girls are weird.

28 February 2005

ain't too proud to participate in a meme

Spotted on Big Jack's Blog, here's a list of ten things I've done that I suspect you haven't:

1. Spilled a hot plate of fries/chips on a blind man. (I am the world's worst waitress.)
2. Dropped an entire tray full of ketchup bottles. (See above.)
3. Met one of the dogs who played the Littlest Hobo at a mall in Brantford, Ontario in 1977. Honest, my Mom's got a picture to prove it.
4. Met one of the members of Platinum Blonde. My dippy roommate brought him over to our dorm room at 3am; I thought I was hallucinating as I had been up all night finishing an essay on Salvador Dali.
5. Fetched and sold the book "Black Robe" to Lothaire Bluteau. This is probably only of interest to Montrealers or Canadian film buffs.
6. Pretended not to be able to speak English to escape a Jehovah's Witness on a street in Montreal. It didn't work.
7. Got a jellybean stuck up my nose. Give me a break, I was 9 years old and I was sniffing it to see what flavour it was.
8. Pretended to be my "visiting cousin" on the phone when trying to avoid a call from work asking me to do an extra shift. I was 16, and no, they didn't buy it.
9. Fell up an escalator at Cours Mont-Royal (a Montreal mall). I wasn't even drunk at the time and it really, really hurt.
10. Fell over the side of a banister and landed on top of a Christmas tree. I was drunk at the time.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

26 February 2005

freebirds

It is indescribably wonderful to be home. After a week of hospital food, being poked and prodded, forced to share wards with a couple of absolute lunatics, cut open, drugged up, stuck with more needles, and dealing with some (very few, thankfully) downright miserable hags of midwives, I am now the happiest woman alive. As an added bonus, they sent me home with this rather cute little boy and a dashingly handsome man (he can cook!). Lucky girl, me.

Paul printed up all of your comments and emails for me while I was being held captive in hospital, and they truly did lift my spirits. Thank you all so much for your congratulations and kind words; they meant the world to me. Our mantle is full of cards, I have two beautiful bouquets of flowers (very kindly sent by Jack and Heather, and the Citrix gang), and Jack's even got some gifts to enjoy. Even though we are sleep deprived and still a little bit wobbly on our new parent legs, we are simply over the moon. I will write more on the baby blog about the Week From Hell soon, and will keep the majority of the baby stuff (e.g. anything related to new motherhood and hilarious tales of recovering from a c-section) over there to avoid this blog getting too Mumsy.

In the meantime, here are a couple of pictures I took of Jack this morning. Thank you all again - I can feel the love. No really, I'm not being sarcastic for once.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

24 February 2005

normal service will be resumed soon

So tomorrow is the big day (we hope, fingers crossed). Jack and Lisa will finally be coming home. Its been fun keeping Lisa's blog ticking over for the last week. Lisa has a ton of stuff to update you with in person, so I'm handing back.

Goodbye 'til next time.

[posted by: Paul] --

23 February 2005

mum's first pictures

Here's some more pictures of our gorgeous son taken by his drugged up mummy.

Jack says: "If no ones going to play peek-a-boo with me, I'll play by myself."

Lisa says: "I'm not just a number, now get me the heck out of here!!!"

Lisa's spirits were certainly raised when I showed her the print out of all the kind messages everyone has left. Today they've needed lifting, last night was tough. The baby next to Lisa's bed screamed the whole night and continued most of the day. Jack on the other hand is such a happy and contented baby. Lisa has been out of bed today (although rather gingerly as you would expect) and has managed to get Jack out his cot and change him by herself. Not an insignificant feat when you've had major surgery just over 24hrs before. I had the honour of giving Jack his first bath. He was so happy and relaxed in the warm water he was almost asleep. He also passed his hearing test with flying colours. We have the perfect baby!

Tomorrow will Lisa's 7th day inside. We say, enough is enough! Free the Godmanchester 1 (and 1/2)! Write to your Prime Minister/President and join the campaign. Free Lisa and Jack now!

[posted by: Paul] --

22 February 2005

finally

May I present the newest member of our family. Born at 12.48 22nd February 2005. Weighing a very healthy 10lbs (no wonder I hear you say). Meet Jack William Durbin. Jack after my grandfather and William after Lisa's dad.

