Tuesday, November 30, 2004
i'm going to start selling common sense on eBay
On the most part, pregnancy Web boards make you feel incredibly sane and reasonable in comparison. When I first started frequenting various pregnancy boards, I would smile and sometimes chuckle at the occasional post about pregnancy worries. Some of them I could relate to, and some you know are down to the understandable worry that comes with being pregnant. In recent weeks, it seems like the pregnant world has gone mad. I saw a post from a woman who was terrified because she had a stick of gum containing Aspratame (I wish I was exaggerating, but the post was literally about one stick of gum), that was only heightened by countless replies from other women insisting that any artificial sweetener in any dose will cause terrible harm. Not only that, you shouldn't even go near the stuff when you're not pregnant. Another woman said she was "beating myself up" for having eaten a tuna steak. Another was panicking about a green potato she ate - one month ago. I saw a post warning us of the perils of drinking herbal tea, even the Celestial Seasonings variety, and how we should avoid herbs like rosemary and basil because they'll cause miscarriages (this was a slight misunderstanding about the harm of using these herbs as essential oils, rather than ingesting them in cooking quantities). There was panic in California because a woman ate a piece of rum cake, drama in Colorado when a woman ate a piece of smoked salmon, and peril in Ohio from the inadvertent ingestion of cottage cheese (a bit of confusion over the whole avoid soft cheese thing, I would guess). My good lord, it's amazing babies ever make it to nine months without sprouting extra heads, what with all this bad mothering going on.
I don't know what this all comes down to. Maybe it's just a lack of common sense during pregnancy and we panic about everything. That's feasible, because a lot of other things go out the window during pregnancy like hand/eye co-ordination, short term memory, and the ability to stop ourselves from slapping annoying people. I also think it's due to a phenomenon called Too Much Information. Books contradict each other, even doctors differ in opinions about what's safe. We rely on the Internet to diagnose our ailments and provide answers. We don't trust our own instincts anymore because "studies" keep proving that the things we thought were harmless are actually lethal. We follow these factoids blindly and rely on the advice of others - no matter how irrational it is.
I will admit that I have worried about things that make me laugh now (e.g. just before my first scan, I suddenly had the thought that maybe there was no baby in there and I was experiencing some sort of phantom pregnancy). What saddens me is this constant stream of women who are devastated because they may have harmed their babies, when in fact, they've not. I'm always banging on about the myriad of ways we're made to feel like Bad Mothers, but I think it's even worse when we do it to ourselves.
Monday, November 29, 2004
night owl
Pip has been extremely kicky and tumbly for the past few days, so it was a bit worrying when he being very quiet yesterday. He tends to follow the same pattern: kick Mummy at 9am and continue periodically throughout the morning, have a quick rest for lunch, start prodding Mummy again in the middle of the afternoon, have another rest during dinner, make popcorn in Mummy's tummy for the duration of the evening, and give her a few jabs just before bed. Yesterday, I didn't feel anything when I woke up, and nothing after breakfast. I wiggled my belly (while Jasper looked on with great curiosity) and got a light kick, and that was it until lunchtime. During lunch, I got one more kick, and that was it until the evening when I got a few more pokes.
I know that there's no point in doing those inane "kick counts" recommended by some (mostly American) books and resources because every baby has periods of rest. For those of you not in the know, books like "What to Expect When You're Expecting" claim that you should start counting kicks after 28 weeks. You should be able to count ten movements (kicks, swishes, etc.) in ten minutes, and if not, you should call your doctor immediately. No really, I'm not making this up.
I wasn't panicking, but it was unusual for Pip to be this quiet. I finished reading my book (Patricia Cornwell's "The Last Precinct", if you're curious - a very good read), switched off the light, and settled into my fort of pillows to sleep.
Then Pip woke up.
Kick kick kick kick kick kick flutter kick poke prod tumble kick kick kick kick flutter swoosh kick. Repeat for the entire night, into the morning, and up until the very moment that I'm typing this. Oh please let this not be his waking pattern after he's born. Please.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
oh, THERE you are!
