Sunday, August 29, 2004
shapeshifter
For some strange reason, my bump seems to have elevated itself recently. I present to you exhibit A:
At my age, nothing ever migrates north, so this is a welcome change.
Friday, August 27, 2004
busy bee
I can feel the little fluttery rumbly movement in my tummy again right now, and I'm sitting in the same position as yesterday when I felt the same thing. I don't care if it might be gas, I'm going to cherish this moment. I have a feeling that Pip is ricocheting around my womb after that bag of Kit Kat Kubes I just ate. Whee!
Pip must be going through a growth spurt right now because all sorts of symptoms and pregnancy hormone-related things have just started up again very recently. It started with a zit (how retro - very 80s), and now I'm revisiting the stressed/anxious/irritable/weepy phase I experienced in the early weeks. My stomach hurts when I sneeze, which doesn't sound too bad, but keep in mind that it's allergy season right now. I cannot sleep (and not just because I need the loo every hour) and I oscillate between wanting to hug people to wanting to slap them with a wet carp. I cannot imagine how much fun I must be right now.
Oooh still fluttering! Hope you're having fun in there, my little jumping bean.
Thursday, August 26, 2004
moving
I keep feeling these odd fluttering sensations lately (always during the day when I'm sitting up). It's almost like there are little tiny earthquakes happening in my tummy or Pip's got a little drum in there.
Is it just gas? I bet it's just gas. Damn.
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
beautiful
My lovely friend Julie Dubya pointed out this page to me today, saying it reminded her of me. I love pregnant bellies; I always have. Although I'm never going to look like this woman, I am looking forward to having a big round belly.
Of course ask me about this again at around 39 weeks, and I bet I won't be quite as excited about having an igloo-sized tummy.
vive le waist stretchy!
God, I love maternity trousers. I only have one pair of stretchy jeans courtesy of Susan via Heather (the "over the bump" panel jeans are way too big for my bump at this point) and they are fab. I can eat whatever I want and not have the need to undo my trousers afterwards! How excellent is that? Although I complained about feeling fat recently (I really do hate looking fat vs. pregnant), it's been lovely to have a reason for my waist expansion other than eating too many chocolate bars. For the first time in ages, I'm not depressed when clothes don't fit me. Maybe I'm in denial and this really is just a big wodge of fat and not baby bump, but I don't really care. This is the one time in a woman's life when she is praised for getting big. I am going to enjoy it.
You are 14 weeks old today, little Pip. In just over 5 weeks, we will find out if you're a Pip or a Pipette. More importantly, we get to have another peek at you! Please remember, this is no time for modesty - don't be shy of the lady with the big machiney thing trying to get a look at your nether regions.
To be totally honest, I will be thrilled with a boy or a girl. I truly have no preference, and neither does Paul. I do tend to get all weepy/broody when I see little girl things, but I think it's not really instinct telling me that I'm carrying a girl - I think it's just because girly things are so darn cute. Some people seem puzzled that I want to know the gender of our baby (I say "I want to know" because Paul was happy either way), but I just never really felt the need to be surprised. I would rather refer to our baby as a she or a he rather than an "it" if I can. I'm also the most impatient person in the world, so there was no getting around this, really.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and think happy labour-encouraging thoughts for Mandy who is now officially overdue. Her little one must be very comfy in there!
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
pass the porkies
So when do you stop looking like you ate all the pies and start looking like you're pregnant and have a reason to be fat and waddly? Seriously, this in-between stage is really starting to depress me. I'm very tempted to get into maternity wear and shove a pillow down my pants. Feh.
Monday, August 23, 2004
but i'm still avoiding ladders and black cats
Even though I'm quite superstitious about buying baby things this early on (i.e. I will not buy baby things this early on), I have actually bought my very first baby-related thing: a photo album. I wanted somewhere to put my scan pictures and any other pregnancy bits and bobs like my antenatal notes, so I purchased an album the other day. So it's just one item and it's only a photo album, right? Well yes, but now I'm finding myself cutting out little shapes from colourful paper and using funky markers to make notes - and it's only got the scan images in it so far.
Heaven help me when I actually start buying baby things and doing up the nursery. I'll probably end up hand painting a rendition of the Sistine Chapel on the ceiling featuring Teletubbies.
Friday, August 20, 2004
bumpity bump bump
Presenting the first official photo of Pip and me at 13 weeks, 2 days:
Amazingly, I cannot fit into maternity clothes yet (hurrah) and I can still get away with regular clothes, one size up. For now.
Thursday, August 19, 2004
sneak preview
After we found out that our hospital won't tell us the gender of our baby, I joked about getting a scan done in the States while we're on honeymoon. I didn't actually think I could wander into a hospital and get a scan done on the spot, but then it also didn't occur to me that I could get a 3D scan at one of the many imaging centres around the US. I am the first to admit, 3D scans are rather strange looking (I often equate it with dipping your child in bronze), but it would allow us to know the gender earlier (than the 24 week scan we would have to order and pay for ourselves here) and get a few funky 3D images at the same time. I came across this place yesterday, and I am seriously thinking of booking a scan here when we're near San Diego in late September. It would cost around £80, and considering 3D scans go for around £200-300 here, it's quite the bargain.
I know that I'm just being impatient, but I think I'm being practical, too. We wanted to do some baby-related shopping in the States, and it would be handy to know the sex of our baby while we're out there (and at the beginning of our trip, which is jolly handy). I really don't like yellow and don't care to inflict it on our child. Come to think of it, I don't like pink either - our little girl would probably wear red.
I know, I'm so difficult.
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
warning: do not operate heavy machinery
According to my weekly email from Pampers.com:
"No one is sure why, but many women feel scatterbrained when they're pregnant. So don't be surprised if you find yourself losing your keys or stashing the mail in the freezer."
Don't I know it. So far, I've: showered with my glasses on (long enough to have lathered and rinsed my hair before I noticed), fallen asleep with my contacts in (I never did this even when very, very drunk), and our cupboards are full of duplicates and triplicates of things I bought but forgot we already had. I cannot remember anything without writing a list, and then I forget where I put the list.
Yes, I know this will only get worse after the baby arrives. I will probably tie one end of a string to Pip and the other to my wrist so I know where s/he is at all times.
Sunday, August 15, 2004
not going by the book
The further along in pregnancy you get, the more you realise that a lot of what you read in pregnancy books is an enormous bucket of caca. To be fair, no one could write a book that would accurately describe your pregnancy, but I would like to see less of the "Welcome to week x! By now, you should be going through a, b, and c!" sort of thing. In real life, by week x, you might be going through c, but a and b never happen and good lord, what is this e, f, and g that's going on?? Please, pregnancy book/web site authors, never tell women that they "should" be experiencing any particular symptoms. It's annoying and in the early weeks, frightening if you're going through something completely different.
I'm now in the "honeymoon phase" of pregnancy, which has indeed been more enjoyable than the first few weeks. Mind you, the first few weeks weren't exactly horrible, but the really uncomfortable stuff seems to have faded away. I still need to wear a bra at all times (honestly, bigger boobs was not something I needed), but I'm not as tired and don't get nauseous anymore. Our little Pip is 70mm long (that's almost 3 inches), which is a long way from the apple seed size s/he was when the nickname was first born.
It took a couple of days to sink in, but after the scan, I am now truly enjoying being pregnant. I cannot stop rubbing my belly and I'm not that bothered that my clothes are getting tight again. My tummy seems to have exploded overnight and I suddenly have a big round bump where before there was simply a roll of fat (not sure if it's an improvement or not; I'll get back to you on that one). I said to Paul, it's almost like when a bloke is trying to impress a girl and holds his stomach in, then lets out a huge breath once they're better acquainted and releases his beer belly. Now that everyone knows that I'm pregnant, I've stopped sucking in and my bump is now hanging over the top of my trousers. Nice image, that.
Here's hoping the bump doesn't expand too much in the next six weeks, or else I'll be wearing a toga to our wedding.
Friday, August 13, 2004
our little star of the screen
Presenting, Pip!
I promise you, that is actually a baby (a second scan pic is on my main blog site). Pip was very quiet for the entire scan, moving only when I was asked to cough (I thought only men did that in exams). The baby was snuggled into a little space in my womb, and taking after its mother, really couldn't bother to be entertaining at 8.20 in the morning. The lovely ultrasound lady first told us that there was only one baby in there, and then pointed out the heartbeat. That's when I burst into tears that didn't stop flowing for the duration of the scan. Pip has two arms and two legs, is measuring 13 weeks and 1 day (I should be 12 weeks and 2 days, so I'm building one big kid), and was kind enough to give us a bit of a wave. Lovely ultrasound lady gave us two scan images (we only asked for one) and spent a lot more time making sure all was well than I think most do at the first scan.
We're so relieved and it's really nice to finally be able to go "public". Now I think I can just enjoy being pregnant. Well done, little Pip.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
i thought we were supposed to avoid rollercoasters
I'm going through so many emotional ups and downs lately. The scan is tomorrow, which is both exciting and terrifying at the same time. I'm overjoyed at the thought of seeing the baby, but worried that something will go horribly wrong. What if they don't find a heartbeat? (I really, really, really wish I hadn't read anything about missed miscarriages.) What if there's something very wrong with the baby?
This is supposed to be an exciting, magical time for us. I hate that it's marred by this anxiety. It sucks that I can't just look forward to it and eagerly anticipate emailing scan pictures to our friends and family. At least I've got an early morning appointment and the suspense will be over sooner rather than later. My brain knows that I've had no indication that anything's wrong so far, but my heart (which is generally ten times larger than my brain most days) won't allow me to sleep tonight and is giving me indigestion and nausea.
I'd like to just enjoy being pregnant now, please.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
to Pip
I realised today that this blog is filled with nothing but how I'm feeling about my pregnancy and various ranty posts about pregnancy-related things. I haven't really discussed how I'm feeling about the little one inside me, and I think it's high time I did.
I've reached week 12 today (wooohoooo!), and as the weeks go by, I feel more relaxed about being pregnant and more comfortable making future plans. I'm sure this will increase tenfold if all goes well at Friday's scan. When I first found out that I was pregnant, I was completely over the moon but it all seemed very surreal. My first words to Pip were "Stay in there!! Stay!", half joking but half worried that this would be one of the 25% of pregnancies that ends in early miscarriage. The weeks went by, more pregnancy symptoms began to show, and I actually started feeling pregnant. The baby became "Pip" and Paul started patting my belly and talking into it. I began to rub and hold my belly almost constantly, unconsciously, and felt an immense sense of joy when I read that Pip is now around two inches long. Two inches! Pip is becoming less of a tadpole and more of a tiny human baby. Pip is now more real to people other than just us; in fact, many refer to the baby as Pip as well. I have already started feeling that maternal instinct to throw myself in front of a moving train to protect my child and to beat the crap out of anyone who may cause harm. I cannot wait to see Pip on the ultrasound, and I truly cannot wait to see our baby in person.
You are already so sincerely loved. What a nice way to come into the world.
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
nuts to you
I keep coming across messages on pregnancy web boards from women wondering what they can and can't eat (American and UK), and I am constantly amazed by the answers/advice these women are getting. I've seen several women advise others to avoid all fish completely, don't have any caffeine whatsoever (ditto alcohol), avoid all cheese, and for god's sake, don't even come within 20 feet of a peanut. Obviously, what you choose to eat and avoid is a personal decision. Some women simply don't feel comfortable eating certain foods or drinking (I am still too chicken to drink any alcohol at this point), and I can respect that. What's starting to hack me off is the conflicting and/or vague information that's out there; it's no wonder so many women are confused. I am avoiding the obvious culprits: soft cheeses, raw/undercooked eggs, precooked meats (that aren't reheated), liver (um...not like I actually ate that before pregnancy), and undercooked meats and fish. I would probably eat rare tuna and scallops if I had a decent source of seafood, but I am not going to trust the stuff that's sitting at the fish counter at Tesco. I try to limit the amount of fizzy drinks or juice made with sweeteners, and I have cut down on the caffeine simply because I feel hyper and sleepless enough without it, thanks.
