Friday, July 30, 2004
pregnant lady, coming through
I've started to notice that I've become a lot more protective of my belly and the general state of my health since becoming pregnant. That's perfectly normal, you might say. Yes, but probably not when it gets to the point that you spend a lot of time in your car swearing at people for not being considerate to your unborn child. For example, I followed a guy down the road the other day with an alarming cloud of black smoke pouring out of his exhaust. The smell saturated the inside of my car as I frantically switched the air flow to circulate the air within the car (instead of taking it from outside). All I could think was "Get your exhaust fixed, you jerk! The fumes coming out of your crappy car might harm my baby!" as I muttered rude words at him hoping he'd turn off the road soon. I have the same reaction to anyone who stops suddenly or swings out in front of me, nudges me with their elbow in the tummy by accident at Tesco, smokes within 20 feet of me, or wears an obscene amount of perfume. All of you - stop potentially harming my foetus! You don't see me leaking pregnancy hormones all over your carpet, do you?? BAH.
But I am feeling a lot less irritable and cranky lately, honest.
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
what's in a name?
I am starting to think that some people come up with baby names by rummaging through Scrabble tiles and randomly picking letters. On one of the web boards I read, a woman posted a message discussing the following potential baby names:
aiken tam
espen rune
jubal sulo
kaio cosme
larkin muir
loki rune
piran kjell
solen rune
tavin dai
thurin sulo
torin boaz
Apparently these are boy names, and both parents are American (i.e. as far as I know, these names do not have cultural significance). Indeed.
I keep forgetting to mention our nickname for the baby: Pip. This came about when I was reading something in the early weeks that said our baby was the size of an apple seed, and Paul decided to start calling the baby Pip. This always reminds me of a Dickensian character on South Park who says "My name is Phillip, but people call me Pip...because they hate me." Needless to say, I love the nickname but it will definitely not appear on the birth certificate.
In other weird news, another workmate is pregnant! She had her first scan yesterday and made the news "public" - and she is due 9 days before me. There must be something in the drinking water.
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
bonus!
My god, but my nails are gorgeous right now. This is one side effect of pregnancy I can live with, thanks.
Monday, July 26, 2004
meet the midwife
Paul, Jasper and I met Pat the midwife (and student midwife Emma), who turned out to be a bit better in person. She was still quite stern, in a school marm kind of way, but I felt that she knew her stuff - she's a senior midwife, after all. It ends up that she will see me throughout my pregnancy but I will see another team of midwives for the actual birth. I may or may not get a chance to meet these midwives, which is slightly disconcerting. It seems that this is my only choice; there is no "domino scheme" or "team midwifery" that I had been reading about. Everything else was as I expected, except for the surprising news that my hospital has a policy of not telling you the sex of your baby during scans. For that, you go in for another scan at 24 weeks and you must pay extra for it. I've never heard of this sort of policy before, but there you go. Otherwise, we mostly filled out paperwork and I answered a lot of questions about my medical history. My first scan will be at 12 weeks where they will also do some blood and urine tests.
I do feel a bit better now that I've actually seen someone about this pregnancy. I feel like things are moving along and that this is more real in a way. The first scan doesn't seem as far away and woohoo, I'm moving into double digits on Wednesday - 10 weeks and counting! Life, as they say, is good.
I still have an aversion to eating meat (although I actually ordered a roast beef dinner last night with a chicken and prawn starter), and I seem to have developed a huge, loud, and demanding sweet tooth. I will only want to eat a bit of toast for breakfast and maybe a bagel for lunch, but stick some cake or biscuits in front of me and they'll be gone in seconds. This isn't to say that I'm not eating healthy amounts of non-sugary food, but I just have more of an appetite for the sugary stuff. This supposedly means I'm having a girl but then the lack of morning sickness is supposed to indicate a boy. Maybe I'm having a very girly boy or a butch girl. 'Scuse me while I get an ice cream - that's dairy so it counts as healthy food, right?
Sunday, July 25, 2004
this n' that
Just a bit of an update on me and my pregnant self. Only had one difficult time last week when I started getting really uncomfortable cramps on one side. They only lasted from the time we left work until a few hours later, but they scared the life out of me. During this time, I remembered the incredibly unhelpful section in "What to Expect When You're Expecting" that discusses ectopic pregnancy cramping. It states that cramps may or may not be intermittent, and they might radiate across the abdomen or remain localized. That's great, thanks for clearing that up for me. These were intermittent cramps that certainly weren't causing me to double over in agony, but they were a lot more uncomfortable than any cramping I'd experienced before. I sat there at dinner feeling terrified to move and waiting for the next cramp to come, until I burst into tears telling Paul that I didn't want anything bad to happen. He held me and told me he wouldn't let anything bad happen and magically, the cramps subsided. So who knows - was it gas, a pulled muscle, or regular ligament stretching? Oh, the drama.