Jack's first baby photo:

[posted by: Paul] --

21 February 2005

too posh to push

Well the waiting is nearly over. The induction gel has failed to get things going so Lisa is now scheduled for a C-section at around 10.00 am tomorrow morning. The midwife who's been looking after Lisa seems to think we have quite a big baby (she's estimated 8lbs.) and also said that Lisa's pelvis is on the small size. So it probably explains the lack of progress.

The other sad news is Lisa was bumped from her private room so is now out in general population. This means loosing her TV privileges as well. She has a laptop with her and a few DVDs so hopefully she'll keep herself busy tonight.

If all goes well Lisa and Pip (real name soon to be announced) should be home on Friday. I'll update you when I can.

Wish us luck.

[posted by: Paul] --

20 February 2005

induction (day 3)

Still no real progress on the baby front. Lisa had a 24 hr break from treatment; which resumed at 4.00 pm today. She's had some contractions but nothing productive yet. We were hoping they'd let he home last night but she still has plus 1 protein so no escape. I've been trying to keep her spirits up with MacDurbs eggy bagels and tasty steak and onion pies. So far its working (ish).

Lisa is actually feeling pretty good, the enforced rest has done her good. She should be in good shape once labour starts for real. Her blood pressure is fine and the baby is healthy so they're not forcing anything yet.

[posted by: Paul] --

19 February 2005

show me the baby

Ok so I'm a virgin blogger, please be gentle with me. Lisa was taken in earlier today (Friday) to be induced. Initially we were given the option of going in Saturday; which would have allowed Lisa (and I) to get used to the idea. But unfortunately induction is a Mon - Fri thing so with one quick phone call, 24 hours notice was reduced to about 4. So she's now under the tender care of Hazel ward for the next day or so (and in a private room). Amazing what a few carefully distributed 10 pound notes can get you. It sounds so glamorous until you realize the curtains are 1/2 the size they should be, the window to the room faces a main corridor and the neighbors smoke!!!!!! Yes you heard me right.

So this is one tired soon to be father signing off, watch this space for the next exciting episode.

[posted by: Paul] --

15 February 2005

the way to my heart is through a filet of beef

When we woke up yesterday morning, we exchanged Valentine's cards and I gave Paul a "Valentine's cracker" (that's not a euphemism), which was frankly a bit rubbish. Similar to a Christmas cracker, the package promised me lots of Valentine's-related festivity for him but managed to only deliver a little pop, some cufflinks, heart-shaped confetti, and a piece of paper that said "Happy Valentine's Day". The doorbell rang later in the afternoon and Jasper scared the life out of a delivery man trying to shove flowers through the door at me. Paul had one dozen beautifully deep red roses sent to the house, accompanied by a little bottle of bubbly for post-baby celebrations. For dinner, Paul made us an absolutely delicious beef stroganoff using filet steak from our local butcher, with asparagus and horseradish mashed potato. Did I mention that my husband is a wonderful cook? Yes? More than once? Never will I take this for granted, ever. It was a lovely day and our last Valentine's as a duo. Nifty, that.

Heather and baby Rebecca came by for a visit yesterday afternoon, bearing gifts of baked goods (this is the other way to my heart, in case you ever need to know). Jasper delighted in slurping Rebecca's hands and face whenever he had the chance as he has quickly learned over the past year that small children tend to be covered in food, effectively creating a crawling lolly for his enjoyment. As she got a bit more brave with him, she crawled towards him squealing excitedly - which in turn caused him to scamper backwards away from her with that look on his face he gets when I come towards him with the vacuum. I'm thankful that he is excellent with babies, but I have a feeling that he is going to be completely perplexed by the new hairless pink puppy that is about to invade his home.

Oh dear, it's been at least an hour since I've lounged around doing nothing. I simply must get back to my sofa, if you'll excuse me.*

*I won't be able to brag about my fabulously indulgent lifestyle soon, so I'm getting all the gloating in while I can. Otherwise, saying "I've had no sleep, I haven't left the house in six weeks, and my boobs are constantly leaking" isn't exactly much to be envious about. Please humour me.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

14 February 2005

it's VD for everyone!

