Thursday, 28 February 2002

lookit all them railbabes



And now, the top 36 search engine hits that have led to this site (the last number is the number of hits from those specific key words):



1 Canadian Railbabes 2 Yahoo Search 10

2 canadian accent Google Search 10

3 railbabes Netscape 3

4 dieting software for pocket pc Google Search 2

5 polar hear rate monitor pocket PC Google Search 2

6 GET lISA'S BRAIN GOING Google Search 2

7 Canadian Railbabes 2 Google Search 2

8 canadian railbabes 2 Google Search 2

9 railbabes Yahoo Search 2

10 scottish sex sites Google Search 2

11 lisa convergys tony Google Search 2

12 canadian railbabes Google Search 2

13 useless thoughts and ramblings Yahoo Search 2

14 railbabes Google Search 2

15 montreal landmarks Yahoo Search 2

16 thoughts for workmates Google Search 2

17 flight attendants pics Google Search 2

18 "canadian railbabes" Google Search 2

19 the canadian accent Google Search 1

20 www.railbabes Yahoo Search 1

21 Canadian Railbabes Google Search 1

22 canadian railbabes 2 Yahoo Search 1

23 "Canadian Railbabes 2" Yahoo Search 1

24 canadian railbabes Yahoo Search 1

25 "canadian railbabes" Google Search 1

26 ipaq sex free Google Search 1

27 canadians suck thoughts Google Search 1

28 scottish naked women Google Search 1

29 Canadian Railbabes 2 Google Search 1

30 Canadian Railbabes 1 Yahoo Search 1

31 LISA Google Search 1

32 canadian railbabes Netscape 1

33 "RailBabes" Google Search 1

34 "Canadian Accent" Yahoo Search 1

35 "canadian accent" Yahoo Search 1

36 girl blog site domain Google Search 1

Wednesday, 27 February 2002

yer kidding



On my driver's licence application form, I had to go through a long list of medical conditions and check any that applied to me. My personal favourite: "severe and recurrent disabling giddiness". Now this begs the question, how on earth did my mate Chris ever get his licence?
i'm sure you're all dying to know



The cottage saga continues. I've sent in an application form and if my credit is approved and they don't give the place away to someone else, I can take the cottage. We actually went out to see the house across the street (we noticed the "To Let" sign yesterday) via another property agent. This bloke was the antithesis to the guy yesterday - polite, helpful, friendly, and early. While that house had lovely features (a bigger garden and a nice "conservatory" type space just by the door to the garden), it was in need of recarpeting, repainting, and it didn't come with anything other than the stove. I'd have to buy all my furniture and fridge, and council tax was not included in the rent. I thought it would be lovely if this guy could be the agent for the cottage across the road, but as everyone kept saying to me today, it's the place and not the agent that matters.



It's very odd to go through property agents (or as we say back home, real estate agents) for rentals. The other bugger is that they charge you all sorts of fees - £40 just to check my credit, £70 "legal fees" to set up the lease, and the £1,000 deposit. Gah. Montrealers, keep counting your lucky stars because deposits are illegal and you don't have to go through agents! Well...we'll see what happens when I hear back about my credit check in a couple of weeks.



In other news, I'm taking the scooter out for a test spin on Saturday. WOOO! Of course, I can't actually drive in on public roads until I get my UK licence in the post in a couple of weeks. Please, hold your applause.



Well, what a busy week this has been and so much stuff that is about to happen. Chaotic - just how I like it.

Tuesday, 26 February 2002

and another thing



I forgot to mention that it had exposed wood beams throughout, so it was very much like being in something like Shakespeare's birthplace. Actually, the wonky floors, plasterwork, and timber reminded me of our trips to places like the Bronte house, Thomas Hardy's cottage, and all those Tudor houses you see down in this part of the country. Thanks to Mick who reminded me that summer in the country is a pretty wonderful place to be.



Yeah, I liked it. I'm going back for a second look.
things that make you go hmmmm



I think I'll have to go back and see the cottage again. The estage agents were so incredibly rude - first they didn't show up at all because they went to the wrong address, then we rescheduled and both the woman at the office and the agent got very snippy because we were 7 MINUTES LATE meeting them. We waited 1/2 hour for them to show up at 12.30 today, drove 20 miles both ways, and they never showed. We show up at 5.07 for a 5.00 appointment, and the bloke had already left. He claimed he waited 10 minutes and left, which was impossible because a) we weren't that late and b) it took him 15 minutes to "turn around" and come back to meet us. He said he only bothered coming back because of what had happened earlier that day, but we had to hurry up because he had to be back in Cambridge at 5.30. Can you tell it's not exactly a buyer's market at the moment?



