Tuesday, June 22, 2004
happiness
I went to the osteopath today and he asked how I was doing, with that gleeful glint in his eye. I told him that I'm 5 weeks pregnant and he clapped his hands together with joy. I'm telling you, people are going to get suspicious.
My evil triplet (I used to be evil twins with Gary, but we now have a new addition) Tosha is 10 weeks pregnant! How spooky is that? We seem to be in synch a lot of times, but this takes the cake. Mmmmm cake. Where was I? Right, yes, Tosha's due one month before me. How very cool! I really wanted to share my news with her, but it's too early and more importantly, I don't want to steal her limelight. She's going to make the news "public" in a couple of days and she should bask in the attention from her colleagues! Um, that's assuming engineers are capable of noticing stuff like this and actually care about it. At any rate, it'll be really nice to have a pregnancy buddy so close by.
I've kept most of the moodiness at bay, although I find I get irritated very easily and my face has erupted in pre-teen zits. I'm one step away from slamming my bedroom door, shouting "You don't understand! I hate you!", and playing AC/DC really loudly for the next 8 months.
Am I glowing yet?
Sunday, June 20, 2004
swing shift
I seem to oscillate between feeling great sentimental affection for those closest to me, to wanting to slap complete strangers in Tesco. There are moments when I am in such a fantastically wonderful mood, and suddenly I find myself trying really hard not to tell people to bite my Canadian arse. I'm either speeding around the house cleaning every surface in sight or I'm too exhausted to move. I can't wait to get into work to finish up the projects I'm working on, but on the other hand, my job is a complete waste of time and everyone in the company pisses me off.
I've got 35 more weeks of this. God help you all.
Saturday, June 19, 2004
is that a bun in the oven, or are you just happy to see me?
Here's the post wot I wrote on June 15. I wasn't sure if I should put this up here now or wait a few more weeks, but considering how few know about this site, it wouldn't exactly be spilling the beans to the world. And besides, I'm bursting to tell! So for the elite few of you, here's the post:
I'm pregnant!
I'm thrilled, excited, scared, nervous, cautious, over the moon, ecstatic, worried, and a bit gassy. It's strange because I'm in that odd place between wanting to tell everyone in the world and not wanting to say anything just in case this little one doesn't stick. There's the old "wait until the first trimester is over" tradition, but I want to tell our parents sooner than that. I will tell my friends about it before the wedding (I will be 18 weeks pregnant by then) because they'll all get very suspicious if I don't drink on my Hen Night. I'm really bursting to tell everyone, though. I'm so bad at keeping secrets; never let me know if you're planning a surprise party for someone.
I rang the surgery today and got (thankfully!) a lovely receptionist who told me to come in and fill out some forms. We stopped by on the way back to work and filled out the paperwork, then the receptionist dumped half a ton of booklets on the counter saying, "These are for you!" "What, no mug? No t-shirt?" I asked. Apparently a midwife will get in touch with me and unravel the mysteries of giving birth in the UK.
So far, I haven't had many unusual (i.e. non-PMS) symptoms. The only weirdness has been a dull lower bachache, a strange pulling/stretching sensation in my lower abdomen, the odd headache, and my boobs now seem to have a life of their own and are apparently preparing to feed a small African country (including wildlife). Otherwise, it could be any typical month of womanly fun, what with all the bloating, fatigue, irritability, and increased appetite. I've read that I might experience any of the following symptoms: cravings, backaches, bloating, thick hair, huge boobies, weight gain, and mood swings. So it'll be like me but much more so.
I can't stop reading books and online articles (I really should stop that as the conflicting information is just annoying me), and I can't help but look ahead to the future. Paul is really happy and we are both so looking forward to having a baby (I'm sure Jasper will be thrilled too, mostly because the baby will drop lots of food and provide several thousand new toys for them both to chew on). I can't wait to start telling people. I can't wait to go buy baby things. I can't wait to be a Mummy.
But mostly, I can't wait until I'm past the first trimester so I can relax a little.
please leave a message and we'll get back to you in about 10 weeks
I rang the surgery today to find out when the midwife will be getting in touch, but it shut early for some reason. The recorded message gave a number for the NHS helpline, so I thought I'd give them a ring and ask them what happens next. A very nice nurse called me back (I'll say it again - hurrah for nurses) and explained that "not a lot will happen for quite some time". Although a midwife will probably get in touch and take my medical history soon, I won't have any tests, scans, or even a check-up until I've reached 14 weeks. She said that the only thing to do at this point is make sure the baby progresses and if I have any difficulties, I should give them a call. Although she was very diplomatic about it, the message that came across was that it's very early days yet and they want to make sure I'm out of the high risk phase before they start any antenatal care.
So I told Paul about this and burst into tears, thinking that I could miscarry at any minute and that's why the NHS don't want to see me. I posted a message to BabyCentre and sent one to Heather asking if this was the norm, which prompted several comforting and informative messages that made me feel a lot better.
I think I have to just simply enjoy being pregnant and let nature take its course. There's nothing I can really do at this point but provide a nice warm comfy room for the little one to snuggle in to, and there's no point in worrying myself into a stupor. This is what I've been daydreaming about for the past year or so, and this is a wonderfully unique experience. It is pretty flippin cool, I have to say. Plus, I should savour the moments I don't spend with my head in a toilet.
**Update: I spoke to a midwife at my surgery (not THE midwife, but anyway) who said I should have my first at home appointment at 10 weeks, and my first scan at 12-14 weeks. After realising that at this point there's not much that can be detected or not much than can be done if something goes wrong, it makes sense not to be poked and prodded until I'm further along. Also, after seeing so many American women panicking about things like beta tests (which checks HCG levels throughout early pregnancy) and how little they actually gained by having early scans (some at 5 weeks!!), I think the way it's done here makes more sense. And will probably give me less to panic about!