Whoever and whatever you love, celebrate today by indulging in either (or both). Whether it's a night alone with nothing but a spoon and a carton of ice cream, a romantic dinner for two, snuggling up with a yard of ale in front of your favourite film, or falling in love with your new puppy (no, we didn't get another one, Fi did), have a warm n' fuzzy day. Or you can be miserable and throw things at neighbourhood children in protest of this Hallmark-created "tradition". Up to you, really.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

11 February 2005

i *heart* fridays

We're going to have a pre-Valentine's dinner tonight at the Old Bridge Hotel, our wedding venue. "Awwww how sweet", I hear you all say. At least I think that's what you said. Anyway, in an attempt to avoid the crowds, set menus, and inflated costs of restaurant meals on Valentine's Day itself, we're going out tonight instead.

I rang the Old Bridge about booking a table for Monday night, and was informed that it was a set menu costing £65 per person. "You get champagne on arrival", the hostess told me. For £65 per person, I would expect champagne and a backrub from a fireman throughout my meal, thank you. Needless to say, simply booking a table three days prior to this means the same excellent quality food at less than half the price. No fireman, but that I can live with.

In a bid to avoid daytime television, I have started ordering DVDs online from Blockbuster's. In the post today, we received "Shaun of the Dead", "The Village", and "Supersize Me". Film reviews coming soon.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

09 February 2005

please advise

I didn't end up making nor eating pancakes after dinner last night because I was still so full from lunch. Is that bad luck? Will bad things happen if I eat pancakes today instead? Also, it is the year of the rooster. Paul, me, and Pip are all roosters. Is that a bad thing? Or does it mean it'll be a spectacular year for all of us?

I think this means I should just stay in bed today. There are far too many unanswered questions hanging about.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

08 February 2005

pass the syrup

It's Shrove Tuesday! In celebration, I have eaten crispy duck pancakes for lunch (note the relevance not only to Pancake Tuesday, but also to the Chinese New Year - Ithankyew) and will be preparing blueberry pancakes for dessert tonight. I like to take part in cultural traditions that involve griddled carbohydrates drowned in sugary sauces. We need more traditions like this; Banana Split Sunday, for example.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

07 February 2005

RTFM

I think I know why some people can't cook: because few enjoy following directions and/or reading instructions. Trust me, I'm a technical writer - even I don't bother reading instructions I haven't written. I was watching "Friends for Dinner" a few minutes ago, which is a cooking programme about regular schmoes like us cooking a meal coached by celebrity chefs like Gary Rhodes (who drives me mental, but that's another story). As I was watching this episode, it struck me that even though the recipe was clear about how to prepare the item, the person doing the cooking only half-read the instructions - with disastrous results. Then again, it also struck me that in another recipe she followed, the instructions were poorly written. It was for a pastry crust that could either be used for savoury or sweet tarts. She wanted to make a crust for a strawberry tart, followed the instructions step-by-step, and it was only when she got to the very end of the recipe that she was instructed to add sugar if the pastry was to be used in a sweet dish (i.e. she was supposed to add the sugar before the pastry had been formed). Of course by then, it was too late and she had to start again.

On the most part, cooking is not rocket science. Recipes need not be complicated, overwhelming people with a twenty step cooking process. It's easy to lose track between steps, particularly if they're numerous. Don't tell people at the end of the process about something important they should have done at around step 2. Don't state the obvious, but do state the necessary. I think that once a person has successfully followed enough recipes, they will become more confident improvising or at the very least, remembering the basics to do it again on their own. Give a person a complicated recipe that turns out to be a disaster, and they won't venture beyond beans on toast.

So on that note, I leave you with this fantastic recipe for French toast I made this weekend. Love him or hate him, it's a Jamie Oliver recipe and it's dead easy - which is why I have a lot of respect for him. I think he's made cooking a lot more accessible to those who would normally run screaming from the kitchen. Right so, warm a frying pan over medium heat, and butter two slices of bread on both sides. Mash a banana and mix with some fresh blueberries (or any fruit you want, really) and a bit of sugar. Dip the buttered bread slices in a beaten egg and let the excess run off. Place one slice in the pan, put the fruit filling on top, and place the other slice of bread on top of the fruit filling and press down slightly. Cook for around 2 minutes (lift an edge with a spatula and make sure it's not overcooking), and flip and cook on the other side for a further 2 minutes. Serve with a dollop of yoghurt or if you're a piggy like me, drown it in maple syrup. Shove it down your gob at the table while your husband walks by and says "That looks good. Is there any left?" Respond by shaking your head and continue shovelling the French toast into your mouth.

Serves 1.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

04 February 2005

and now back to your regularly scheduled programme

Good news, my blood pressure has come down quite a bit today and I don't have to endure bad hospital food quite yet. There are more details on the baby blog for those interested, but in a nutshell, Pip and I are okay. I will need more checks and tests over the next couple of weeks, so we shall see what happens.

Now about the bad toast. Only about 2/3 of the bread had actually been toasted, and I can only assume that the other third was poking out the top of the toaster. This partially toasted toast was also cold, so when I attempted to spread butter on it, it shredded into little bits. Bad Toast. Jamie Oliver has a new series about sprucing up school dinners (or cafeteria lunches, as we call them in the motherland), but I think he should pay a visit to some hospitals as well. It is not difficult to make decent food on a tight budget for a lot of people. It's like airline food, it doesn't have to be terrible - it just is, and we accept it as a fact of life.

If you are not on a special diet, why can't hospitals offer you more interesting food like fresh sandwiches, steaming bowls of homemade soup/stews/chili/curries, "comfort" food like macaroni and cheese, sausages and mash, and lasagna? All of these items fit the criteria: you can make them in mass quantities, they can sit for a while without going horribly wrong, and you can make healthy versions of any of these dishes. When I had to fill out my meal selections at my hospital, it was like being on a 500 calorie a day diet at an old age home. For breakfast, I could have Bad Toast or a selection of very fibrous, bland cereals. For lunch, my choices were vegetable soup, a jacket potato (plain baked potato), tuna salad, or the "vegetarian option" of a salad sandwich (I can only assume that literally meant salad greens on bread). For supper, my choices were the same soup, quiche, chicken and lentil stew, or a cheese sandwich. Interestingly, I could have selected a huge variety of cakes and sweets on this same menu. I could have biscuits (cookies) with my breakfast tea, chocolate sponge (cake) with chocolate sauce with lunch, a midafternoon snack of cake, and more dessert selections with supper. So sugar is widely available, but meals containing important elements like sufficient protein are not. Let me guess - sugar is cheaper than protein, right?

At any rate, I am packing one helluva picnic basket the next time I go into hospital.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

03 February 2005

stay tuned

Just a quickie to say that I have just escaped from the hospital (not of the mental variety) after being monitored overnight for high blood pressure. I need to go back in tomorrow, and hopefully they will tell me that I'm fine and send me on my merry way. Otherwise, it means another stay in the maternity ward and if my blood pressure continues to rise, I may need to be induced. I, however, am determined to keep this baby in there at least another two weeks. Having only finished work last Friday, I need a bit more time off to watch trashy daytime TV and bake cookies.

Wish me luck and if I'm not back here tomorrow, please send food. I mean honestly, I know hospital food is bad but they managed to make really bad toast this morning. How can you make bad toast??

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

01 February 2005

diary of a domestic goddess, part 1

Monday: Sort of slept in; stayed in bed 1/2 hr. longer than usual, but had to get up to use the loo. Toasted a bagel. Didn't get out of my pyjamas until 11am. Felt very strange about not being at work and had to resist the temptation to check my work email and double check that I hadn't left any unfinished business. Ate lunch. Felt compelled to do something productive and interesting. Watched a bit of TV. Took pictures of the nursery and added them to the baby blog. Played frisbee with Jasper. Experienced a slight pang of guilt for not doing something productive and interesting. Made rigatoni. Went to our last antenatal class.

Tuesday: Sort of slept in, but the loo beckoned once again. Made scrambled eggs. Didn't get out of my pyjamas until 11am. Didn't feel that strange about not being at work; had no temptation to check my work email. Ate lunch. Felt compelled to do something productive and interesting. Made a grocery list. Blogged. Am now about to go to Tesco. Will make curry for dinner tonight, and will read Heat magazine later. Will devour more of Dan Brown's "Angels and Demons" before going to bed tonight.

I think I just heard the sound of a dozen people sighing and wondering what other blogs are out there to read.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --