Saturday, 5 January 2013

just a girl

My boy likes Harry Potter, things that explode, playing in dirt, and thinks fart jokes are the epitome of hilarious. My girl like Barbies, dressing up as a ballerina, having tea parties, and doing my hair. My middle child likes constructing things, running around, playing in dirt, and thinks fart jokes are the epitome of hilarious - and is a girl.

The next passport photo.
"She's not a very girly girl", many people have said to me, with a touch of forlornness. "She doesn't really like girl toys, does she?" is another one I hear often. I scratch my head as I watch my daughter brush the hair of her dolls and begs me to let her put makeup on. She's not what I would call a tomboy, but she's seemingly not "girly" enough for some.

She stomps her way through her ballet class and she's usually the loudest one in the group - which is exactly what I was like as a kid. I tried ballet once, but it was pretty apparent that I was more of a tap or jazz kind of gal. Teachers constantly commented on the volume of my voice and laugh (and even recently a friend commented that he could hear me laughing from outside when we were at the pub.) I don't know if anyone would say I'm not feminine, though. So why do we expect little girls to be frills and pink and Tinkerbell?

I adore my thunderous, roaring Mimi. I wouldn't think to say to someone, "Gosh, your daughter is really girly, isn't she?" Girls are girls, whether they're demure and have blonde ringlets or covered in mud. Jesus Christ, no wonder most of us grow up with low self esteem. When did we decide that there was an acceptable level of girlyness?

2 comments:

SM said...

Great post Lisa. Hard to understand why people still have narrow views of what girls and boys should be- never mind say it out loud.

Lisa Durbin said...

Thanks! I think it's a bit like when you're pregnant and people assume that you'll want a boy if you've got one or more girls already. People are weird!!