Monday, September 27, 2004
antici...pation
Just three more days until we get to take another peek at you, Pip. Then we need to send text messages to a bazillion friends and family who want to know if you're a mini Mummy or a mini Daddy. We are so happy that you were there with us on Saturday. Daddy even mentioned you in his speech, and some of the wedding cards were addressed to all three of us. I hope you don't mind flying too much, and I promise to try and get us the best seats on the plane - for your comfort, of course.
We cannot wait to see you again, little Pip.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
it's all good
I've come across quite a bit of negative things about being pregnant, giving birth, and coping with a baby. The "non-serious" books about motherhood talk about the less savoury aspects such as hair growing in odd places, enormous painful boobs, wanting to slap your partner with a spanner, and other such hormone-induced hilarity. "The Best Friend's Guide to Pregnancy" is full of sarcastic and somewhat bitter reflections on motherhood and how much you'll hate the man who impregnated you. You won't sleep again, just wait until the baby starts kicking you in the ribs, you'll always be covered in a fine layer of baby barf, and you'll never have sex again. I think I've heard and read it all in the short 6 weeks I've been out of the pregnancy closet.
Perhaps it's in our nature to complain. It's certainly easier to discuss the negative aspects of pregnancy rather than focus on the good stuff. Me, I like being pregnant and although some bits of it I could do without, I am thoroughly enjoying it. How very cool to think that there are two hearts beating inside of me right now, that there is a baby floating around in my womb, and in a few weeks I should be able to feel those first kicks and jabs. I've loved seeing my belly grow and feeling the first flutters. At night, I lie in bed and prod my abdomen, wondering if that little lump or bump I feel is Pip as it dissolves under my fingertips. Lately I've felt what I can only describe as a "thud"; a combination of sound and feeling that reminds me of attending concerts with loud drums or heavy bass, when I can feel a beat reverberate inside of me. I don't mind when people rub my belly (although at this point, only around three people have actually done this so maybe it'll become annoying later on when everyone feels compelled to do this). I like it when people ask how I'm doing; I'm not sure why this seems to be a pet peeve with a lot of pregnant women. Put very simply, I love being pregnant. It's really cool.
The more cynical people will say that this is probably due to the fact that I didn't spend 12 (or 40) weeks with my head down the toilet, and maybe they would be right. I know that it's mere luck that determined this outcome, and for that I'm grateful. I want to enjoy this unique experience without it being marred by misery. I know that I'll get huge and uncomfortable in later weeks. I know that labour and birth can be terrifying and indescribably painful. I know that our lives will change when the baby comes. But for now, I am blissfully happy...and so is Pip because I can feel him/her fluttering around at the moment. Very cool indeed.
Monday, September 20, 2004
not quite as fetching in a big fuzzy bathrobe
Here is my business idea - feel free to steal it as I'll probably never get around to it myself. We need to start a line of maternity lingerie. If it exists in this country, I've yet to find it. Sure we can buy underwear and bras in all shapes and sizes, but can we find anything silky and nice to wear to bed? Hell no. On my wedding night, I don't really want to wear cotton 2-piece pyjamas with long trousers, thank you. The babydoll is such a great shape for those of us with growing bellies; why don't they make them in maternity sizes?
If someone could get around to this by Saturday, that would be great. Thanks.
Thursday, September 16, 2004
hurry up and be born, already
I was telling Ruth last weekend that I cannot wait for the baby to be born. While we were playing with her beautiful daughter Naomi (and I'm not just saying that - her smile melts my heart), I realised how much I want to be able to hold and look at our baby. These brief, fuzzy, black and white glimpses (plus one bronzed glimpse in 3D) are fantastic, but I am dying to see our baby in person.
Gonna be a long 5 months.
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
giddyup!
When we went to see the doctor, he pressed what looked like a wooden funnel against my belly and said he could hear a nice, strong heartbeat. Hurrah, we said. Out of curiousity, I looked this funnely thing up and discovered that it's called a Pinard stethoscope. I also discovered that apparently you can't hear squat with it before 24 weeks. So what on earth did the doctor hear? In a slight panic, I emailed a UK midwives group and asked if it was possible to hear a fetal heartbeat at 16 weeks with this Pinard stethoscope. Three women (two midwives, one I'm not sure about) claimed that this was impossible at 16 weeks. Grand. So the doctor either heard my heartbeat and thought it was the baby's or he completely made the whole thing up. I felt sick; like when you discover that someone you trusted has conned you. Luckily, I had made an appointment with a midwife (mine's on holiday) with the intention of asking her to listen to the heartbeat with a doppler.
The midwife was absolutely lovely; enthusiastic, friendly, and kind. She assured me that you can indeed hear the heartbeat with the Pinard, but that she would use the doppler so that we could hear the heartbeat ourselves. Really, I asked? Even at 16 weeks? She said that she could and I could have the choice if I wanted her to use the Pinard. We both said no very quickly and told her how we hadn't heard the heartbeat yet (unlike everyone else in the universe who apparently gets to do this at least a dozen times by this point). As she started to explain that she might not hear it at first because the baby might not be in a good position, she stopped herself and said "Oh! There it is! Found it right away." At first, we just heard swooshing and other ambient noise, then, loud and clear, galloping. I turned to Paul and stated the obvious (something like "It's our baby's heartbeat!"), tears welling up in my eyes as the midwife very kindly held the doppler to my abdomen for quite a while. "That is SO cool!" I kept saying, and indeed, it was. Dida thump dida thump dida thump dida thump dida thump, oops baby's moved away, dida thump dida thump dida thump dida thump, at around 150 beats per minute. It was a beautiful sound.
So at least now I know that the midwife will listen to the heartbeat every time I visit the surgery, and if I ever want to hear it, I just need to make an appointment. But right now, I can still hear Pip galloping around inside me and will cherish that sound for a very, very long time.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
yet another way to prove that you are a bad mother
The BBC reported yesterday, "There is no safe amount of alcohol that mothers-to-be can drink, experts believe." Headlines in various newspapers proclaimed similar messages in big bold print, telling us that even one glass of wine will harm our unborn children. Oh no, wait. Is that what the articles infer? Sorry, we actually meant to say: "We do not want to panic any woman who is pregnant and may have had a couple of drinks. The chances are their child will be fine. But there is a risk if you drink alcohol during pregnancy. The only way you can be certain is to abstain from alcohol." So does anyone actually know anything about this topic and have studies to back up some data? Or are we just playing the "We have no clue, so it's better to just scare the bejeezus out of everyone so they avoid it completely" game?
It's just like the peanuts theory. Mum eats peanuts during pregnancy. Child develops peanut allergy. Therefore, eating peanuts causes peanuts allergies. Mum has a child who develops a behavioural problem such as ADD. Mum adheres to the recommended one to two units of alcohol per week limit during pregnancy. Therefore, drinking even this small amount of alcohol might be directly related to her child's ADD. What about all the Mums with allergic children or children with ADD who didn't drink and never touched a peanut? Ah, it was probably due to that cleaning product she used, or that extra tin of tuna she had, or maybe it was from standing too close to the microwave.
A spokeswoman from the Department of Health said: "We would be interested to see any further research in to this area but current evidence does not justify changing our advice." Personally, I would be interested to see further research rather than add another item to the vast list of Things That You Should Avoid At All Costs during pregnancy. In the meantime, I will very happily enjoy my one unit of wine at my hen night and another during our wedding, thankyouverymuch.
Friday, September 10, 2004
i'm glad my bump looks big in this
I love maternity clothes. I never thought I'd say that, but it's true. Instead of looking like Mrs. Claus, I actually look pregnant in maternity jeans. I like that - it makes my belly look like a nice rounded dome rather than this:
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which is what I look like in regular clothes. My "middle belly" hasn't popped yet, so I appear to have two big roly poly bellies. I think I figured it out this morning. Paul noticed that my belly has gotten very round just underneath my breasts, but my uterus should still just be a couple of centimeters below my belly button. So, the belly below the button is baby belly, and the belly above the button is fat that's now been smushed up there due to my expanding uterus. Or at least that's my theory about how my pregnant belly is working.
The heartburn returned yesterday, so I've been feasting on Tums. Except the purple ones. They're gross. I can't get to sleep; my brain goes full tilt until the wee hours while my exhausted body tells it to shut the hell up and go to sleep. My back really hurts, my bum gets numb when I sit in one position for too long, and for some reason, my contact lenses don't seem to work sometimes.
But all of this doesn't matter because I can feel Pip fluttering around in my lower belly and sometimes I feel a bit of pressure in one very localised spot like Pip's stretching an arm or a leg. That makes up for the aches and pains any day.
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
flashback
Going through my first pregnancy posts, I realised that I never really wrote about the very beginning: three days of pregnancy tests. It'll be fun, honest.