All this to say, it really tainted my view of the cottage and I'm not feeling very good about the place at the moment. I do think it deserves another look as Chris kept going on about how fabulous it was and thinking about it, yes I did like it.



It's half of the house that you can see in the picture (we thought it was the whole thing at first and were totally floored), with an entrance at the side for the other flat. It's got a decent sized living room with an open fire, study (hurrah, somewhere to put my computer), kitchen big enough for a 4 seater table, a little courtyard (about 3 or 4' wide and 10' long), a little toilet room and inexplicably, a bathroom right next to it with a toilet, bath, and shower. There are two bedrooms upstairs - not huge, but I've never really been too fussed about having a big bedroom.



Down sides would be the fact that it's 10 miles from work (I'm currently 3 miles from work), but that would be okay if I get the scooter. The floors in the bedrooms are really wonky - you literally run up and down hill from one end to the other like you're on a carpeted, very short, and very small rollercoaster.



On the plus side, it has a washer which would save me having to rent one as I do now. It's much bigger than my current flat, and looks like it's been nicely kept. Lots of coworkers live in neighbouring villages so I'd always feel like I'm fairly close to people. The village of Willingham is quite nice; lots of useful things right on the same road (a grocery store, bank, post office, and obligatory pub that actually looks pretty good). It's about 3 miles up the road from the UK's biggest Tescos (supermarket) and very close to the A road.



So I dunno. I need to sleep on it, I think.

Monday, 25 February 2002

vive le canada



Everyone was talking to me about the big game, and I just sort of nodded and smiled because I completely missed it. I didn't even know it was on. I've missed most of the Olympics this time around, mostly because things were on at insane times of the day here but partially because I just totally forgot to turn on the TV. I was following it in the newspapers and online, and enjoyed the ribbing I got when the Brits beat us in curling (they're all on steroids, I'm sure), but now I truly feel like I missed out by not watching the hockey game. I'm reading all about it on other people's sites and how exciting the atmosphere was, and how proud to be Canadian they were. It's like last year when Jack and Heather (two Kiwis, no less) went into London to celebrate Canada Day and came back with stories of Sleeman's and polite but extremely drunk Canadians - I knew I had missed out. This year, I'm going to London and I'm wearing those Canadian rub-on tatoos, tabarnacle.



So, what was my little celebration for the gold medal game? I wore my "I am Canadian" shirt to the gym today. Hee.
whoop whoop whoop!



Mondays are usually such utter shite, but not this one. No way, mister. The cottage is still available and I'm going to see it tomorrow. *squeal* To cap it all, I won a £50 voucher from John Lewis! I ordered something from them about a month ago and by registering my details, I was entered in to a draw. I got an email today telling me that I won a gift certificate, and I'm all agog. 50 quid! Wheeeeeeeeeeee!

Sunday, 24 February 2002

lazy days and sundays



Our lunch at the Lazy Otter was good fun and the food was pretty decent. It's a bit strange, though - I find that my friends don't really eat and lounge around. You know how sometimes you can go out for a meal and spend ages talking over tea, coffee, a few more pints, etc.? I rarely experience that here. Granted, we did spend about 2 hours at this pub, but I always find myself surprised when people start jumping up and putting their coats on because it just doesn't feel like the party's over to me. It's kind of like our nights out as well; you can be pretty sure that everyone will clear out of your house at 11pm if you have friends over, or people will head home after last call at 11 instead of trying to find somewhere else to go/wander back to someone's house. I must still be on Montreal time and am used to the 3am last call.



I cannot stop thinking about that cottage. We talked about it at lunch (as Chris lives in the neighbouring village) and I'm just dying to see it in person. I hope it's not been rented already, though.
what the hail?





First it rained, then the sun came out, then it hailed, then it stopped, then the sun came out again, then it snowed. That's when I decided that I was going to stay home today.

Saturday, 23 February 2002

okay, i want this too



I always check the property listings just to see what's out there and if anything strikes me. Of course, I'm in no position to buy anything because a) I can't afford it and b) I have no credit history in this country and cannot get a mortgage. So, I've been looking at rentals and haven't really come across a flat that interests me. I like my flat - heck, I even posted pictures of it. I just need more space than this little 3-roomed flat can offer. I came across this cottage today, and I'm smitten. It's nothing spectacular but there's just something about it that I really fancy. Maybe I've fallen prey to that "quaint English cottage" mentality, or maybe it's the fact that I haven't seen wood floors for almost a year and a half, I honestly don't know. I'm just simply drawn to it.



Knowing how insane the property situation is around here, it's probably already gone. The Brits amongst you are most likely staring at the screen in disbelief going, "Oh my god, the rent is HOW MUCH?". Yeah, that's Cambridgeshire for you - London prices even though we're 50 miles away. What's scary is the fact that because this includes the council tax, this cottage is almost the same as what I'm paying right now for 3 rooms - and I use the term "3 rooms" loosely as the 3rd. room is a microscopic kitchen. It would be more of a commute into town, but I'd be willing to do it for the right place.



I bet the oven works. I haven't baked anything in over a year. Mmmmm.

Friday, 22 February 2002

your weekly horoscope



Thanks to my friend Gordon Bradley, here are your horoscopes for this week. Call his psychic hotline today!



aries: your ingenuity as a rock promoter is hailed when you combine Blink 182 and Sum 41 to create a super-group called "don't blink or the sum is 223"



taurus: the inside of a ping-pong ball is all volume, and the outside is all mass. but can you fit one up your ass?



gemini: you are not doing too bad nutritionally these days, compared to most whores and junkies



cancer: if you were forced to articulate the "word" in your scrabble tray now, you would be in deep trouble indeed



leo: oh my God is that Leonard Cohen figure-skating in that frilly dress? that bitch can skate!



libra: the Canadian womens' hockey team called; they said to keep your hands off their girlfriends 'til they get back



virgo: the olympic motto of "better, faster, stronger" is heard most frequently in your bedroom



sagittarius: 10W30 was not intended to be used as breath spray, although it seems to have worked for Jesse (governor of Minnesota) "the body" Ventura



capricorn: there's a little McDonald's in everyone; oops, mine just fell out. sorry



scorpio: both your promiscuity and your blatant lies win you many friends this week



aquarius: if the year of the horse makes you think of some hot UPS or Domino's man, so be it



pisces: it's not a cakewalk being Britney Spears--she has to share her last name with canned asparagus
everyone else is doing it...



Awright, I'll join in on the Friday Five fun.



1. Hey, baby, what's your sign? Do you think it fits you pretty well?

It's Aries, and from all the over-generalised stuff I've ever read about such things, yes it does fit me. I'm a stubborn, firey, old goat. Erm...ram, I mean.

2. What's the worst birthday gift you've ever received?

Really can't think of a bad gift. Come to think of it, I can barely remember any of the gifts I've received. I can barely remember what I got at Christmas. Oops.

3. What's the best birthday gift you've ever received?

Well damn, there you go asking about gifts again. I dunno, the best one was probably something like roller skates with big fuzzy dice on them when I was 13. I put Smurf stickers on them and I thought I was really cool.

4. What's the best way you've celebrated your birthday thus far?

They all tend to be very similar - gatherings with friends and doing something with Tony. I think one of the best birthdays was last year as it was my first birthday in England, it fell on a weekend so Tony was with me, and we spent a sunny day showing his brother around Cambridge. This year, my birthday's on Easter Sunday so it's also a four day weekend. YEAH BABY!

5. What are your plans for this weekend?

Tomorrow, I'm going to be sitting around waiting for the British Gas man to come and read my meter. Sadly, that's not a euphemism. Then I will probably haul myself down to the gym. Sunday, I'm off to the Lazy Otter for a pub lunch with tout le gang from work. Should be good fun - I'm really looking forward to it!



Which leads me to my next point: Jack, I hate you. Jack and Heather are spending the weekend in Paris to celebrate their second anniversary. Green with envy, I am. I hope they have a brilliant time; they really are a fabulous couple.

Thursday, 21 February 2002

i'll tell you what i want, what i really really want



Am I insane? Wait, don't answer that. A woman at work is selling this scooter (but in black) and I'm seriously considering buying it. It's perfect for Cambridge - there's nowhere to park a car, the traffic is mental, and it'll be useful getting to places that are too far by bicycle. I've wanted a scooter since I was about 17; probably because I thought Quadrophenia was a really fuckin' cool film, man. It's only 50 CCs so I can't go over 50 mph (I wasn't exactly going to take it on the M25 anyway). I dunno...I've never driven a scooter in my life, and I've never driven in this country. Maybe this is a daft idea. Hmmm...

Wednesday, 20 February 2002

if i was a character in an 80's video game...




...I'd look like this. Hehe. Fun from stor.
i miss the seafood chowder



I was thinking about McKibbin's the other day, maybe because we were discussing St. Patrick's Day recently. It's pretty naff (as you can tell from the site) and the menu has stuff like "Belfast chicken wings" (yeah wings are big in Belfast, I'm sure) but it was one of my favourite pubs when I lived in Montreal. It was a Discreet haunt, and I had my bon voyage lunch there. UK people can get a good laugh from the beer menu (hey, we didn't know that Harp is the cheapest, crappiest beer you could possibly get in the UK and Ireland), but it was a damn fine place to meet up with a bunch of people and eat some decent food.
trigger happy



Laser Quest was FUN! My trigger finger is really sore, which is making mouse clicking rather challenging today. We ran around like mad eejits last night, giggling and shooting each other. Post-laser dinner was at the Yippee noodle bar where we ate big plates of noodly things, then we wandered over to the Bun Shop for lots of glasses of alcoholy things. What a brilliant way to spend an evening - shooting at your team leader for about an hour is very therapeutic.

Monday, 18 February 2002

cunning plans



So I've started a new training programme this week. Nothing too different than what I've done before, but it's a plan. That's right, in 12 weeks, I'll be lookin' like Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2. Okay, I'm embellishing slightly. In 12 weeks, I will probably look very much like I do right now because I will most likely not follow this programme to the letter and will do my usual 2-3 days/week at the gym, skip my yoga class because I'm too tired, and will eat like a fiend on the weekend. I like to be consistent. I would also like to be fit for our holiday in Greece in April. No pressure.



So I went out and bought "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain"; a book I've been meaning to read for about 10 years now. It's really interesting and it's a great way for me to get back into art. The first exercise is to draw a self portrait, a picture of someone from memory, and your hand. This is a sort of "before" portfolio that you can use to compare to drawings you'll create as you go through the book. Fabulous - except that every time I sit down to draw, I remember something else I have to do and the sketchbook remains untouched.



So I'm eating a lot less carbohydrates (starting today) in an attempt to get the rest of this flab offa me. No, I am not doing anything idiotic like Atkins (apologies if there are any of you following it with great enthusiasm - been there, done that, and it didn't work for me) but I am trying really hard not to eat a lot of simple carbs like white breads, pastas, and those deceptively evil "low fat" food items that are so high in sugar that you might as well eat the real thing and enjoy yourself. Of course all of this gets completely buggered when we go out for food after laser quest tomorrow night - plus the pub lunch on Sunday.



See, I have such good intentions but they keep getting interrupted by stuff. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Sunday, 17 February 2002

trains, trains, and automobiles



God, I love rail travel in this country. It's so exciting! You never know if your train is going to show up on time, if it'll derail, if something's going to flood, what kind of weirdo is going to sit next to you for 3 hours, and woooo all sorts of things! All for the low low price of £72!



Bah.



I did, however, have a lovely weekend up in Newcastle. We saw Ocean's 11 (great film if you don't want to do a whole lot of thinking - it's good fun, really), did a bit of shopping, had a bite to eat at the fabulous place in the Tyneside Cinema, went for a swim, ate at our beloved Indian restaurant, watched Last of the Mohicans on DVD (only took me 10 years to see it), on Sunday we wandered around a couple of markets, went for a wee drive, then returned to the train station so I could travel back down to Cambridge. Knackered, I am.



Back to life; back to reality.

Wednesday, 13 February 2002

fat n' full o' pancakes



Dat's me! Had a smashing time last night with the gang eating way too much and drinking lots of wine. Pancakes and wine - now THAT'S feckin classy. I got some hilarious pictures but the sucky thing about being the camera owner is that you're never in the piccies yourself. Still, a good time was had by all.



Did you know that British people don't put their names on Valentine's cards? Apparently, you're supposed to write little poems on them and send the cards anonymously. Weird, eh?



So I thought coming up with a clever domain name was going to be tricky, but now I might have to come up with a company name. Gah. If I get this contract (IF - big IF), I'll need to form my very own limited company. Who'd like to be my secretary? You can wear little mini skirts and sit on my desk if you want. Puuuuuurrrrrrrrr.

Tuesday, 12 February 2002

now that's just odd



Have you ever seen Bill and Celine Dion in the room at the same time? Me neither. Think about it: they're both living in Quebec, they both have brown hair, and they both love poutine. (Well, actually I don't know if Celine Dion actually likes poutine, but let's just assume that she does.) I noticed that Bill had a large heart-shaped gem around her neck last time I saw her, plus I thought that consort of hers was a bit of a mismatch - an old, bald bloke with a huge gut. Thanks to this page, I feel that the truth can finally be told. Bill IS Celine Dion. Now let's go and give her a wedgie.

Saturday, 9 February 2002

mmmmm



Is it wrong to lust after Ally McCoist? Hmm it probably is seeing as this cheeky chappy cheated on his wife with Patsy Kensit AND cheated on them both with a flight attendant. I kind of wish I didn't know this because I have been happily gazing at him longingly, languishing in the sound of his Scottish brogue.



Maybe Ed's right. Maybe women do prefer assholes.



Nah. I think the nice guys do still win.
in a bridget jones stylee



[as if I'd give my weight], cigarettes since March 31/00 - 0 (v.g.), calories - 600 (but it's only 2.30pm), trips to the gym - 0 since last Tuesday (v. sore from dance class on Wed.), number of Valentine's cards received so far - 1 (from my mother, not. v.g.), alcohol units - 0 (but it's only 2.30pm)



I can walk today - hurrah! My fibres must be mending. I have visions of my muscles being torn apart like when you pull meat off a bone. This is supposed to be good for you? I remain skeptical. I'll be spending the day reading a book on C programming and doing laundry. The book is for a contract job I'm being interviewed for on Tuesday (at 8.00am!! Gah.), and they want me to know C. I took a course in it four years ago, so I'm a bit rusty. Luckily, I kept my textbook. Yay me. I'd be doing the contract outside my regular work hours, and it's supposed to be for 6-8 weeks. Reminder: look up telecoms terms for interview as well. Ack. Must run and start laundry. I'm out of trousers (which doesn't really matter because I'm still in my pyjamas).

Friday, 8 February 2002

random points from an achey girl



Is it normal to still be in incredible amounts of pain after my dance class TWO DAYS AGO? I'm old. Wah. I used to be so young and bendy.



Why does Jack have rigatoni noodles in his earlobes? Ffftt bamboo, my arse. Actually, Jack's earlobes have inspired me to find a bamboo plant for my little flat.



I call one of the developers I work with "Yoda" because that's what the "Which Star Wars Character Are You?" quiz determined he was. We exchanged a pile of emails today that just degenerated into all kinds of silliness. It started with me writing:

Could I get your help in removing an enormous spaceship from a swamp? Except replace "spaceship" with "stick" and "swamp" with "Merv's arse" for a more accurate description of my dilemma.

Merv being my pointy-haired manager, of course. This just started a whole thread about sticks and the evilness of Twiglets. Yep, it's Friday.



I need more gay friends. I only have three in the UK: one is a workmate I never see outside of work, another I haven't seen in a year and lives in Manchester, and the third bloke is in London but I haven't heard from him in ages. I must surround myself with gay men as is my longstanding tradition. Obviously, my fag hagness doesn't seem to translate overseas. I simply must hang out in Soho more often.



What are you doing for Valentine's Day? More importantly, what are you getting me for Valentine's Day? Hmmmm?

Thursday, 7 February 2002

*snort*



Since we've been bought by a big wanky American company, we have to do big wanky American things like fill out lists of goals. We're talking lists that require pages of points to outline all your goals, how you intend on accomplishing these goals, what you need to acheive them, and a whole lot of other nonsense. If I could be realistic, my list would look like this:

-write stuff.

-don't fuck up.

-get paid more.



Here's what Chris sent around today (and the point headings are actually what we're supposed to fill out):

Goal statement: To eat, drink and be merry

Measures: 1. Increase waistline by 2 inches.

2. Be visibly giggly

Expectation: A good time to be had by all.

Support: Chefs at Anatolia's required.

Rest of doc team must be present.

Plan: 1. Order copious amounts of food and drink.

2. Consume.

Goal accepted!



We discussed what kind of goals we could put down, and I decided that this year, I'd like to start my own religion. Coooool.

move along, nothing to see here



I came in this morning to find a horrific accident scene on top of my monitor (the picture on the left sets the "before" scene for you). Apparently Mr. Potato Head (happy pudgy bloke to the left of Cartman) had been run over by the vibrating Ireland bus that Jane got me (green thing to the left of marzipan Po). Either one of my workmates got really bored after I left, or the cleaners have a really weird sense of humour. I'm hoping for the latter 'cos it's funnier.



While this was pretty amusing, I think the best arrangement of monitor toys happened shortly after I started working at Discreet a few years ago. I came in one morning to discover Mr. Potato Head and Bill (as in "I'm just a Bill" from Schoolhouse Rock) in a 69. Poor Mr. Potato Head. He's been through so much.

Wednesday, 6 February 2002

she's a maniac, maaaaniac



Went to my first dance class tonight and it was fabulous! Really, really enjoyed myself. As Tony F. can attest to, I took dance for a few years when I was a teenager (about a bazillion years ago, to be precise). I gave it up when I started university and I've missed it. I can't say that I was the most co-ordinated person in the room tonight, but it felt good to be back in it again. Down side: I was the oldest person there by at least 10 years (they're mostly Cambridge uni students). Plus side: I wasn't the fattest one there. Hurrah!



We're off to Anatolia tomorrow for lunch as part of our release celebration. Of course, it's only sort of exciting as we still have to pay for ourselves. The big bonus is the fact that we can take a 2 hour lunch. Youppie. It's a great restaurant, though. Turkish food (mostly kebabs/brochettes of grilled things, rice, hummous, salads, etc.) and mounds of it. This is the place that launched Micky's notorious belly dancing tendencies. Micky is a bloke, by the way. A bloke with a big belly. You take it from there.

Tuesday, 5 February 2002

don't say you weren't warned



I'm going to be taking driving lessons. Yes, that's right. I'll be the one on the wrong side of the road with the smoking clutch. I'll try not to run you over. I said, I'll try.



I do have a valid Canadian driver's licence that I've had since I was 16. I've never driven in this country and I don't know how to drive a manual (I just write them, I can't drive them, DAMMIT!), so I thought I'd better take lessons. Oh, how hard can it be?



Stop laughing.

Monday, 4 February 2002

ohmigawd!



I keep getting hits from people doing Google searches for "Canadian railbabes" (and of course putting the phrase here again isn't going to help matters any). For those of you who came here via those key words, please tell me that you were typing them in as a joke. I mean come on - RAILBABES?! Ah well, there's something for everyone in this world.



Incidentally, if you do Google for those words, mine is the only site that comes up. I'm so proud.



ohmigawd! part 2



There is something so smutty and entertaining about the words "Gobbler's Knob".
um, no thank you



Got this in my inbox from a recruiter today:

Im looking for a Technical Marketing Developer.



To assist in the design and writing of

Web site content

Technical Documentation

Product Demonstrations



Applicant Requirements

Writing Skills

Demonstrated interest in IT

Initiative and self motivation.



Salary from [half of what I'm making at the moment]



I love the requirements. This is obviously for an entry level job and it doesn't say where this job is located. Do these people actually read my CV before sending me this stuff? Gah.
europeans are weird



So I'm in the kitchen this morning making my tea, and I've got my plate with slices of cheese and bread. A French woman I work with walks by and gives me a puzzled look saying, "Cheese for breakfast?" like I've got a big platter of lasagne sitting there or something. I say to her, "Erm, Europeans eat cheese for breakfast too. I've been served cheese and croissants in Amsterdam and Paris in the morning." "Ohhh yes, with croissants" she agrees, but with the implication that cheese with anything else is just plain odd. Riiiiiiight.



To be fair, I do have my weird moments. Take last night, for example. I was rummaging through my bag in a frenzy as I realised that my mobile phone had gone astray. Where could I have left it? When was the last time I saw it? Is someone making hours of calls to Istanbul with my poor little phone on MY bill? Are they looking up all my contact numbers and sending my friends abusive text messages? I decided to ring my mobile with the insane notion that whoever picked it up off the street would answer and say, "Hello, stolen phone, may I help you?" I rang the number and heard a faint ring - coming from my boots. My phone had fallen out of my bag when I hung it on the coat hook and hidden itself deep within one of my knee-high boots.



I really shouldn't be allowed out into the streets without protective gear of some sort.