Speaking of milestones, yet another exciting one occurred last night - Paul felt Pip squirm and kick for the very first time! Yay! Pip was being particularly active yesterday evening (I think I've got my kid addicted to chai tea) and was giving me enthusiastic kicks. It reminded me of Jiffy Pop; it was like watching popcorn pop underneath the tin foil surface on the stove top. Paul put his hand on my tummy, and even though Pip did his usual "Ooh there's Daddy, I'm going to hide now" trick for a few seconds, he couldn't resist giving us a good wriggle that Paul could actually feel. He described it as feeling like muscle twitches, which is exactly how it felt to me at the time. I'm sure he'll feel the big kicks soon and will catch a glimpse of my tummy making popcorn.
A round of applause for you, my kicky boy.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
but on the other hand...
Okay, I know that I've been moaning/whining a lot lately about pregnancy. To be totally honest, I do love being pregnant. I mean, how cool is it to feel a little baby wriggling around inside of you, knowing that you provide its lifeline? I've been fascinated by my growing belly, and not a day goes by that I don't notice something new (good or bad). I suppose some find the idea of having no control over your own body to be rather terrifying, I find it incredibly interesting. It's rather exciting to not know what'll happen next. Each little milestone is a great event; I cannot wait for the next one.
I do admit that I am very eager for the baby to be born. I am so curious to see what he will look like and more importantly, I cannot wait to hold him in my own two hands. I am an extremely tactile person (as my poor overcuddled dog will attest to), and rubbing my belly isn't really comparable to the kind of contact we will have in a few months.
Heather very kindly gave us two huge bagfuls of clothes, little shoes, dummies, a baby bath, and a toy for the car seat/buggy. I couldn't suppress the involuntary "awwwwwwww" noise that came out of me as I folded up each item and put it in the cupboard. It's hard to believe that these little tiny clothes will contain a real baby in three months. At the moment, my perception of him is the blurry skeletal figure we've seen in scans, that wriggles around inside of me and gives me a good kick every now and then. How I wish we could take another peek inside with a surgical camera or something similar - if only to figure out what on earth he's doing when it feels like there's an earthquake going on in there.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
i need to hibernate
I have been feeling positively icky lately. I'm tired, achey, nauseous, and my arse goes numb if I don't get up and move every hour. Heartburn continues to plague me, and enjoys waking me up late at night, forcing me to fumble around in the dark for a Tums. I cannot get comfortable, no matter where I am. I want to go home and wrap myself in my duvet, and sip hot chocolate with my dog by my side.
Shame about this chaotic work deadline and the fact that my maternity leave doesn't start for over two months. Help.
Monday, November 22, 2004
this n' that
Clothes that I pushed to the "pfffft, I can only wear this when I'm 9 months pregnant" section of my closet actually fit me. Clothes that were in my "this ought to fit me right up until the birth" section now don't fit me very well. I figure by February, I'll be wearing a duvet cover. Don't even get me started about the twelve different bra sizes I've got in my underwear drawer.
If I ever get any free time, I'm going to write a book entitled "A Guide to Pregnancy That Isn't Full of Cack". Chapters will include: "Yes, that's normal: Why your pregnancy isn't exactly like What to Expect When You're Expecting tells you it should be", "Not having morning sickness is a blessing, not a bad omen", "That one cup of coffee/sip of wine/slice of smoked salmon will not kill you or your unborn child", and "You're pregnant. You'll gain weight. Get over it." Of course, it's probably a better idea to write a book like this when I'm not irritable and easily annoyed.
I've just been enlightened about the concept of attachment parenting; I'd never heard of it before. As I understand it, this involves wearing the baby in a sling whenever possible, "co-sleeping" with the baby, avoiding frequent separations from your child, and letting the child decide when it's time to wean from breastfeeding. I don't get it. Is this another way to make working mothers and those who cannot/do not want to breastfeed feel like Bad Mothers? Although I'm all for bonding with your baby and believe that physical contact is very important, I cannot imagine having the baby tethered to me at all times and would be terrified of rolling over and crushing him if he was in bed with us. Truly, I do not get this concept at all.
And finally, my laugh of the day (from a pregnancy magazine): "By week 27, you may have gained up to 2kg by now!" I think I gained 2kg approximately 10 minutes after finding out I was pregnant, thanks.
Friday, November 19, 2004
hello in there!
Pip tends to get quite active when I'm stuck in meetings, and today was no exception. He was rolling around and kicking about, having a grand old time (I assume). I looked down at my belly during one of his more acrobatic moments, and I saw a kick from the outside! For the very first time, I saw a little protrusion that lasted only a second. It was amazing. And a bit strange, to be honest. You go months without really knowing that there's a baby in there (except when it's confirmed by scans and midwife appointments), then you start feeling movements and it becomes a lot more real, and then you can make out limbs poking your abdomen from the inside. Okay, there's definitely someone in there! I cannot stop looking down at my belly, hoping to catch another visible kick.
I keep reading about baby hiccups (I get a few "your baby this week" updates from various sites), but I'm not sure if I've felt this yet. I did feel a rhythmic "twinge" at one point today, that felt a bit like a muscle twitching for a few minutes. Maybe that was hiccups. Or gas.
My poor old esophagus is still being plagued by heartburn/acid reflux, which I have now accepted as normal for at least the next 14 weeks of my life. At least it's nice knowing that I get it no matter what I eat, so I can go ahead and eat my spicy food favourites with the same consequences. Ooh and chocolate too.
Damn, hungry now.
Monday, November 15, 2004
i've always wanted tight abs, but this is ridiculous
All weekend long, I felt as if my non-existent abdominal muscles kept flexing. It's not exactly painful, just uncomfortable. I have no idea if these are the "practice" Braxton Hicks contractions I've read about, but I think I'll chalk it up to doing too much hoovering and laundry.
I think that in a small way, the nesting instinct has kicked in early. I haven't got to the stage where I've decided to alphabetise our pantry or hose down the loft with Pine Sol, but my tolerance for mess seems to be lowering daily. I found myself wiping down surfaces with anti-bacterial wipes yesterday, thinking that I should rid the patio doors of unhygienic doggy nose-prints because they're not good for the baby. The baby that's not due for over three months, that is. Yerrrs.
I also have the urge to bake. Not sure what this has to do with having a baby, but it does make me pretty damn happy. The eating more than the baking, mind you.
Sunday, November 14, 2004
oh, how i love one stop shopping
We went to Kiddicare in Peterborough yesterday, and oh my, but it was good. Talk about a shop that has (almost) everything! I am very pleased to say that our little Pip now has: a travel system (which was much cheaper in the shop than listed on the site, because it's last season's colours), a nappy wrapper that seals up dirty nappies like a sausage, a Baby Bjorn Active carrier, a cot, and a changing mat. I am now the proud owner of: a baby bag, a breast pump, a nursing pillow, and a microwave steriliser. Paul's credit card is still fizzling and smoldering away in his wallet.
It's a huge relief and it's really exciting to see the nursery filling up with baby things. We still need quite a few bits and bobs (nappies, most importantly) but all of the big stuff has now been taken care of. I thought it would be much better to get it all done now while I still have the energy and inclination to shop, rather than fight through the Christmas crowds next month or wait until January when I'll be the size of a large sea mammal. Plus, it's been fun to get all giddy and say to each other "We're having a baby!" whilst playing with our new purchases.
We have booked our Parentcraft half day class and hospital tour for late January. I figured the later the better - if I try to absorb information about labour and delivery now, it'll all be gone by next month. We start our NCT classes on January 5th. It's not that long to go, really. Erk.
At least Pip doesn't have to sleep in a drawer, though.
Friday, November 12, 2004
how to use pregnancy to your advantage
This week, I've had three different people on three different occasions ask if I'm going to go into labour. How is this an advantage, you might ask? For all three situations, it was said in fear. For example, "You're not about to go into labour, are you?" after presenting a slightly stressful dilemma to me. I have decided that whenever a situation may get a bit harrowing or I am about to have more work dumped on me, I will clutch my belly and start making "hoo hoo hoo hoo!" breathing noises until my colleagues flee in terror. I am also going to try this in long queues and see if it gets me to the front more quickly. Will keep you all posted.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
heave ho
I think Pip's gained about 20 lbs. and he's filled my belly with cement. Everything aches and I feel like I'm carrying five bowling balls around with me, and I'm not just referring to the alarmingly large breasts I seem to be developing all of a sudden. When I sit down, I can feel whatever I've just eaten sitting in my stomach, which is now located approximately an inch below the bottom of my bra. I'm not sure if my belly is growing up, or my chest is sinking lower. I suspect a bit of both.
I think that babies must go through growth spurts, because it always feels like I get bombarded by various ills and woes all at once after days of feeling pretty darn good. Then one day I wake up and I can't roll over in bed without making an old lady noise. Actually, I can't move at all without making some sort of noise, and it's really disconcerting. I stand up from sitting down and it's "oooooof!", I sit down after standing up and it's "aaaaach", and I cannot get in and out of the car without making a huffy puffy breathy noise. And yes, I know I've got 15 more weeks to go and it'll just get a lot noisier.
On the plus side, I love that I can feel Pip all the time now and his kicks and jabs are getting stronger. Paul still hasn't been able to experience this for himself yet (Pip does have a knack for going quiet as soon as Paul gets within a foot of me), but I'm sure it'll be soon. Oh and big shopping this weekend - we're off to Kiddicare to get lots of stuff. Woooooooo!
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
aaaachoooooooooooooooooooo!
Of all the pregnancy weirdness I've read about, I've not come across this one: has anyone heard of allergies suddenly getting much worse or suddenly developing an allergy to something new? We went to visit our friends Russ and Debs this weekend, and they have a lovely little cocker spaniel called Jake. Jake's been to our house and vice versa numerous times over the past 2 1/2 years, and I've spent plenty of time with him. As far as I know, I've never been allergic to dogs - proven by the fact that Jasper has never bothered my allergies. My worst allergy is to cats, which not only makes me sneeze like a lunatic and rub my eyes out, I cannot breathe properly and my chest tightens to the point I start wheezing. So for no apparent reason, my allergies went ballistic this weekend. Unless Jake has been replaced by a cat donning a cocker spaniel suit, I am at a loss to explain this sudden reaction. We thought I might have been reacting to Deb's lovely bouquet of lilies she had on her windowsill, but then I noticed that the patch on my arm Jake had been lovingly slurping turned red and bumpy. When we left the house, I was fine after a few minutes. As soon as we returned, angry allergies came back.
I spent the night sitting up and coughing, trying to catch my breath (and cursing the fact that I can't take any allergy tablets). I'm fine now, and Jasper hasn't even made my nose itch so I assume I haven't suddenly developed a dog allergy. Strange.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
i'm eating for two (large truck drivers)
Had a lovely fun lunch with the Pregnant Ladies Club today, wherein I almost completely devoured a very large plate of fish and chips. The frightening thing is that right now, I'm still kind of hungry. Seeing as there is supposed to be less room as the baby grows, I'm not entirely sure where the fish and chips went. Perhaps I've grown a second stomach to accommodate the extra food intake.
Today's lunchtime discussion made me realise that we have lots of shopping left to do. So far, Pip has a jaunty outfit, a half dozen sleeping gowns, muslins (or rather, heavier duty cloths from Gerber we found in the States), two Snoopy dummies, a Snoopy pillow, two stuffed dogs, and a baby monitor. If he were to arrive today, he'd have to sleep in a drawer. Or in one of Jasper's beds. Hmmm. Not good. I know that there are several things that we don't need to get right away like a crib/cot (we're borrowing a moses basket from Gary and Ruth for the first few months), and anything related to solid food feeding, but we really do need to sort out a car seat and some sort of buggy/pram/travel system type thing...and nappies, wipes, bath/cleaning things, breastfeeding things, and items for my hospital bag. And a bag, for that matter. I felt like we have tons of time left but then talk about delivering early made me think that we might have less time than we think. Still, we have at least three months to get organised and we only really need to worry about the things that might have to be backordered like travel systems.
Oh yeah, and at some point, we've got to do some Christmas shopping. Gah.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
mind the bump
I keep forgetting to take pictures of my bump, so I threw the camera at Paul this morning (hence my wet head) and asked him to snap a pic for me. Here I am at 24 weeks today:
And now you can see why shaving my legs and painting my toes are no longer an easy feat. Last night while watching "Little Angels" on BBC3 (better to learn all about raising children now, you see), Pip gave me an almighty kick that I could most definitely feel from the outside. I rushed over next to Paul and placed his hand on my belly, waiting for the next kick. For the next several minutes, I could feel a few flutters and could feel him shifting around a bit, but nothing powerful enough for Paul to feel. Paul said not to worry because it won't be long now before he'll be able to feel the kicks for himself. Although I've enjoyed this secret method of communication between Pip and myself for the past couple of months, I am really eager for Paul to get in on it now too.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
the sun salutation might be a bit challenging
I have my first antenatal yoga class tomorrow evening, and I'm all agog. I absolutely love yoga but haven't done it in ages; I cannot wait to get back into it. I imagine that yoga for pregnancy involves a lot of deep breathing, gentle stretching, and something to do with the pelvic floor. What I always loved best about yoga was the meditation and relaxation aspects of it. Seeing as I've got this newfound tranquility happening lately, along with the yoga, I should slip nicely into deep relaxation. Or I'll fall asleep after the first 20 minutes, which is entirely possible these days.
Paul sorted through our finances and worked out how much we need to shell out to other people every month. I was really pleased and relieved to hear that we could live on one salary for as long as we need to. This is great news - up until this point, I just assumed that I could only afford to take six months off at the most. While I can't imagine never working again, I also can't imagine handing our baby over to someone 5 days a week. At least this way, I can choose to return to work later (i.e. after one year), return part time, become a contractor, or not return to work at all. That last option has a lot of appeal at the moment, I can tell you. This takes a huge load off my mind and I will be eternally grateful that I have a husband who is much, much better with money than I am. It's going to be very strange living off of someone else's salary. I've never done it before and I find the whole concept odd, but I suppose it's going to be a necessity. Paul said that I will still be working full time (and then some), just not at my desk at the office. So in this respect, I'm still earning a living, really.
It's funny, it's hard to think outside of the stereotypes sometimes. For example, while I was saying to Paul that I would hate to have our son in daycare during the months when he'll be changing the most and that I wouldn't want to miss out on anything, he rightly pointed out that only one of us won't be missing out. He'll be at work while I'll be at home for all of the "firsts", which I completely took for granted. Of course there's nothing saying that Pip won't take his first step in the evening or on the weekend when Paul's around, but I never really thought about how most fathers miss out on the important stuff. I think that's going to be hard on him.
I really admire my friend Tony who has begun working from home now that his wife has gone back to teaching (their son is now around 16 months old). How many Dads do that? How many Dads can do that? I think it's very cool. This isn't really an option for Paul because he's a manager and needs to be onsite at least part of the week, but I know he would take the opportunity if he could. So hurray to Tony who I know is thoroughly enjoying this special time with his son.
Monday, November 01, 2004
ohhhhmmmm
I've noticed something quite pleasant in the last couple of weeks - a sense of calmness. During quiet moments when I have time to think about how I feel, I've been surprised at how remarkably serene I've felt. Considering I'm in the midst of a big deadline at work (that will continue right up until I go on maternity leave), I'm amazed at how calm I am. Maybe this is the "glowing" part of pregnancy, and I'll feel at one with the world. Until I throw myself into a panic when I go into labour.
After a few days of thinking that Pip had gone very quiet on me, he's now back in full force. I feel kicks, prods, and tumbles from the time I wake up until I lie in bed reading at night. I cannot tell if he can be felt from the outside because whenever I put my hand on my tummy to check, he stops moving. Paul had his hand on my tummy for ages in bed last night, and as soon as he took his hand away, Pip started line dancing again. Little trickster.
As we inch our way towards kitting out the nursery, we bought a baby monitor on Saturday. Now we just need to buy a crib, car seat, buggy, nappy-related things, bedding, feeding-related things, nappies, and a bazillion other things. What was I saying about feeling calm and tranquil?