girls are weird.

31 May 2006

because you're dying to know

Last night's supper was mint, pea, and prawn risotto served with a lovely green salad. Congratulations to Shauna for giving me the idea to make risotto! Thanks for playing and please join us again next time.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

30 May 2006

ready steady blog

Here's my dilemma: I can't get to the supermarket before suppertime so I need to figure out what to make out of the contents of my kitchen cupboards. Please help - think of this as an interactive online experience that will undoubtedly enrich your life, make you better looking, and possibly help you lose 5-10 lbs.

Fridge/freezer contents:

parmesan cheese
milk
various condiments (an assortment of mustards, mayonnaise, ketchup, and some suspicious-looking chutney that's probably out of date)
a few vegetables: carrots, celery, mushrooms, potatoes, a bit of salad, and cucumber.
some herbs: parsley, basil, mint, and coriander.
bread
peas
cooked prawns
tortillas
ice cubes
food for Jack stored in bags and little plastic tubs*
*(I'll only break into these in case of emergency)

Cupboard contents:

more herbs and spices than you can shake a stick at
various oils and vinegars
rice (basmati, brown long grain, and arborio)
pasta
lentils
porcini mushrooms
lots of alcohol
tinned chickpeas
baked beans
eggs
one sad clove of garlic
sushi rice, pickled ginger, wasabi paste, and seaweed (nori)
miso soup
tinned stock
tuna
soba noodles
several varieties of flour and many other things to make baked goods

Answers in the comments by 5pm GMT, please. If you come over to our house and cook for us, we'll provide wine.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

26 May 2006

knitpicking

After several weeks of practicing how to knit rectangles, I've moved on - to squares. But wait, these squares actually have a purpose because I've got a project. Oh yes. I don't want to give too much away, but suffice it to say that the project may go exceedingly well and I will present it with pride, or I'll be running over to Mothercare to buy a 6 pack of infant sleepsuits and stuffing my project into a carrier bag behind the sofa. It could go either way, really.

I'm pleased to say that I've managed to get most of it done without having to call my mother-in-law once. Mind you, I am going to embark on another smaller project soon that requires weird things like increasing and moss stitches, whatever the hell that means. Maybe I should just make a scarf.

Of course you do realise that all of you are getting knitted socks with giant pom-poms on them for Christmas this year.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

24 May 2006

child's play

I've always maintained that a lot of things aimed at children are pretty damn terrifying. Take things like Teletubbies, for example - what the merry hell is that supposed to be about? Then there are nursery rhymes ("Let's all sing about the plague, children!"), fairy tales involving witches eating wayward children who have wandered into the woods, and don't even get me started about clowns.

I have recently made a frightening discovery involving several of my son's toys: they beckon you when you leave them. He's got a stuffed puppy that sings and plays games when you press its paws, and if you leave it alone for a few minutes, it cries out in an artificially created mock child's voice "I love you!" It's not cute; it's like something out of a horror film. I'm waiting for it to creep up the side of our bed late at night and softly sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" at us while its eyes glow bright red. Jack's got a plastic farm that plays a few tunes and makes animal noises, and after it's left for several minutes, it shouts out "YEEEEHAAAAW!" The first time it did that, my heart leapt out of my throat.

My uncle got a Furby for his kids a few years ago, and he said that it used to make noises and move its eyes all by itself. I'm still traumatised by a toy I once had called "Baby Alive", a doll that contorted its mouth while you shoved something resembling orange custard in its mouth and then deposited it out the other end. I'm not sure what people in children's toy marketing are trying to do with our offspring, but it's scaring the crap out of me. That's it; I'm only buying Lego and Playdough for my son.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

23 May 2006

it's got fruit in it, so it's good for me

I have just made a very exciting discovery: Waitrose sells Cartmel sticky toffee pudding! This tiny shop in the Lake District has been featured on Rick Stein's "Food Heros" and BBC's "Great British Menu" recently, and I made a mental note to check them out the next time we're up there. As if by magic, they have come to me. Surely it's a sign, and as such, I felt it best not to ignore it and purchased some yesterday.

I need a moment to compose myself, as I'm having sticky toffee flashbacks.

