Lisa is a 30mumble-year-old technical author, mum, avid cook, extremely amateur veg grower, novice knitter, and closeted graphic designer, who enjoys referring to herself in the third person. [more...]

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Graphics created by me and Corel.

27 February 2004

giggling like the doughboy

I am not great at baking. I can cook, but my attempts at cakes, pies, and other assorted desserts usually don't go very well (although for some reason, I can make a wicked sticky toffee pudding and chocolate cheesecake). So you can imagine my surprise and glee when I managed to make cinnamon rolls last night. Real, homemade, almost as good as Cinnabon's cinnamon rolls. Mrs. Kitten Tosha very helpfully recommended Nigella's recipe for cinnamon rolls from the "How to be a Domestic Goddess" cookbook, and I must say ta muchly for the suggestion. The dough was rather alarmingly gloopy (a good cookbook should really warn you about things like this), and even Paul had a go at kneading it just in case it wasn't forming properly due to my girlygirl wimpy hands. It all turned out well in the end, and Paul's Dad should be happy with these birthday baked goods. Go me for only eating one roll last night! (It was broken anyway, plus I had to make sure that the dough was cooked properly. Oh shush.)

Paul said that cooking is an art but baking is a science (he may have stolen that quote from someone else, actually). I never did well in science class (except biology) and most of my studies revolved around art. This is probably why I can make a kick ass risotto but my one attempt at breadmaking resulted in a beige anvil.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

25 February 2004

just making sure that you're paying attention

I was getting bored with the colours I've been using on this site lately, so I changed a few things. One day, I'll come up with a decent design and tidy up this entire site. One day...if I'm ever housebound for weeks on end with nothing to do or wind up in a prison with an Internet connection.

There's this thing called The Bloggies happening now. While I'm not really keen on events that commend the same three bloggers year after year, there are a few very good blogs nominated this year that are worth checking out (ScorpioGirl being one of them). There are, of course, The Anti-Bloggies. How can you not love a site that has a picture of a grilled cheese sandwich on its opening screen? Exactly.

I can't offer any prizes, nor will getting recognition on this site lead to a fantastic job opportunity, the love of your life, or allow you to lose weight without dieting or exercise (I also have no idea where to get cheap Viagra or how to get you out of debt. Sorry.). What I can offer is this: a few words extolling the virtues of your blog, summarised in a slightly amusing category. Don't let it go to your head, and don't forget the little people. So now, without further ado, here are a few blogs that you may have overlooked but should really visit.

The "Don't Read This if You're Hungry" award goes to Blork Blog: Ed gave me My Very First Tech Writing Job© (from Kenner), but that's not why I've singled him out here. His vivid descriptions of the meals he makes along with the odd photograph makes his blog the tastiest thing on the Internet. On top of that, it's simply a well written, interesting, and diverse blog.

The "Thanks for Motivating Me to Keep Up My French" award goes to ni.vu.ni.connu: I am not putting this site here just because its author just happens to be Ed's better half - I liked her writing even before they got together so nyaaaah! Martine's blog is written in French and English, which has helped me to keep up my French skills (such as they are). She's a self-proclaimed Geek Girl, with a fascinating list of jobs under her belt (she's been on TV, you know!), who writes thoughtful and insightful blog entries.

The "Slightly Insane but Incredibly Cute and Funny" award goes to Quickos Daily News: It's a blog written by a hand puppet. I don't think I've seen a funnier and more original blog. Go see what I mean.

The "I Wish My Blog Looked This Good and I Wrote About More Interesting Things" award goes to Burnt Toast: Well designed, great photographs, excellent writing on a wide variety of topics, this blog makes mine look like it was rejected by KMart.

Don't get me wrong; I think everyone in my links list is well worth a read. I actually visit every one of those sites on a regular basis (except for you people who don't update very often - for shame) and I think each one is brilliant. I very rarely go through the links on other people's sites, so I thought it would be nice to highlight a few here. Now go off and do some reading. Shoo.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

24 February 2004

better now, thanks

I must confess, I usually buy my basil from the grocery store because I cannot grow the stuff at home. Even Jamie Oliver has trouble growing herbs like basil and coriander, so I'm not alone. I do still miss our basil plant, though. He gave us many good meals of bruschetta and pasta. We called him "Basil". I'm getting all verklempt now.

