Thursday, 26 October 2006


Hello; we're back. Thank you for not robbing us while we were away, but I'm very disappointed that none of you mowed our lawn. The holiday was fabulous, but the jet lag is horrendous. I feel like either bursting into tears, passing out, throwing up, or all of the above.

Pictures and details coming soon, but in the meantime, please enjoy these highlights:
-chocolate-covered Nutter Butters make me run around in a little circle on the floor going "woo woo woo woo woo!" like Homer Simpson.
-the American version of "Deal or No Deal" features glossy models holding up shiny briefcases. Our version features dumpy fellow contestants with red cardboard boxes. I kind of like ours better, to be honest.
-I managed to avoid all of my shows, except for 20 minutes of Desperate Housewives. I have been told that if I did watch Lost, I'd be peeling my brain from the ceiling right now.
-why do they show so many ads for prescription sleeping pills on television? Particularly in the middle of the day - late at night, I could understand.
-Rachel Ray makes my head hurt.
-the best sushi in San Diego can be found in a tiny restaurant hidden behind a dry cleaner's and a 7-11.
-you cannot buy summer clothing in California this time of year because technically, it's autumn. This means shops are full of wooly sweaters, coats, mittens and hats, and furry boots. It was 88F while we were there, and I saw a woman wearing a bomber jacket and furry Ugg style boots. No, seriously.
-yes, I did bring my own teabags with me again.
-why do the same nappies cost £8 here and $8 in the US?
-if you use the term "cutlery", Americans sometimes find this confusing.
-Jack's got Micky Mouse ears with his name embroidered on them.
-I am eating nothing but salad for the next year.

Saturday, 21 October 2006

i'm sure there's a vitamin in there somewhere

During our holiday, I have discovered that Jack likes: Denny's pancakes, fries dipped in ketchup, cheese pizza, whipped cream on ice cream, eating cream cheese off bagels (and leaving the bagel), Subway sandwiches, macaroni salad, egg rolls, and pretzels. At least we've been giving him organic milk every day, so I'm sure that cancels all the junk food out. Sort of like when you order a Diet Coke with a Big Mac.

On the plus side, Jack now has a lunchbox in the shape of Shamu. How cool is that?

Friday, 20 October 2006

on being a man

From a very early age, the male of the species learns to suck in the belly when donning beachwear.

Tuesday, 17 October 2006


Greetings from Coronado!

Is it my imagination, or do zoo animals not really give it their all these days?

Saturday, 14 October 2006

dude, where's my time zone?

Greetings from a really crappy wireless connection at the hotel! Our holiday so far, summed up briefly before the connection craps out again.
-Toddlers know not of sleeping in so that mummy and daddy can recover from jet lag. Toddlers wake in the middle of the night thinking that it's time for Cheerios. Toddlers can catch up on lost sleep in strollers and car seats during the day. Toddlers are not for the jet lagged.
-Ate, shopped, ate, shopped, ate, ate, ate. End day one and two.
-I say "Hi" when I walk into stores, salespeople say "You're visiting here from England, right?" What the...? Are Gap staff psychic?
-Americans make the best burgers. Full stop.
-Peanut butter M&Ms do not seem to exist in this state, nor do Oh Henry bars.
-I have managed to avoid all my television shows so far. I would have watched "Lost", but I fell asleep at 8 that night.
-It's almost 10pm right now and I'm not that sleepy. This is great news because it means I'm almost on local time. This is also bad news because it means I'll be up again in another few hours when my little boy wakes up for his Cheerios.
-Today: zoo (Jack likes monkeys). Tomorrow: cycling around San Diego and eating copious amounts of Mexican food. Ay carumba.

More updates, pictures, and other pithy remarks coming soon.

Friday, 6 October 2006

so long, suckas

I'm leaving, on a jet plane...well, on Monday.

Don't know when I'll be back again. Oh, wait. Yes I do. Wednesday, October 25th.

Blog from : a broad headquarters are officially on holiday! Please don't break into my house while we're gone, but if you are going to rob us, steal the Sky+ box so we can get a new one. Do feel free to go over and mow the lawn, though.

Think happy, turbulent-free plane thoughts for us, please. xx

and i don't even play one on tv

Reason #278 why you should never seek medical advice from the Internet:
I just spotted a post on a mum/pregnancy board I sometimes read from a woman who's 16 weeks pregnant was wondering if it's safe to go to a haunted house. Her husband was concerned she could be frightened into labour. Several responses followed, all of which cautioned her against partaking in such death-defying activities. The best response by far was from a woman who claimed that if the mother is frightened enough, she can give her baby a heart attack. No, seriously.

So again, I stress, do not seek medical advice from the Internet. Unless it's for entertainment purposes, such as posting it to a blog for the amusement of others.

Truly, I do despair for the human race sometimes.

Thursday, 5 October 2006

i'm not all that, nor a bag of chips

On the days when I struggle with the failings of my body and make myself sick with worry about what might happen next time, I come across writing like this, and it gives me a new sense of perspective. Julie's blog always makes me feel like "damn, why can't I write like that?" but today, it made me realise that there are women who have been through far scarier wars than I. Much of what she said hits very close to home for me in several ways, but it also reminds me that my body did manage to do something incredible - it gave us Jack.

I'm shutting down the pity party. For now.

have a drumstick for me

For the second time in my life, I'll be in the US (or en route to the US) on Canadian Thanksgiving. I'm very upset that there will be a distinct lack of turkey and pumpkin pie on Monday, and I doubt that British Airways will rustle something festive up for me in the galley. I was telling my mom about this in an email the other day. She offered me this bit of information: "Starbucks has just started selling pumpkin cappucinos."

Sweet merciful crap, pumpkin cappucinos?! If there was a flavour combination I never wanted to experience, it's pumpkin and strong coffee. Most of Starbucks' holiday concoctions have been fairly palatable. Eggnog latte, fine. Gingerbread latte, kind of gross but I can accept that. But pumpkin flavouring in a cappucino? That's the drink of satan. Or someone who smokes 12 packs a day and no longer has any tastebuds.

Maybe I'll just make some pie when we get home.