Thursday, June 17, 2004
back away from the mental lady
I'm fat. I can't fit into any of my clothes, even my fat skirts. I had to order some trousers and skirts from Next in a stupidly huge size, even though I didn't want to buy any more clothes until we go to the States for our honeymoon. Everyone is annoying me and I've had to make a conscious effort not to spew abuse at people in a Linda-Blair-pea-soup kind of way. I'm tired, dizzy, and achey. I feel like I've got the flu with the added bonus of having hayfever at the same time. My boobs are the size of a pair of hovercrafts. I have a headache.
Sing along with me: "I enjoy being a girl."
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
move along, nothing to see here
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh.
Sorry, I am truly evil. I blame this on the fact that I'm sure that I'm losing my mind. I just spent 15 minutes scouring both office kitchens looking for my mug. "Bloody cleaners," I muttered to myself as I rifled through all the cupboards (the last time my mug went missing, it had been broken by one of the cleaners who neglected to tell anyone about it). I grudgingly used a plain, white, boring mug and plodded back to my desk...where my nice Lisa mug was still sitting happily from the day before.
Oops.
Maybe I shouldn't handle sharp objects or drive heavy machinery today.
Monday, June 14, 2004
update, part 2
Oooooooooooooooh.
More tomorrow.
Sunday, June 13, 2004
update
Ooooh.
More tomorrow.
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
recommended reading
I got a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility yesterday, and I have to say, it's one of the most useful and informative books on women's reproductive health I've read. If you can get past the "most people in the medical profession don't know squat" rhetoric, it's a fascinating read. I think I've learned a lot in the past few months about my own body, but it was mostly centered around how to maximise my chances of getting pregnant. This books also provides insight on how our bodies function each month - pregnant or not - and discusses other health issues such as menopause and PMS.
It's the kind of book I would give to my daughter, in my new age Mum attempt to be as open with my kids as possible. It's quite shocking to realise how little you know about your own biology, especially something as significant as your reproductive system. Considering how much of an impact it has on us each month, it's worth knowing that it's more than bleeding, feeling bitchy, bloated, and crampy every 30 days or so.
I would, however, recommend that you keep this book away from your partners. The pictures of cervical positions and cervical mucus are enough to scare them away from your nether regions for a very long time.
Monday, June 07, 2004
and may i just add...
Need to vent. Sorry, but if I don't get it out somehow, I'll just end up in a book depository in Dallas. Where was I? Oh, yes. Venting.
Why is it that there are approximately one bajillion signs that you're fertile, but there is no real way of knowing that you're pregnant until your period is late? If you want to time conception right, you can use ovulation prediction kits, take your temperatures and go by previous cycle patterns, and you can check the position of your cervix and anything it may be secreting at the moment. Grand. Post ovulation, you're on your own, sister. You may not have any pregnancy symptoms (it seems most don't happen until weeks after fertilization, anyway), you can't do a pregnancy test until your period is late, and all those "symptoms" you've been experiencing are the same ones you feel every month during PMT. So basically, all the experts say wait until your period is late. Well duh. Pffft.
Hate the two week wait. Going to eat chocolate now.
virtual symptoms
Last night, I had a dream that I threw up. So here's my theory: maybe if I get morning sickness when I'm pregnant, it'll only manifest itself in my dreams.
What?
Saturday, June 05, 2004
i feel like chicken tonight
The ovulation prediction kit has been rather cool - I like new gadgets. It does seem to work well with taking my temp every morning, and has given me a better idea of how my cycle works. There's something slightly comforting in getting advance warning; a positive means go for it and you've got two days to do it. Otherwise, you're guessing and wondering if you're too early or too late.
This has also turned out to be entertaining for my beloved fiancee. Since hearing the news that ovulation will occur in the near future, he has been making chicken noises at me periodically. Eggs...hatching...get it? So, he brrrrrrock bock bock bock bock bock bock bock bocks at me and asks me if I'm incubating. So glad that he can make light of this - seriously. This has the potential of turning into a stressful chore, making him resentful. Instead, he's been keeping both of us giggling with his barnyard impressions. This, along with the "just keep swimming, swimming, swimming" song ("Finding Nemo" reference) has made things far more fun.
I can't wait to see what he comes up with once I'm actually pregnant. If he mentions Alien, I'll throw something hard at him, though.
Thursday, June 03, 2004
tick tick tick tick tick
It's the dreaded Two Week Wait: the days between ovulation and when you are supposed to start your period, where you fuss and fret about whether or not you're pregnant. Whee. Gosh, I never noticed that tiny bump before - I wonder what that means? Oooh I feel a slight twinge within a 2 foot radius of my abdomen, does that mean anything? I think I feel moody/hungry/barfy/sleepy/achey/bloated. What could that indicate?
GAH.
I would type more, but it's difficult to use a keyboard when you've got all your fingers crossed.
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
wrong in so many ways
Okay, I won't keep making jokes about the various things people do to improve their chances of conception. I understand that some people are willing to try anything when they're desperate for a child. I can respect that.
I cannot, however, stand by and let people do horrible things with green tea. Apparently it increases fertile cervical mucus, but the things some Westerners are doing with it are horrifying. They suggest adding things like honey, milk, and sugar to it! Some of them drink it iced with lemon and sugar! No, no, no, no, no - this is so very wrong. Please, I beg you, find a good quality green tea and drink it as intended: in a lovely china cup, with nothing added but hot water. You can try genmai cha, which is a bit more palatable to Westerners. We used to call it "popcorn tea" as kids, and it's very tasty. Just please, please stop adding things to your green tea. Please.
I thank you.