I've decided that cramping is only something to worry about if it's severe and accompanied by bleeding. Otherwise, it's probably just part of the normal pains we go through when pregnant. Doesn't make it any less scary, though.
Only two more weeks until the first scan; I really cannot wait. Just knowing that the baby is in there with its little heart beating away will make a world of difference. Until then, I have taken my mind off things by buying large amounts of new clothing (regular clothes in larger sizes - I'm not tempted by those "cute" maternity clothes yet) and by going out for dinner tonight. Oh and playing with puppies for four hours. That's a definite mood lifter.
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
give us a smile
Gary, Ruth, and baby Naomi came to visit us on Sunday. Jasper was very well behaved with her, even when she was sitting on the floor, although he couldn't resist giving her hands a thorough licking. All we could hear were delighted squeals and giggles coming from Naomi, as I offered apologies to her Mum and Dad for any dog germs she may have ingested. She's such a happy little girl; it is so lovely when she gives me a smile.
As a parent, it must feel so fantastic when your child smiles at you. I love how babies grin and their faces light up when they're returned to Mummy or Daddy, and the joy you feel when it's your baby grinning back at you must be indescribable.
I really can't wait for moments like that, although in the first few months, I do realise it'll probably just be gas.
Saturday, July 17, 2004
okay, okay - I feel pregnant now
I felt like hell on Thursday, had a horrible night and not much sleep that night, and a crap day yesterday. I had a throbbing headache for two days, the heartburn and nausea returned, I did something odd to my neck, and I have pains down my arms into my fingers (it's probably my RSI getting worse). I was clumsy, tired, moody, weepy, and felt like I was constantly on the verge of a panic attack. I can't sleep without a fan blowing on me, which doesn't really help anyway because I'm waking up every hour to take a Tums for the heartburn, drink some water, or get up to pee. I'm afraid to say how I feel today just in case I jinx myself again, so I'll just say that I'm not worried about not feeling pregnant.
The midwife rang me yesterday, and unfortunately, the first impressions weren't great. She kept insisting that I sounded surprised and seemed to take great amusement in going on about it. This was all based on the following: "Hello, this is Pat, the midwife." "Oh, yes - hello!" (in a pleased/relieved/nice to hear from you way). This led to several remarks about how shocked I sounded, with a slight tinge of disbelief when I explained several times that no one had actually told me what would happen next and perhaps maybe that's why I seemed taken aback slightly. So after minutes of this stimulation conversation, she finally got round to business and explained that she would be meeting me at home. She gave me a date and time, I said it would be no problem, and I asked her a bit more about what to expect. Specifically, I wanted to know what sort of checks she'd be doing as all she mentioned was filling out paperwork. She said she'd give me a blood and urine test (I'm guessing the former is to check for rubella immunity and blood type, and the latter is to check for infection and gestational diabetes) and check my blood pressure. I asked if she would try to listen for the baby's heartbeat, which was met with laughter and the comment that "it's a tad early for that". Mmmmmkay.
I'm thinking that perhaps she doesn't come across well on the telephone and/or my hormones are making me more sensitive than usual. I've asked Paul to try and get a good assessment of her when she comes for her visit, although he admitted that he found her strange on the phone as well (when she rang, Paul asked who was calling which seemed to really throw her for a loop). Thankfully, I don't think I'm under any obligation to go with this particular midwife, but we'll just have to see how it goes.
In the meantime, I'm just going to sit here quietly and wait for the second trimester to arrive.
Thursday, July 15, 2004
words of wisdom
If you ever feel worried because you're not having any pregnancy symptoms, you should blog about it because the following day, you'll get lots of them. I feel like an enormous bucket of something really unpleasant today - cramps, horrible headache, nausea, weepy, irritable, the works. It's a bit like lighting a cig to make the bus come. I think the next time I feel good, I'll just keep my big blog shut.
Here's another bit of advice: don't say something stupid to a pregnant lady because it'll really piss her off. Allow me to explain. In general, the pregnant lady is slightly emotional due to the surge of pregnancy hormones, or Hcg. Hcg can make one feel more prone to irritability and may even make one more sensitive than usual. Hcg can also cause the pregnant lady to call you bad names and threaten to save up Jasper poo and deposit it in a flaming bag on your doorstep. You should try to avoid insensitive or flippant comments when speaking to the pregnant lady, for your own safety.
Thank you, and have a lovely day.
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
is there anybody in there?