It was, very simply put, the best sticky toffee pudding I've ever had. If I wasn't already married, I would have run off with it and made little sticky toffee babies with it. For those of you who aren't aware of this dessert, it's a wonderfully moist sponge cake base (made with dates and more sugar than most humans should consume in a lifetime) doused in a toffee sauce. If you live near a Waitrose and you like sticky toffee pudding, give it a go.

Yeah, yeah...I'll get back to the running this week.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

19 May 2006

it's highbrow, really

Oh yes, oh yes: Big Brother has returned! Some of you are excited as I am, some of you don't live in this country and have no clue what I'm talking about, and the rest of you are looking down your noses at this uncouth broad. I care not a jot; I like trashy television, peanut butter and jam sandwiches, Heat magazine, and buying shoes. Deep as a puddle, I am.

As is tradition, here is my summary of this year's housemates (in order of house entry - see if you can detect the logic behind this):

Bonnie: That's pronounced "bon-aaayyy", but must be pronounced "bonny" immediately after introducing herself to anyone, because no one can decipher her accent.

Pete: He's got Tourette's (no, really), but that's actually the least of his difficulties. He's more hyperactive than a toddler on Coco Puffs soaked in a triple espresso, and is more than just a little bit scary. We like him.

George: Claims to be posh and also claims to dislike very camp gay men.

Shahbaz: A very camp gay man.

Lea: A "35-year-old" (my eye) "model" (again, I direct you to my eye) who's had a little work done. Imagine if Dolly Parton and Pete Burns had a child, and you're pretty much there.

Imogen: A young looker and a former Miss Wales. No sign of artificial enhancement, but there's still lots of time for that yet.

Mikey: Model and software developer, which has got to be the strangest combination of occupations to date. He hates feminists and thinks women should "know their place."

Dawn: She doesn't like people. I think someone may need to sit her down and explain the Big Brother concept to her before things go horribly wrong. I vote her most likely to stab someone in the head with a potato peeler.

Glyn: He was voted the hottest lifeguard in North Wales, despite being built like a runnerbean.

Richard: Canadian, and I really can't apologise enough for that. He's a self-confessed "maneater" and goes for guys who are "big and dumb". Shahbaz almost wet himself when Richard entered the house. Richard looked frightened and moved away quickly.

Grace: Supposedly a Sloan Ranger, but is actually just a daft bird with rich parents and likes to shop. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Lisa: Very, very chatty and hyper. I vote her most likely to be stabbed in the head with a potato peeler.

Sezer: That's pronounced "Ceasar" like the salad. The salad is actually a lot more interesting than this man.

Nikki: If Vicki Pollard lost about 6 stone, we'd have this contestant. Hmm Nikki...Vicki?

Let the fun begin.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

18 May 2006

crafty girls

My lovely friend Melanie (whose mummy makes the best cheesecake ever) and her friend Karen are the owners of K&M Beadshop, where you can buy all sorts of funky beads online. Mmmm sparkly. If you ever want to make your own jewellery, check it out. Very handy when you need something special and personalised (like our bridesmaids' necklaces). It's also great fun for kids who are into jewellery making. Melanie's a top bird (lookit me being all British) and she deserves loads of support.

Go now! Buy things! Lots of things!

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

17 May 2006

the running diaries, week 2

Ran once. Got a cold. Breathing went wonky due to rapeseed attack. Didn't run again last week. Feck.

Now about this rapeseed nonsense. Look, I know that most of you reading this are likely rapeseed farmers because there must be approximately ten billion of you in this country, judging by the number of rapeseed fields I've spotted. I really don't mean to berate your crop of choice, but it really buggers up my asthma and makes me sneeze. Could you please grow something more allergy-friendly, such as moss, cotton, or perhaps some lovely root vegetables? Thank you.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

05 May 2006

the running diaries, week 1

On Sunday, July 2 (the day after our Canada Day BBQ, at which point I will be hungover and bloated) I will be running the 5k Race for Life. That's right, running. I should explain that I loathe running and in fact, I'm not even that fond of walking. The only walking I enjoy is on beaches or if I decide to embark on a journey from the sofa to the fridge, and my husband is not available to make the trek for me. When sadistic gym teachers forced us to take part in a diabolical form of torture called "cross country", I would wave my inhaler at them and wheeze heavily to get out of it. I. Hate. Running.