On Saturday, June 12, we were asked to babysit Jack and Heather's little girl, Rebecca. It was hot, I was in the dreaded "two week wait" (the time between ovulation and getting your period), and babysitting was a welcome distraction. I had been reading through pregnancy web sites earlier that week and came across a lengthy thread about when women got positive test results. I was waiting to test until the following Tuesday at the earliest, since the instructions on the ClearBlue digital test said I could test on the day my period was normally due. After reading several posts from women getting results much earlier with other tests, I went out and picked up some First Response Early tests. This test claimed you could use it up to four days before your period was due. Four days! Now that's what an impatient woman like me likes to hear.
So back to Saturday. That afternoon, I used the first test. I got a faint line; so faint, I was sure it was a figment of my imagination. I took it downstairs to Paul and he thought he could see a line too. Although this was all very exciting, I wasn't at all sure if this meant that I was pregnant. The next day, I took the second test and got another faint line. This time, it wasn't as difficult to see but I still rushed downstairs to show Paul to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. It was getting more exciting - the line was gradually getting darker! I cannot wait to pee on another test tomorrow! (No really, I did think that.) I popped over to Boots and picked up another box of tests and eagerly awaited the following morning. On Monday, sure enough, the line was a hint darker. Ooooooooooooooooh. Can I get excited now?
When we got back from work, I pulled out the big gun - the ClearBlue digital test. It has a screen that unmistakably displays a Pregnant or Not Pregnant message, no line interpretation needed. As I was trying not to pee all over myself and actually try to hit the 2mm stick (do they not realise that women simply cannot aim?!), Paul walked by the bathroom and asked what I was doing. I popped the cap on the test, sat it on the counter, and we waited. In less than a minute, the word Pregnant displayed merrily on the screen. Pregnant!! I squealed, jumped up and down, and said several "Ohmygawds" while Jasper wagged excitedly. Paul and I sat at the top of the stairs and beamed, then he hugged me tight. I am excited now.
I took a picture of the digital test (the display disappears after an hour) and couldn't wait to post it on this site. Six days before Father's Day, Paul knew he was going to be a Dad. We wouldn't have to wait until the honeymoon to start trying again, after all. I am thrilled and amazed, and a little bit stunned.
16 weeks today - and I am still thoroughly excited.
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
thumpity thump thump
My faith in doctorkind has been restored thanks to Dr. Whitten who turned out to be pretty much okay. After a bit of a wait (he got called out on an emergency just as we showed up, lucky us), he did a thorough exam and declared Pip and I fit and healthy. I am AB+, so no rhesus factor problems here. I am not anemic - although with the amount I eat, I would be amazed if I was deficient in any nutrient. My blood pressure is fine, I am just the right size for 16 weeks, and most importantly, Pip's heartbeat is nice and strong. Disappointingly, we didn't get to hear the heartbeat as the doctor used some sort of funnel-like device to listen. Apparently the midwife will let us hear with the doppler, but that's not until 24 weeks. Of course I'm thrilled that Pip's heartbeat was good (frankly I'm just thrilled that there was a heartbeat), but I was so looking forward to hearing it go thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa ourselves.
I felt like the doctor knew what he was talking about and took a lot of time to check me over. He asked me if I felt any foetal movement yet, and I mentioned the fluttering; we both agreed that it's hard to tell when it's your first baby. He said that it can be felt anywhere from 16 weeks onwards, but when I said it was a sensation I've never felt before, he agreed that it must indeed be foetal activity. That was nice - I half expected any doctor to look at me like I was insane or laugh when I mentioned these flutters at this point.
So, overall, it's been a good experience. I am still jealous of friends who live mere miles away from me who seem to have a bazillion more midwife visits, scans, and doppler experiences than me...but I'm certainly happy knowing that Pip's in there thumpa thumpa thumpa-ing away nicely.
Monday, September 06, 2004
a little patience
Tosha found out today that her little one is a boy! Conchita and I enviously admired her scan photos and both of us declared that our next scans were much too far into the future. For me, it's not just finding out the gender, but also getting the more detailed scan to make sure that Pip is okay. Unfortunately, that won't happen until we return from honeymoon on Oct. 14; I assume the people at Fetal Fotos won't be able to tell if there's anything wrong.
It's such a strange process. I breathed a huge sigh of relief after the first scan but am now feeling like it's been a million years since then. I'll probably feel better after my GP appointment tomorrow if he tries to listen to the heartbeat (even better if we get to hear it too), and I cannot wait to do the scan in San Diego, but I won't feel completely at ease until the detailed scan at 21 weeks...which feels like a million years away.