It's Shrove Tuesday today (that's Pancake Tuesday to you and me). Now here's an interesting fact: pancakes here tend to be very crepe-like and are traditionally served with lemon juice (usually that stuff that comes out of plastic lemons) and sugar. Since I'm a foreigner and everything we do is weird and terribly un-British anyway, I shall be making big, fluffy pancakes drowned in maple syrup. I used to adore Pancake Tuesday when I was a kid. Nothing but big discs of sweet doughy stuff topped with a bucket of sugary syrup and butter for dinner? FANTASTIC. Maybe one day someone will invent Chunky Kit Kat Wednesday.

Additionally, French toast or "eggy bread" is savoury, not sweet here. Maybe this is why you'll never find an IHOP in the UK.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

23 February 2004

little miss grumpy

I am in such a cranky mood right now. I feel like listening to the Smashing Pumpkins and writing sad poems about the basil plant that died on us recently.

my basil has died
what the fuck am I going to put on our pizza tonight?
i ain't using it dried
i think it did this out of spite


Or not. Anyway, I don't think I'm the only one who's feeling grumpy because I've had to contend with two very huffy people today and it's not even lunchtime yet. What the world needs is more chocolate. Specifically, more chocolate with a creamy Prozac filling.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

20 February 2004

out of sorts

I woke up this morning (da na na na na na) and thought it was Saturday (da na na na na). No really, I was completely convinced that it was Saturday:

[Paul, slightly surprised] "Hello!"
"Hi."
"What are you doing down here at this time?"
"I woke up so I decided to get out of bed." [mentally preparing a list of things to do before we set off for Warrington later in the morning]
"Would you like a cup of tea?"
"Yes, please."
"You do realise that it's Friday, don't you?"
*blink blink*

Yerrrs. Needless to say, I've been feeling a bit out of sorts all day. In lieu of one of my usual thought-provoking posts (*cough*), here's a list of amusing search strings that have led to my site this month.

pictures of people doing laundry naked
picture's of fluffy hamsters
chinese kitty meat song
ear poking
hanging wedgie pics
pictures of baby puppies doing naughty things
pictures of people rolling down hills
vw scented windshield fluid
wooly cows

Thank you, and have a wonderful weekend.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

19 February 2004

they'll take away my moose

I am a bad Canadian. I only just discovered that we have a new prime minister. Not only did I not know about the election, I didn't even know the leader of the country of my birth had changed, for goodness sake. Now, what does that tell you about the visibility of Canadian (major) news items outside of North America? I read the BBC site on a regular basis, but I think I need to keep the CBC site bookmarked from now on. During the last election, I actually voted by post so that I could still feel like I'm part of my homeland. I still say "oot" and "aboot" (much to Paul's delight), I call cheese slices Kraft Singles, I still get excited when I see a Canadian on TV (and must point it out to anyone who's listening), and I have a little plastic moose on top of my monitor. I pine for This Hour has 22 Minutes, I get frustrated when I can't crack jokes related to Tim Horton's or SCTV because no one knows what I'm talking about, and I was the only one giggling like a loon in the cinema when they showed the moose in trailers for "Brother Bear". And I am vexed at the fact that the Blogger spellchecker wants to replace "CBC" with "CBS". I have not been totally assimilated yet; I just don't look at enough news resources.

I'm sorry, Canada. I didn't even visit you last Christmas.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

when did merchant/ivory form a religion?

According to the Cambridgeshire County Council, your civil wedding ceremony (as opposed to an uncivil wedding, where your uncle Lou picks a fight with your mother-in-law and the bride ends up in the back of the DJ's minivan with the best man) cannot contain the following:
"...extracts from the Bible, the Koran, the Torah, the Prophet (by Gilbran), and Howard's End."

"Howard's End"?