So this week, I started running. It hasn't been too bad, actually. I'm following the Runner's World's 5k beginner's training programme and have just finished week one. With just over 8 weeks to go, I hope to get to the point where I can a) finish the race in less than an hour and b) finish the race without dropping dead. Not asking for much, really.

Week one in summary: I followed the run/walk training format when I trained for the Moonwalk in 2003, and very surprisingly, I felt better my first session this time than I did three years ago. All that toddler lifting must be accomplishing something - and the fact that I'm on a superduper new inhaler (it's purple and has a counter). After the first session, my legs hurt. After the second session, my legs hurt. After the third session, my legs sort of hurt. I couldn't make it through today's session because my asthma was getting grumpy. I'm thrilled to be able to run for a couple of minutes fairly easily, but at this point, cannot imagine running non-stop for more than about five minutes. On race day, I hope to run for approximately 40 minutes non-stop. I know, I'm laughing too.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

04 May 2006

...but in a good way

During a meeting yesterday, a workmate said to me: "I saw you in the paper. I never thought that you were that old!"

I took it as a compliment.*

*(The workmate quickly realised how it sounded and was very sweet in trying to explain what he meant. Apparently he thought I was in my 20s, and that's a lovely thing to hear. I would like to thank good genes, quitting smoking, avoiding sunlight, and Oil of Olay for this moment.)

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

02 May 2006

my 15 minutes

'A child has to benefit from having parents who waited'

Tuesday May 2, 2006
The Guardian

Lisa Durbin became a mother at 36 when she gave birth to Jack, now 14 months. She is Canadian, a technical author and lives in Cambridgeshire with her husband, Paul, a software test manager

When I was in my 20s, the longest relationship I had lasted eight years - and that was with a man who didn't want children. It wasn't a serious issue; I didn't feel ready to have kids, but couldn't say that I never wanted them.

My 30th birthday came and went and I was single. I met my husband when I was 33 and when things started to get serious, I was pleased - and relieved - to learn that he wanted kids. I still wasn't sure that I was ready to be a mum, but at least it was an option in this relationship. It wasn't until various things fell into place that I became certain I wanted to have a child. We got engaged, I had a job I thoroughly enjoyed, I bought my first car and house, but most importantly, I felt secure about my life for the first time.

In my 20s, I was in no way prepared to have a baby. I barely took care of myself - I smoked a packet of cigarettes a day and was four and a half stone overweight - how could I possibly be responsible for the welfare of another human being? I made a meagre hourly wage at a bookshop and my partner only worked part-time. I had two pet turtles; they both died from neglect. Now I can afford to take time off work to care for my son, and I am in an amazingly strong relationship that has endured the many stresses of pregnancy, birth, and parenthood. Almost all of my friends didn't become mothers until their 30s for various reasons. Mostly they didn't meet their current partners until later and that had a big role to play in their decision to wait.

I am the daughter of young parents (my mother was 19 and my father 21), but this is a different era. How can children not benefit from having parents who waited until they were ready to have a baby, rather than women getting pregnant simply because they are a certain age? It boggles the mind. [source]

I got an email last week from Audrey Gillan, who identified herself as a journalist from The Guardian and was interested in what I had to say about being a mother in my thirties. She came across my blog (specifically, the ranty post I made in response to an article about "older" mothers "defying nature" by waiting to have children) and liked what I wrote - which I thought was a great compliment. It was all terribly exciting, especially when the photographer, David Rose, arrived unexpectedly and I looked like a dog's dinner and Jack was covered in a layer of yoghurt from supper. I said "Could I have five minutes, please?" and I dashed upstairs to slap on some makeup, comb my hair, and hose Jack down. Some 200 plus snaps later, David took some great shots and was absolutely lovely with Jack.

The whole experience was fantastic and Audrey is a hoot. I'm pleased that the blurb I wrote for the article is there in its entirety and wasn't edited down to three buzzwords. How wonderful that blogging can lead to something like this; allowing the opinions of an average person into a national newspaper. I never thought that I'd end up in a newspaper without the headline "Have You Seen This Woman" and accompanying article about the horrible crime I'd committed. My mother will be so proud.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --