs replacing, too", and I'll hand over the cash to pay for it all. Mmmmm. Stay tuned for many drunken, blurry digital post-party photos.
But I'll do the Friday Five instead. 1. What are the first things that you do in the morning to start your day?Smack the bejeezus outta the snooze button, roll out of bed, shower, dry my hair, and wander over to work. 2. What are the last things that you do at night before going to bed? Set the alarm for the next day, watch a bit of telly, check my email, and read. 3. What daily routine have you recently added to your day? Trying to figure out how the thermostat works and wandering around the house trying to find boxes of stuff I've misplaced. 4. What routine do you wish you get rid of? Working. 5. What's the one thing that makes you feel like something is missing if you don't do it some point within your day? Breathe. Or get dressed. Or both.
Watching the Queen Mum rolling from St. James' palace to Westminster (via the BBC site - T2 connections at work sure do come in handy sometimes). They've just hoisted her up to a cloth covered table and I can't help but think it would be really funny if they pulled the flag off her coffin only to reveal that VOILA! She's disappeared! Then a scantily clad babe in a sparkly bikini top could come out from behind a curtain and wave at everyone. Ta daaa! I know, I'm going to hell in a handbasket.
I know I'm getting used to life here because: I know I'm still very Canadian because: As Jack would say, "Life is good" (then he'd call us bastards and do some sort of weird rap related hand gesture). Life is good here, indeed. Now if only I could find out why my neighbours stampede up and down their stairs every night at 11pm and 4am. It's like clockwork and I simply need to know WHY.
Things I discovered today on my first scooter commute to work:
Note to self: think before you take an antihistamine. Can I go night scootering now? Nooooooooo. Goddammit. I was having an allergy fit and popped a pill without thinking. I think the previous residents had a cat - the tip-off being cat hair all over the house and my asthma going mental after vacuuming. I'm allergic to my new house. Rah.
Just thought I'd mention that I no longer use Blogger to update this site. There's nothing terribly wrong with it, mind you - it just doesn't seem to work from this computer. It's fine at work, but I cannot post anything longer than 3 or 4 lines from home. Bizarre. Maybe it's an XP thing as I run 2000 at work. *shrug* Anyhoo, this site is now powered by...NOTEPAD. Yeah, baby! I am a high tech whiz kid! Lookit me type! Go go power Lisa! Sadly, I also have to use Notepad at work because I don't have an HTML editor. Can you say "limited budget"? Pathetic. Oh we do have HomeSite, but only one licenced copy (thus I was told I couldn't install it). Guess wot I'm doing right now? Oh, you're disgusting. As if I would do THAT while typing this entry. Sicko. I'm waiting for it to get dark so I can practise night scootering. I haven't had a chance to test out nighttime visibility, so I'll head out tonight to make sure I can actually see where I'm going. Night Scooter sounds like a new show starring David Hasselhoff. I think it plays weekly at The Stuffed Squirrel and Parrot.
It really hurts when bugs hit you in the face when you're going 40mph. Who knew? I've just had a fun run on my scooter in preparation for my daily commute to work. I just discovered that it costs me less than £3 to fill the tank and that should last me about a week. Rock da howse. I was watching BBC2 last night and that git Jamie Oliver was on. He was scootering all over the place and I found this a bit unsettling. So far, I now have three images that come to mind when I think of scooters: Quadrophenia, Jamie Oliver, and Po. None of these three things are terribly cool. Damn.
When tout le gang was helping me move the other night, Heather noticed this rather unique decoration bolted to the wall upstairs. You think you're horrified, try having this outside your bedroom late at night. I kid you not, this is a stuffed squirrel and parrot that the owners have inexplicably stuck to the wall in a morbid anti-Changing Rooms motif. In keeping with this theme, Tony and I had to walk through massive rooms filled with dead stuffed things on our tour of Audley End on Sunday. One of the owners decided to kill every bit of wildlife on his property, stuff them, and stick them in glass display cases. We're talking birds, fish, foxes, ferrets, and some sort of baby alligator type creature. I think The Stuffed Squirrel and Parrot would be a good name for a pub, by the way.
I've got a lovely old church just around the corner from my house, and the church bells have been ringing for the past few minutes in a post Easter mass kinda way. Call me insane, but I swear it sounds like the Chef Boy Ardee song. No really, it does and now it's stuck in my head. I keep thinking bing bing bing bing bing bing Chef Boy Ar-deeeeeee.
Be very afraid.
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Did you know that Kraft Dinner is known as "Kraft Cheesey Pasta" here in the UK? No, really!