I quite like their suggestion for alternatives, though:
"Perhaps you might have some Shakespeare or some Wordsworth, maybe you prefer something from Winnie the Pooh by A A Milne!"

I do, you silly old bear.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

18 February 2004

midweek frivolity

It's been such a silly day. I was told that my glasses are very "Nana Mouskouri" (not really the look I'm going for, but it made me giggle). A customer has offered to be my guinea pig, and I have offered to buy him some wood shavings and a big metal wheel (out of context, that sounds so naughty). I spent several minutes going through our global address book looking for amusing names, after a conversation to this effect with workmates (I am quite amused that our company employs people called Tito, Cletus, and Fabio). Jean-Luc took a picture of Sean Bean looking really hacked off at JFK airport.

Time to go home now.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

16 February 2004

all we need is 2.5 kids

Via ScorpioGirl, here's our little family in paper doll form:


[from The Family Dollmaker]

I think the Wee Mee in the upper left corner of my blog is a bit more accurate, although the dog in this one is spot on. Neato.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

i thought it felt a bit breezy

How long have I been wandering around with my fly undone? And why didn't any of you people tell me about it? Honestly.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

13 February 2004

it's friday the thirteenth, and here i am without a chainsaw and goalie mask

For those of you who aren't too keen on Valentine's Day and think it's a bunch of Hallmark-induced pap that should be banned like asbestos, here are Meg's Anti-Valentine's cards. A few new ones since last year, and all of them make me giggle.

I like Valentine's Day. Why? Because it involves chocolate. Duh. Let me take this opportunity to spread my good lovin' around the Internet and wish you all a happy Valentine's Day. :)


[courtesy of acme heart maker]

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

11 February 2004

isn't it romantic?

Since I'm thinking about food and Valentine's Day (and when am I not thinking about food?), what is the sexiest meal your partner (real or imaginary) could cook for you?

My choice: a simple green salad (topped with Parmesan shavings) followed by a big bowl of creamy pasta (fresh tagliatelle or linguini) loaded with fresh grilled seafood, served with warm crusty bread or rolls, and something very chocolately for dessert. Ooh and a deep, rich red wine.*

*(to be honest, any meal that I don't have to cook is flippin' sexy)

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

it's monkey time

It's time for Ed and Martine's 12 Monkeys Non-Meme.

This month's theme:
"Talk about the times in your life when you felt really, really alive."

  • The last time I fell in love
  • When I moved my life across the pond
  • When I got on a bicycle for the first time since I was a teenager
  • When I got on a scooter for the first time
  • When I stood amongst the hills of the Scottish Highlands, the Lake District, Cornwall, Devon, Wales, and Napa Valley
  • Every time I hold a baby
  • Whenever my plane touches back down on the ground

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

meat update

Yesterday's meat experience: grilled pork. It kind of tastes like chicken. Think I'll stick to chicken.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

09 February 2004

boys and girls

Read about the 78 differences between men and women on the BBC site. I'm a bit worried that I possess some of the male traits (e.g. "Men have the capacity to sleep through most sounds, whether it is a baby crying, dog barking, or doorbell ringing." - that's me in spades).

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

foodies

It was a very good weekend. On Friday night, Paul made us some fajitas accompanied by a lovely bottle of red wine (Wolf Blass Cabernet Sauvignon, for the curious). On Saturday night, Micky and Susan whipped up a fantastic veggie meal for us. On Sunday, Jack and Heather made us a gorgeous roast chicken dinner with brownies fresh from the oven for dessert. I haven't cooked dinner since Thursday. It was a very good weekend indeed.