Now, about nuts. I know every book and web site I've read said to avoid it if you or your partner has allergies. The thing is, I'm just not convinced that this is more than a theory. I have allergies, and my kids will likely get them too because allergies can be hereditary - regardless of whether or not I enjoyed some peanut butter on toast whilst pregnant. Has anyone been able to link peanut eating to an increase in peanut allergies, or is it just that allergic Mums have allergic kids and this might include a peanut allergy?
I understand that we need to be as safe and cautious as possible during pregnancy, but it seems like the more we know, the more paranoid we become. I have seen too many messages from women convinced that they are bad mothers (not in a "bad muthas" Samuel L. Jackson kind of way) because they have unintentionally broken one of the gazillion food sins. We've got enough stress as it is, what with all the worrying about every ache and pain and wondering if that day we were really stressed out at work will affect our unborn children somehow. I would still like to enjoy my food without wondering if it'll make our child sprout an extra head.
Thursday, August 05, 2004
peeeyewwwww
I've just entered the "Ohmygawd, what STINKS?" phase of pregnancy. It's not that scents that never used to bother me are suddenly offensive, I just seem to have developed an incredibly keen sense of smell. I'm not sure what benefit this has during pregnancy (perhaps I can now smell danger coming from miles away and can move myself and my unborn child to safety?), but it's not very nice. Especially when it gets to the point that I have to run away from Jasper whenever he's wet. Pleh, wet dog.
I have also just entered the "must pee every 20 minutes" phase, which has been a bucket of laughs. On the plus side, it doesn't happen much at night and it must show that I'm drinking enough water throughout the day. Go me!
I just passed the 11 week mark, which is great news. I am thisclose to completing the first trimester and I will oh so relieved once that's behind me. Until I start thinking about giving birth. Gah.
Monday, August 02, 2004
baby's first portrait
I got a letter in the post today from the hospital confirming my first scan appointment. It's on Friday the 13th, which hopefully isn't a bad sign. It would be rather startling to see the baby wearing a hockey mask and wielding a chainsaw during the ultrasound. I'm actually pretty excited (understatement) and very relieved to finally have a scan date. The pamphlet that came with my letter explained that "time is restricted" during scans and they cannot identify the sex of the baby because they "prefer to use the time to scan for physical abnormalities". I suppose that sounds more diplomatic than "we won't check the sex of your baby because you might be some weird religious fanatic and terminate the pregnancy if it's not a boy".
I am hoping that the Rosie has another ultrasound teaching session soon, because they do a very thorough (1 hour) scan and point out several important details to the medical students in attendance. Tosha at work had this done, and not only did they check the nuchal fold (this is something I would have to pay extra for), they took a guess at the sex of her baby and did a thorough check of things like the baby's brain and internal organs. As an added bonus, you get paid for your time (just a fiver, but what the heck) and it allows you a one hour look into your womb rather than the quickie scans you normally get. I think I may have missed my chance as they probably only do these sessions a couple of times a year, but I'll keep an eye peeled.
Things are going swimmingly (touch wood) and my only complaint is that I get very tired easily (touch wood again). I seem to have regained my taste for meat, but my sweet tooth is still there with a vengeance. This is supposed to indicate that I'm carrying a girl, but then I have headaches and no morning sickness which is supposed to indicate a boy. So going by this, I think I have a 50% chance of having a girl, and a 50% chance of having a boy. Give or take.
I hope my kid doesn't inherit my smartarse gene.