Patience was never one of my strong points. Can you imagine what I'll be like around my due date? Gads.
Sunday, September 05, 2004
you can never have too many dogs
Presenting Pip's very first toy!
I really didn't want to buy anything until after my next scan, but I spotted this at Mothercare yesterday and had to get it. It's the softest cuddly toy I've ever felt, and it's a dog that rattles - what more could you possibly want? The rattle puppy is sitting in the nursery waiting for Pip's arrival in February. In the meantime, I've got to try and stop Jasper from licking and chewing the poor thing. Jasper's decided that he's also rather fond of rattle puppy, so he'll have to stay out of Jasper's reach for a while.
Friday, September 03, 2004
am i glowing yet?
I am so tired of reading messages from women (on various pregnancy web boards) moaning about gaining weight. You're pregnant, for goodness sake! Of course you're gaining weight! I think what really gets my goat (if I had a goat to get) are women who complain because they've put on a whole 3-5 lbs. in the first trimester. Honey, I can gain that in an afternoon in front of the TV. Amateurs. In a similar vein, I want to scream when I see a woman brag about not having gained weight or only having gained x amount of pounds. While I can understand being pleased about not putting on the equivalent to a sack of potatoes every week during pregnancy (truthfully, I'm amazed that I've not put on as much as I thought I would so far), but I draw the line when women get smug about it. Whatever you do or don't gain, most of it is out of your control and is this really the time to worry about your figure? Heck no.
Oh I am so glad it's the weekend and what's even better, we have nothing planned (just a bit of shopping tomorrow). In the weeks leading up to the wedding, we've got so much to do. I seriously do not recommend the pregnancy/wedding/work deadlines combination - it's a tad stressful. I am so grateful to be with Paul; he's made it his mission to ensure that my stress levels stay at a minimum. Three more weeks to go...
Thursday, September 02, 2004
picky, picky
The writer in me can't get over the fact that my pregnancy ticker on the top of this page says that I am "15 weeks and 1 days" pregnant. Tsk, honestly.
In other news, the fatigue and nausea seems to have resurfaced for some reason. Yay. I think the nausea is due to a decreasing lack of room; I've been feeling less like I've eaten too many cakes and more like I've got a bag of wet flour inside me, so baby/uterus must be getting much bigger. I can't bend over quite as easily any more because it feels like there's something in the way now - which there is, obviously, but you see what I mean. Fat is squishy and moves out of the way when you bend. Baby is not squishy and makes you feel like you need to hurl when you bend.
May I also just mention again that the receptionists at my surgery are complete cows? I just rang to make my first antenatal appointment with the GP and one of the permanently surly receptionists said, "I'vegotThursdayat2nameplease." "Um hold on," I said. "Thursdays aren't good for us - is that the earliest you've got?" She said yes, and as I started to explain that I needed another day, she interrupted with "nameplease" in the same hurried I-really-can't-be-arsed-to-be-polite-to-you tone of voice. "Wait wait wait! I need an appointment on Tuesday, Wednesday, or Friday," I said to the receptioncow. "Tuesday at 2. Nameplease." So you did have something earlier, you miserable wotsit. To be fair, there is one - and I mean one - very nice receptionist who answered the phone when I rang once. His name is Michael and he sounds American (which might explain why he's actually polite in a customer service matters kind of way), and he knew what I was talking about right away. Must remember to ring back and ask for him specifically next time. Cow avoidance tactics.
Did I also mention that the moody/sensitive/weepy hormones have resurfaced again too?
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
dream interpretation 101
Last night I had a dream that I found out our baby is a boy. For some reason, they had to remove the baby from me, but he was perfectly fine and protected by a clear sac. I could hold him in my hands and see exactly what he looked like, and a technician or nurse of some sort told me that the baby was a boy. So this either means that a) I had a premonition about the sex of our baby or b) I am now officially in the "weird pregnancy dreams" phase. I vote for b.
I have moved away from sweet cravings on to spicy food cravings. I don't feel the need to stuff my face with chocolate and cake anymore, but I do feel the need to put chillis and tabasco in everything. Last night: enchiladas. Tonight: fajitas and nachos. Olé!
I have confirmed my scan booking in San Diego four weeks from tomorrow. That's just four weeks until I find out if my dreams are correct (I have a 50/50 chance, really) and until we get another peek at Pip. Cannot wait!