I've noticed how my world seems to revolve around food lately (more so than usual). I spent Saturday morning going through cookbooks searching for inspiration or recipes I haven't tried before, especially seeing as I've got this whole new world of meat products open to me now. I've also noticed that my standards are changing. Don't get me wrong, I'll still eat toast with a big smear of peanut butter on it for breakfast (sometimes on a plate, but most times on a paper towel), but lately I've been craving food that's a bit more interesting. For example, I used to favour things like spaghetti with a decent tomato sauce and tuna (which sounds gross but it's actually very nice). Last Thursday, I made grilled scallops, squid, and prawns on fresh angel hair pasta tossed with olive oil, lemon, garlic, chilli, Parmesan, and fresh basil. How very bistro of me. We now keep a pot of Maldon salt next to the stove, which is a step up from the sea salt we used to buy, and yet another step above the Sifto table salt I always used before. I got annoyed when I couldn't find any decent mushrooms at the grocery store this weekend and had to "settle" for shiitake, chestnut, and dried porcini mushrooms for an upcoming pasta dish. I order my sushi ingredients via Internet/mail order. I'm considering getting seafood the same way in my quest to find decent and interesting fish.

I'm going totally epicure with my bad self - which is odd because I really hate pretentious food snobs.

Thanks to Jo for suggesting the book Fat Girl Slim by Ruth Watson. I hate to call it a "diet book" because it's more about healthy eating for foodies. Although I suspect that some of her recipes were "inspired" by other top TV foodies (e.g. Nigella's asparagus dipped in soft boiled eggs or Jamie Oliver's roaster aubergine dip), most are ideas she's put together herself. We're very similar in that we both could eat bread all day, every day and we hate exercising (the term "fun run" always makes me giggle with slightly maniacle glee), and we love good food. It's a good read if you're fed up with the Rosemary Conley's of the world.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

06 February 2004

it's friday!

I am so looking forward to the weekend. It's been a long week with not nearly enough chocolate content for my liking. I'd do the Friday Five but it's all about taking risks and the riskiest thing I've done lately is eat hummous more than two days after opening the container (despite the big warning not to on the lid).

I am one wild lady.

Instead, here's a list of nine films (out of hundreds) that I've really enjoyed over the years (idea completely ripped off from Jim). Feel free to rent them over the weekend, but don't call me and complain if you don't like them.

  • Fargo: "He's fleeing the interview!" Probably the only time I've been genuinely happy about who won the best actress Oscar.
  • Mystery Train: One of Jim Jarmusch's best films, with a brilliant character played by Screamin' Jay Hawkins and lots of early Elvis classics (i.e. the Sun Records recordings, pre-Jailhouse Rock).
  • Amelie: It's a nice film. In a time of many heavy, depressing, ridiculous, cheesy, and overrated films, it was lovely to come across this gem. It's a nice, harmless, happy film.
  • Being There: A quietly brilliant performance from Peter Sellers in his last film.
  • Usual Suspects/Memento (tie!): There are very few well written screenplays, but these two films successfully told two very complex tales with excellent, unpredictable plot twists. I would also put Quentin Tarantino in this category, although his strength is more in his characters' dialogue than his plotlines.
  • The Apartment: Best closing line ever: "Shut up and deal." Any Billy Wilder film makes it into my favourites list, really.
  • Au Revior Les Enfants: A beautiful film by one of my favourite directors, Louis Malle.
  • The Wizard of Oz: A childhood favourite, even though the deflating witch's feet and flying monkeys scared the holy bejeezus out of me.
  • Lord of the Rings (all three films): I'm sure it's horribly unfashionable to publicly declare your love for the LOTR trilogy, but I'm not ashamed to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed these films. Maybe it's a blessing that I never read the books and couldn't pick out all the missing/erroneous bits. I think this is the only series of films that is consistent or, dare I say, got better with each sequel.


Oh and Finding Nemo, of course. I must be getting soppy in my old age.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

05 February 2004

modern love

Today, Paul presented me with the gift of a Bluetooth USB dongle. Most women would have received a gift like this with a look that says "Tonight, you will be sleeping on a sofa - a sofa at the dump that the local kids have set alight.", but not me. Although slightly puzzled at first (did I mention to Paul that I wanted one of these things?) I have had quite a bit of fun transferring things to my mobile phone. I have enough cheesy midi ringtones to last me a lifetime and a plethora of new wallpaper images. Woohoo!

(If you do take a stroll through the midi site linked above, listen to the midi versions of any of the Hole songs listed. I giggled for hours.)