Heather asked me if I was still feeling nauseous and how I was feeling in general. I should be thinking, "I feel grand! This pregnancy thing is like a walk in the park! Lucky, lucky me, I don't have my head in a toilet! Wheeeeee!" but instead, I feel like it's not normal to feel okay. I simply don't feel pregnant some days - more often than not lately - and on the most part, I don't have many symptoms. It's like I'm still me, but fatter and a bit more tired.
I wish someone would let me know that the baby's okay, even if it just means hearing a heartbeat. As the days go by, I am becoming far more excited about becoming a mother, which makes me far more nervous about losing the baby. (I hate that phrase, by the way. It sounds like I'm going to misplace our child under the sofa cushions.) The midwife is supposed to see me at 10 weeks, but I've yet to hear from her. So in the meantime, I have to assume that everything is okay as long as I'm not doubled over in pain and/or bleeding.
It's going to be a very long two weeks.
Monday, July 12, 2004
start spreading the news
We gave Paul's parents their "special" anniversary card on Friday night, and they were thrilled (although at first, Paul's Mum thought the card was from the dog). I rang my parents the following morning to give them the news, and they were equally thrilled. We spread the word on Sunday to Paul's other family members, which was met with a variety of reactions from a reserved "Oh, how nice" response to a giggly "I'm so excited! Can I be a godmother?" response. I wasn't surprised by the more reserved reactions because a) you can't expect gleeful squealing from older English people and b) I'm certain that there was an element of wondering if this was planned and/or if getting pregnant before marriage was a good thing. We got lots of "That was quick!" comments as well, but on the most part, people were simply happy for us. Thankfully, no one told me their pregnancy/birth horror stories or offered me any unsolicited advice. I'm sure this will come later.
Being the fretful pregnant lady that I am, part of me is now even more worried about things going wrong because we've "gone public". It's like saying it out loud is going to jinx it somehow. It's such a catch 22; I was bursting to tell people but now that we have, I'm feeling like something bad is going to happen.
When do the pregnancy hormones stop making you feel like a lunatic?
Friday, July 09, 2004
not really the image i was going for
So as I was making lunch today, I realised that I was standing in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. Just call me Lurleen and stick me in a trailer park.
We're seeing Paul's parents this weekend and will be spilling the baby beans tomorrow. We are going to give them a card that says "Happy anniversary, Nanny and Granddad" on the front with "See you in February!" on the inside. Naff? Maybe, but I thought it was sweeter than just blurting it out at the dinner table. Paul joked that he was slightly hesitant about telling his parents, after growing up with the fear of one day having to tell your Mum and Dad that you've knocked up your girlfriend. I wish there was a more creative way to tell my parents, but because of the distance, I'll have to resort to a phone call. We'll tell his brothers and their families on the Sunday, and then we'll probably tell a few more close friends next week. We won't tell anyone else at work until after the first scan (mid August, I hope). After that point, I'll probably tell anyone who'll listen.
After boasting that I'm feeling perfectly fine lately, I've felt like utter crap today. That'll teach me...but it does reassure me when I actually feel pregnant. Now where's that crystallised ginger?
Thursday, July 08, 2004
pass the tofu
For some reason, I can't stomach meat at the moment. This is rather odd considering the first two weeks I couldn't get enough red meat. I craved bolognaise sauce, steak, hamburgers, roast beef, and lamb - almost daily. Now, even chicken is unappealing. On Monday when we went out for our anniversary dinner, I really wanted to try the lamb or the lovely sounding Aberdeen beef, but I just couldn't stomach the thought of actually eating it. I ended up going for the chicken, which I did manage to eat but only after I had taken the skin off. On Tuesday, I made a Thai chicken curry. I picked all the bits of chicken out and devoured the veggies and rice instead. Paul made one of my favourites last night, fajitas, and every mouthful of chicken made me cringe. I filled my second fajita with peppers, onions, cheese, guacamole, salsa, and fromage frais and I was a much happier woman. Tonight, we're having salmon with stir fried pak choi, cucumber salad (just like Grandma used to make with rice vinegar, sugar, and a bit of salt), and hot and sour soup (veggie, of course). I think I can handle eating fish, but I don't fancy the idea of eating my old favourites like prawns and tuna for some reason.
Either my body is telling me "You have enough nutrients with all the food you normally shovel into your mouth - time to slow down, tubby" or it's saying "I don't want to eat things that might be bad for me, although I don't know why chicken is suddenly off the menu. I'm just being picky."
well, that was a stupid idea
For reasons only known to my muddled brain, I decided to weigh myself this morning. After weeks of claiming that I haven't gained any "scale weight" and yet nothing fits me anymore, I am now officially full of cack (perhaps literally too, but let's not go there). I have indeed gained scale weight - 7 lbs., to be precise. I am now at my heaviest that I've been in a very long time and have put on a grand total of 2 stone in the past 2 years. Gaaaaaaaaah.
I won't do anything stupid like attempt to diet whilst pregnant, but I do seriously need to keep this weight under some sort of control. I've already cut the junk out of my diet (no sugar if I can avoid it, no white breads/pasta/crackers, no pop, and no artificial sweeteners) and have been eating as healthy as possible. I really want to start swimming, so I'll have to check out our local pool and the leisure centre. I need to go with Paul when he takes Jasper for a walk.
Why couldn't I have been one of those nice skinny women with perfect little baby bumps?
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
the days just fly by
Our little one is 7 weeks old today (Yes, I know that I'm talking about an embryo. Humour me.), and every day that goes by without something going horribly wrong is a Good Day. It's very nice to move closer to the day I'll have my first visit with the midwife (I wonder if she'll try to hear our baby's heartbeat?) and my first scan. I think I'm enjoying being pregnant more now, mostly because I'm getting more used to the idea and as time passes, I feel a bit more reassured that everything is going well. I haven't even been nauseous lately, nor do I still feel like someone's woken me up every hour on the hour for the past three years. I no longer feel like strangling people all the time (just sometimes) and I'm no longer on the verge of a panic attack.
And of course this worries me because maybe I'm feeling just a bit too good.
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
every day is like sunday morning
I'm finding pregnancy to be a lot like having a very lengthy hangover. I feel tired, headachey, thirsty, dizzy, and nauseous, generally all at the same time all the time. The problem is, a fry up won't make me feel better. I think it's also been akin to feeling a bad cold coming on that never really develops into anything. On the other hand, if I feel well, I worry that something's gone horribly wrong. If I'm feeling good, I must not have enough pregnancy hormones coursing around my system and making me feel like crap. How insane is that? Very. I vow from this point on to cherish any moment that I feel well. Somehow I think that these moments will become much rarer as time goes on, so I shall celebrate while I can. Of course "celebrating" these days means eating Pringles or ordering yet another book from Amazon. Wooooooo.
Speaking of Amazon, I received a book today called "The Gentle Birth Method" by Gowri Motha. It's based on the theory that there are various measures we can take to improve our chances of happier, healthier, and more comfortable pregnancies and birth. Rather than sit on the sofa and inhale a can of Pringles (I haven't actually made it through the can yet), I think it's a good idea to start eating/avoiding certain foods and taking advantage of alternative therapies (like reflexology and yoga) to make me feel better. I'm all for any pregnancy philosophy that advocates relaxation, taking care of yourself, and most importantly, feeling like you have some sort of control. I don't expect a pain free, effortless labour and birth - but I do believe that I can make changes to avoid some complications.
But if I do end up having a pain free and effortless birth, I won't complain.
Monday, July 05, 2004
*blergh*
Morning sickness is just a state of mind...morning sickness is just a state of mind...morning sickness is just a state of mind...morning sickness is just a state of mind...
Now to convince my stomach. Although I've not actually had the joy of having my head in the toilet yet, pregnancy queasiness has definitely set in. Conversely, pregnancy weird craving-ness has also just set in. I just asked a colleague if I can have some of his peanut butter (a fellow North American) because I was desperate for a peanut butter and banana sandwich. I am now trying to win the battle between Hungry Lisa and Queasy Lisa to get this sandwich down. Queasy Lisa is slightly in the lead. Oh wait, no. Hungry Lisa is now winning. Mmmmmmm. Does eating peanut butter make me a bad Mum?
I've been using sea bands which seem to help, and keep a supply of crystallised ginger and various other nausea-friendly nibblies on my desk. I must try the lemon/ginger tea we've got in the kitchen, and luckily we've also got a box of peppermint tea on hand. I hate throwing up. I mean I seriously hate throwing up. I can count how many times I've thrown up on one hand* in the past ten years because I do everything I can to make sure I don't hurl when I'm feeling ill. Give me sore boobs, fatigue, constipation, 'roids, headaches, cramps, and constant peeing - just don't make me yak.
*That is, the number of times I've thrown up can be counted on one hand, not that I've thrown up on one of my hands.
Thursday, July 01, 2004
revealed
Start with the post on June 19 to catch up on the big news. :)
Just a bit of explanation before you move on. I am not mentioning this to anyone at work (except for Gary, if he still happens to read this blog), the only local friends who know about this are Heather and Mandy, and I don't plan on telling anyone else until I'm further along. I'm only in my 7th week, which is far too early to go public - or I should say, I feel it's far too early. Although we are completely over the moon about it, it's not something I want to make too public until I get my first check up.
Okay, run along and get caught up now!