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

the first sign of the apocalypse

So Janet Jackson flashes a boob during the half time show of the Superbowl, and American morality goes into rapid decline. Yes. Well. It's not like she dangled a baby over a balcony in Germany, is it? Had she bit the head off Justin Timberlake, perhaps that would be something to complain about. (Or giggle at, depending on your point of view.)

Over here, we've had a slight uproar (in the British sense, of course) regarding John Lydon AKA Johnny Rotten's recent outburst on live television. Apparently, the "C word" is not something that should be shouted at Ant and Dec, although most of us would debate that point. Frankly, I find Jordan's ludicrously inflated chest and vapid personality more offensive.

Considering the fact that last week's episode of ER (which probably aired four months ago in North America) showed a woman topless as she was being treated, what's the big hoohah about Janet Jackson?

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

04 February 2004

my corns are achin'

Why is it that the older I get, the more sickly I become? I am always feeling slightly poorly. I'm either tired, my RSI/allergies/contact lenses/PMS/tummy is bothering me, or I think I'm coming down with a cold...or all of the above, if I'm lucky. I'm not sure if I was healthier when I was younger, or just not aware of how I felt. It must be the latter because I used to take such bad care of myself, there's no way I was healthier back then (e.g. I shamefully admit that I have, more than once, continued to smoke when I had bronchitis).

Well, that's it. I'm fed up with noticing every ache and pain in my body. From now on, my handbag will be well stocked with codeine and vodka and I shall never ache again.*




*I'm kidding about the booze and pills. I'll just stop moaning about everything, which Paul should greatly appreciate.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

03 February 2004

almost as good as domino's

My new passport arrived today! I sent everything in to the Canadian High Commission in London less than two weeks ago, and my shiny new passport (complete with a non-Uncle Festerlike photo) came in the post this morning. How fabulous is that?

That is all.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

02 February 2004

morrissey would be mortified

So I ate beef last night. That's right - a big hunk of beef fillet, lovingly cooked by Paul. Let me put this into context, for those of you who don't know me or haven't known me for long. I haven't eaten red meat since 1986, when I decided that The Smiths and Kate Bush were the coolest people ever and that I too should become a vegetarian. I was 17; I never claimed to be an intellectual or philosophical genius. I didn't eat any meat until around 1991 when I started eating chicken and fish again for various reasons. Up until last night, I didn't eat anything other than fish/shellfish, chicken, turkey, and the occasional crispy duck. Well, and other things involving vegetables and grains, but you know what I mean.

I decided that I missed certain types of meat (mostly steak and roast beef - I've never tried lamb, so maybe that'll be part of my new culinary plan) and that I certainly wasn't avoiding red meat for any moral reasons. If it was a moral issue, someone would need to explain to me that chicken and fish aren't vegetables...which is something I've actually said to people who kept insisting that I was vegetarian, but I digress. I also knew that I wanted our children to be able to choose what they eat, and provide them with as much dietary variety as possible. I don't think they should miss out on beef burgers and bacon because my choice of diet was based more on personal taste than any ethical issue. Plus, I saw Jamie Oliver make a beef carpaccio on TV the other day, and I thought it looked damned tasty.

For health reasons, I probably won't eat very much beef, pork, or lamb anyway. Poultry and fish are generally less fattening, and I'm not really a big fan of most pig products. It will, however, be very nice to enjoy a lovely roast beef dinner every now and then (with leftovers for sandwiches, of course) and to try lamb for the first time. I'm also curious about prosciutto and Parma ham (they always look so lovely wrapped around a piece of fish). I'll pass on the haggis and blood pudding, thanks.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --

01 February 2004

have you seen this man?

I have one of those fancy pants mobile phones that allows you to take and send pictures. I was going through my pictures yesterday and stumbled across this one:



I have no idea who this is. The data for this picture tells me that I received this file on January 10 of this year, but I have no record of a picture message from anyone and I did not take this picture myself. I don't have bluetooth enabled on my phone (except when Gary sends me funky ring tones), so it wasn't one of those stealth bluetooth messages.

I'm stumped. Truly. If anyone has any idea who this is, please let me know.

[posted by: Lisa Durbin] --